I don’t know where to start (Picture: Getty Images)
Wedding venue owner Alison Rios McCrone helps solve your dilemmas, no matter how big or small, in a weekly agony aunt column.
Dear Alison,
My fiancé and I have been engaged for a couple of months and want to start planning our big day.
However, whenever we book a time to sit down and talk about it, something else comes up – the kids need us, we have work meetings or we’re too tired or stressed.
I don’t see our lives getting less busy and so I’m wondering whether it’s worth us booking a wedding planner to help. I think having someone there to do the heavy lifting would be great, allowing us to enjoy the process more and demanding less time.
The problem is, I don’t know where to start. What does a wedding planner actually do? How much do they cost? Is it wrong for me to assume that everything will be a breeze once we book one?
All the best,
Mark
Do you have a wedding problem you need some advice on?
Weddings are joyful occasions – but they’re also incredibly stressful. Whether you’re a bride or groom, best woman or man, family member or friend of the couple, the run up to the big day can be very tense.
If you need a bit of help with your quandary, Alison, who has run a venue for 10 years and helps couples plan weddings, is here to offer a helping hand.
Email [email protected] to share your issue anonymously with Alison and get it solved.
Dear Mark,
It is such an exciting time in your life to start planning a wedding, and at the same time, it can be overwhelming and stressful, especially when you already have a busy life.
When my husband and I planned our wedding, we only had 12 weeks to organise it as we wanted to get married that year; I had a pre-planned overseas work trip I couldn’t miss and as I ran my own business, I had limited time to allocate to planning.
So when my secretary asked if she could be my wedding planner, I gladly gave her the job.
She did much of the day-to-day tasks like ringing around venues and suppliers to get their availability, creating spreadsheets for table plans, finding out dietary requirements and sorting guests’ attendance.
We regularly discussed updates on what planning stages were completed and what we still needed to do.
She also dealt with the unexpected: 10 days before our wedding, we had to find an alternative venue as there was a problem with our original choice. She found somewhere else and contacted our guests with the new details. I would not have managed without her.
When my secretary asked if she could be my wedding planner, I gladly gave her the job (Picture: AKP Branding Stories)
It did not make wedding planning a breeze as there was still much I had to do that she couldn’t. Things like coming up with guest lists, wedding dress shopping, deciding what kind of suppliers I wanted, and the legal aspect had to be handled by me.
But it did free up my time to focus on other tasks, and because of the long hours I worked – and the short timescale for planning – it saved me so much hassle and stress.
With their experience and skills, wedding planners can advise you on what is necessary and may be less essential for your wedding day. As you begin your planning, they can help with budget setting; they can quickly identify where costs can be saved and an approximate percentage to spend on each element of the wedding,
Then they can help to source venues and suppliers, create timelines, problem-solve and organise guest invitations and responses.
On the day itself, they can take charge and troubleshoot, allowing you to spend more time with your partner and children.
Firstly, I recommend you sit down with your fiancé and determine how much you want to spend on your wedding. Some wedding planners may charge a percentage of the wedding budget for their services, so clarifying their pricing upfront is essential.
For the entire service, you might expect to pay in the region of 10%-12%, though the cost is really down to your location, the planner’s experience and the level of service you require.
According to Bridebook, the average amount couples spend on a planner in the UK is just shy of £2,000 – but some planners may set a higher minimum spend.
If you are looking to save money, wedding planners offer different packages for different amounts of input, and can assist as much or as little as needed.
You could employ their services for selective and more time-consuming parts of wedding planning – such as handling RSVPs and liaising with suppliers – and take on the simpler tasks – like table plans and favours – yourselves.
Or they can simply be there on the day to ensure everything flows and runs smoothly. At some venues, an on-the-day wedding planning service comes as part of the package.
More from Platform
Platform is the home of Metro.co.uk’s first-person and opinion pieces, devoted to giving a platform to underheard and underrepresented voices in the media.
Find some of our best reads of the week below:
As part of Degrees of Separation, our ongoing series on family estrangement, Han-Son Lee reflects on the casual cruelty of his father, their non-existent relationship, and how he felt when his dad passed away.
With rising childcare costs forcing more and more people to rely on their parents for babysitting advice, Kat Romero insists that she’ll never put pressure on her mum and dad to help look after her son.
Rebecca Gossage shares the devastating account of her father’s death after being diagnosed with pancreatic cancer and the failures at various levels of the NHS that saw him unable to receive proper treatment.
And finally, in our latest ‘So, How Did It Go’ feature on noteworthy first dates, Helen Aitchison recounts an experience involving a catfish, a kiss, and a lot of toothpaste.
It is important to maintain realistic expectations, however. You will still need to allocate time to review with your wedding planner throughout the process, as they will require your guidance and need you to clarify specific issues – like who you want in photos, your music choices, and how much you are willing to spend on certain suppliers.
It is also essential to remember that perfect weddings do not happen by magic. You must communicate openly with your planner, work collaboratively, have realistic expectations about what they can achieve and be actively involved in making your dream wedding come to fruition.
To start your search for a planner, ask friends and family members if they know of anyone they would recommend. If you have viewed any venues, they may have recommended wedding planners they could suggest.
Some wedding websites also have a suppliers list, though be wary that some may be paying to advertise.
Alternatively, do an online search and check out reviews, or ask for testimonials from previous couples they have worked with.
Shortlist three wedding planners and meet with them to see if their personalities align with yours and if you think you could work well together.
Delegating can reduce a lot of pressure. Hiring an experienced, professional wedding planner who can help deal with any challenges is an investment – but it’s one that can also give you priceless peace of mind.
Happy planning!
Best wishes,
Alison
Do you have a story you’d like to share? Get in touch by emailing [email protected].
Share your views in the comments below.
MORE : I want to get married in 12 weeks but my parents say I’m mad
MORE : My mum called me bridezilla and said my friends were complaining about me
MORE : My girlfriend hates public proposals – I want to ask in front of everyone on Christmas Day
What does a wedding planner actually do? How much do they cost?
