You need to find balance (Picture: Getty Images)
‘It is not uncommon for people in relationships to “take on” the experiences of their partners, including their emotions and behaviours,’ says sex and relationship expert Annabelle Knight.
‘This phenomenon is often referred to as “emotional contagion” or “empathic resonance.”‘
Given how prone we are to this, it’s especially important that we remember to look after ourselves – as well as our partner’s mental health.
If you find yourself getting stuck on your partner’s issues, almost adopting them as your own, it’s important to first understand why that’s happening.
Annabel, an expert for Lovehoney, says there are several reasons why we may do this.
She explains: ‘Firstly, we are wired to connect with others and empathise with them. When we see someone, we care about experiencing strong emotions, we naturally want to understand and share those emotions with them.
‘Secondly, we may feel responsible for our partner’s wellbeing and may want to help them manage their emotions by experiencing them alongside them.’
Make sure you’re thinking of yourself too (Picture: Getty Images)
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However, Annabel wants you to recognise that taking on a partner’s experiences can also have negative consequences, such as becoming more anxious yourself – especially if your loved one has anxiety.
This can lead to an unhealthy cycle of emotional distress.
‘Setting healthy boundaries is important for maintaining a healthy relationship with your partner and taking care of yourself,’ she adds.
‘Remember, setting healthy boundaries is a sign of self-respect and can actually strengthen your relationship with your partner.’
So where do you begin? Annabelle shares how to begin to find balance again.
How to strike the balance between your own mental health and your partner’s? Annabelle gives her top tips:
Set boundaries: It’s okay to say no to your partner if their requests or demands are too much for you. Again, with good communication you can learn to say no and set boundaries without hurting each other.
Prioritise self-care: Take time for yourself to do things that make you feel good, whether that’s exercise, reading, or spending time with friends. Taking a break and doing something just for yourself can make all the difference in how you feel mentally and physically.
Be supportive without being a fixer: Sometimes, all your partner needs is someone to listen to them without offering advice or trying to solve their problems. A good way to do this is asking them if they need advice or if they just want you to listen.
Seek support from others: It’s okay to ask for help from friends, family, or a therapist if you need it. Having a support system can help you better support your partner while also taking care of yourself.
Identify your limits and needs: Think about what you are willing and able to do for your partner and what you need in return.
Be clear and direct: When communicating your boundaries, be clear and direct. Avoid being vague or passive aggressive. Use “I” statements to express your needs and avoid blaming or accusing your partner.
Stick to your boundaries: Once you have set your boundaries, it is important to stick to them. Don’t compromise your own needs and limits just to please your partner. Be firm and consistent in enforcing them.
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