‘The sound of my phone pinging continuously raises my blood pressure,’ says 40-year-old James Barley, from London.
‘WhatsApp gives me such anxiety at times. My top peeve is with people who use multiple messages. Why can’t it all be written in one message?
‘I have some unopened conversations with contacts with 10+ unread messages. I could have read them this morning on the way to work, but lacked any willing to do it. It’s almost as if I don’t want to acknowledge them.
‘I’m now finding myself using WhatsApp less and less. Between it and other apps with messaging features in my personal life (Instagram etc) as well as work (Teams, email, and Slack) it’s getting a bit much. There’s no time to escape or be uncontactable.’
Messaging culture has been growing for more than a decade, slowly but surely building momentum – starting with the days of MSN and BBM and evolving to Facebook Messages before the majority eventually settling on WhatsApp.
And because of this natural progression to WhatsApp, ‘always online’ has become the default. So much so that we’re added to exhausting new group chats every day (Kathy’s Hen or Dave’s leaving gift), with multiple conversation happening in one group.
‘There’s no time to escape or be uncontactable’ (Picture: Getty Images)
WhatsApp has become so all-consuming that we’ve been forced to turn to features like ‘turning read receipts off’ and muting group chats just to give us a break from this perpetual messaging.
This is a sentiment felt by many and is backed up by the growing number of people turning away from it – just earlier this week The Times called time on WhatsApp, instead championing the return of the humble text message instead.
It comes as research shows that the number of iMessage users worldwide jumped by about 20% between 2021 and 2022 and continues to rise.
‘Monitoring WhatsApp can start to feel like a full-time job in itself, and with the number of people responding and reacting, it’s easy to miss things anyway,’ adds Alex Mastin, the CEO and founder of Home Grounds.
‘I ended up turning off notifications for the majority of groups, although this did land me in hot water when I failed to respond to a post in one particular chat. Some people take this so seriously and forget that there are a hundred reasons why someone might not reply straight away.
‘In some ways, WhatsApp reinforces a culture of instant gratification, where there’s an expectation that you’ll be accessible all the time.’
Instead, after years of seeking connection and comfort in these instant messages, we’re now seeing the pendulum is shifting back the other way. More and more people are now looking to escape the continuous accessibility that Whatsapp offers.
However, this ‘great escape’ is particularly challenging, considering how this messaging culture has filtered into our professional, as well as personal lives.
The dreaded red on green (Picture: Getty Images)
Pearl Karisye, 25, explains: ‘My previous job required me to use WhatsApp for communication and had group chats for every team. I told my boss I found this overwhelming and it was bad for my anxiety having constant notifications but the leaders did not care.
‘I was on more than 18 group chats for work and in my personal life some of my friends would start new groups as well. I estimate that I had at least 25-28 group chats that were active on a weekly basis.’
This blurring of boundaries is even pushing people, like Pearl, to take more drastic action.
She adds: ‘I quit that job and changed my phone number so that I could stop being overwhelmed by using WhatsApp. I only shared my new number with close friends and family and I use a combination of iMessage and SMS, and I also just call people.
‘My head is clearer as a result and I think it’s important for people to be mindful that not everyone can tolerate being on so many group chats on WhatsApp.’
While others like Flora Blathwayt have deleted the app entirely – and couldn’t be happier for it.
‘I gave up being on WhatsApp in the pandemic and never want to get back on it,’ says 36-year-old Flora.
‘I feel like it was a super distracting space and totally overwhelming having so many conversations going at once, our brains aren’t cut out for it!
‘Ironically when I deleted the app I was actually furloughed from my job so had all the time in the world but I really wanted to focus and launch my business Washed Up Cards.’
For those who want to still use it – albeit a lot less – it’s clear better boundaries need to be established.
Letting go of guilt of not being available 24/7 is something that’s helped 34-year-old Almara Abgarian.
She explains: ‘I absolutely loathe WhatsApp. Look, I know that it’s helpful and a great tool for some people, but for me, texting has become incredibly stressful over the years. I have a high pressure job (which I love) and spend my days talking to people online, so I like to switch off afterwards – and getting stuck in an endless conversation on WhatsApp doesn’t allow that.
‘I realised something had to change and that my tech doesn’t own me (certainly felt like it from time to time!). So I set myself some rules.
‘I lovingly told the friends I speak to most often and said I might not always reply to messages straight away. And that if they don’t mind, I’d prefer a call where possible.
‘Most importantly, I’ve let go of the guilt of not being available 24/7. I don’t think it does anyone any good.’
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‘I even changed my phone number so that I could stop being overwhelmed by WhatsApp.’
