Maybe you’re not the soft and fuzzy romantic type… (Picture: Getty)
Roses are red but it’s not just violets that are blue this Valentine’s Day – get a little bit risqué with your not-so-sweet message to your sweetheart.
Valentine’s cards are meant to help you express how you feel to your partner – but what if your feelings aren’t entirely pure?
After all, some couples might prefer sex toys to stuffed bears.
Worry not, because Metro.co.uk has compiled a list of the rudest, tongue-in-cheek-est, blush-inducing jokes for Valentine’s Day.
Whether you write these in a card, text them, or whisper them into your partner’s ear, these jokes are bound to make your loved one blush.
Cheeky jokes and poems for Valentine’s Day
From the outright dirty to the naughty – here are some jokes you can include in your cards to inject a bit of humour into your Valentine’s Day.
I like your style
I like your class
but most of all I like your ass.
Get saucy with your Valentine… (Picture: Getty)
Do you present the weather? Because I predict a few extra inches tonight.
Roses are red
Violets are blue
My knickers get wet
Just thinking of you.
Let’s play carpenter so I can nail you.
You remind me of a balloon – I want to blow you.
Romance not your thing? Try a joke (Picture: Getty)
What did the light bulb say to the switch? You turn me on.
You look handsome, you look sweet,
Lie down over there, and I’ll take a seat.
I’m training to be an astronaut, and my first mission is to explore Uranus.
Roses are Red,
Violets are Blue,
I’m using my hand,
Thinking of you.
We’re like hot chocolate and marshmallows… you’re hot and I want to be on top of you.
I love you around the clock,
I love your body, your mind and your soul,
And not just your massive… heart.
Feeling smooth? Try these lines (Picture: Getty)
You’re like breakfast: great in bed!
I’m an archaeologist. Do you have a large bone you’d like me to examine?
I’m like butter, you can spread me anytime.
Roses are red. Violets are fine. I’ll be the 6, you be the 9.
MORE : How your star sign can find love – and who with – this Valentine’s Day
MORE : Deliveroo is giving out free starters and desserts this Valentine’s Day
Follow Metro across our social channels, on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram.
Share your views in the comments below.
Who said romance is dead?Â
