Wet wipe showers and washing up liquid for shampoo: How it feels to live in hygiene poverty

Last September, Chantel Graham made an appointment with her doctor.

Although only 38, she couldn’t understand why her memory had apparently stopped working; she would forget things, get confused and was scared that she had dementia. 

The single mum-of-two from London remembers: ‘It was little things. I was locking myself out of my bank, forgetting passwords, or they would ask me “what’s your memorable word” – and I didn’t have a clue at all.

‘I was so tired. My brain would just wipe. I would completely forget to see people I’d arranged to meet up with. I would forget whole conversations.’ 

After going through tests, it emerged that Chantel didn’t have a terrifying brain disease – the problem was, in fact, stress. The anxiety of struggling to pay the bills and feeding her kids had messed with her memory.

Chantel had been living in ‘survival mode’ since 2020 when Covid forced her to go on unpaid leave from her job as cabin crew. She claimed benefits and scrimped and saved, but the benefits only covered her rent, and she ended up in food and hygiene poverty, broken and exhausted. 

‘Hygiene poverty’ is the term used to describe the inability to afford everyday cleaning and personal grooming products that many of us take for granted. A shocking nine million UK adults (one in six) now live in hygiene poverty – a figure that has tripled over the last year – according to research last month from charity In Kind Direct, an organisation that provides consumer products (donated by household manufacturers, retailers and brands) to charities. 

Single Mum Chantel was so stressed she thought she was convinced she was experiencing symptoms of dementia (Picture: Owner supplied)

Food bank users report using wet wipes instead of hot showers, or using washing up liquid as body wash and shampoo. Up and down the UK, families like Chantel’s have been forced to choose between groceries and grooming. 

‘I’d been playing the strong, Black mum, but my body told me; we can’t cope with this,’ she explains. ‘It was the stress and the worry of how I would get through it when the bills kept coming. I’ve never experienced that level of uncertainty.’

Chantel tried not to concern her two daughters, now age five and nine, while cutting back on every possible purchase; replacing shower gels and bubble bath with soap and bicarbonate of soda, hand washing their school clothes with washing up liquid in the sink, and cutting open the tubes to eek out every last scraping of toothpaste. 

She remembers: ‘I played it down to the kids, but I was feeling like a complete failure as a mum. Those little things all add up; the shampoo, the loo roll, sanitary products. They’ve all gone up so much in price and it gets unmanageable. Things that I never thought about before, that I used to just pick up and put in the trolley, I couldn’t afford. It was a horrible time. I didn’t know what to do or who to turn to for help.

‘I felt like a failure; that I’d let my kids down,’ adds Chantel. ‘I’d been down every avenue for help that I could think of and they were all closed. Things got really hard for me. I couldn’t work, I couldn’t not work. I just didn’t know what to do.

‘I was having trouble sleeping, I lost weight and I had brain fog. I was doing my best to look after the kids, but I was just on autopilot. I really struggled.’

Chantel tried not to worry her daughters while replacing shower gels and bubble bath with soap and bicarbonate soda, unable to buy things she never thought about before (Picture: Owner supplied)

One of the hardest parts was buying period products. Chantel has sensitive skin, and some brands bring her out in rashes. But she had to revert to the thickest, cheapest available sanitary towels, an unpleasant experience that reminded her of having just given birth.

‘It was so stressful -and the shock of it, to go from travelling around the world to going to the supermarket and not being able to afford things,’ she says. ‘Sanitary products are so expensive and the overnight pads I bought – they weren’t nice. It affects your self esteem and I felt self conscious buying them.’ 

It’s a problem facing women all over the country. One told In Kind Direct: ‘Having to choose between period products and washing products can be the difference in a full food shop and having to choose what to put back. This shouldn’t be a choice for anyone.’

While another has said: ‘My mum doesn’t always have enough money to buy period products. There are three of us in the house and we all need them. The cheaper ones leak and then we have to do more laundry. Then having to dry the clothes inside in winter adds further cost. We don’t know what to do.’ 

Three in five people who live in hygiene poverty suffer from poor mental health as a result, according to Ruth Brock, CEO of The Hygiene Bank, a community-led charity that provides people with products, and was the chosen charity for Metro.co.uk’s 2020 Lifeline campaign.

Ruth Brock CEO of the Hygiene Bank has seen how hygiene poverty causes isolation from friends, family and even opportunities at school and work (Picture: Hygiene Bank)

The Hygiene bank has seen consistently higher demand in recent months, with waiting lists having doubled throughout the cost-of-living crisis. 

‘Hygiene poverty makes people isolate themselves from friends, family and even opportunities at school and work. It is uniquely oppressive,’ Ruth explains. ‘Our research and work in local communities show the impact of hygiene poverty on people’s self-esteem. From teenagers skipping school, and people isolating themselves in their homes, to parents who don’t even feel comfortable joining a nursery collection queue because of the shame and embarrassment they feel about their appearance.’ 

Lesley Crellin relies on a food bank to get by, and when she brings a new bottle of washing up liquid home, she pours half into an empty bottle and tops them both up with water. She’s been struggling with the bills since the cost-of-living crisis hit, and has been unable to work since she had a stroke twenty years ago. Lesley manages other health issues and is a carer for her husband Tony, who is terminally ill, meaning the couple rely on benefits. 

For Lesley, hygiene and cleaning products were the first to go when money got tight (Picture: Owner supplied)

For Lesley, 59 from Crewe, hygiene and cleaning products were the first to go when things got tight. She makes savings wherever she can; she’s cleaned clothes with washing up liquid, uses the bare minimum detergent in the washing machine – which she barely runs –  only showers every other day and she’s abandoned hope of buying household basics like glass cleaner or air freshener. 

She tells Metro.co.uk: ‘It’s a constant struggle. You get stuck as to whether you buy food or pay your bills. It’s been really hard. Even toothpaste is expensive now. I very rarely buy anything to do with hygiene or washing from the supermarket. 

‘I find it difficult and it gets me down. It’s hard when I get to the supermarket; I don’t go up the cleaning aisles, the products aisle, I don’t go up the cereal aisle. I can’t afford it.’

Lesley can’t afford to visit the cleaning aisle in the supermarket (Picture: Getty/iStockphoto)

For the past four years, Lesley has been visiting Chance, a charity that supports the homeless and vulnerable in Crewe and Nantwich, every Monday, where for £3.50 she can get a good amount of food, toilet roll, washing powder and hygiene and sanitary products and other goods. 

‘I was cutting down wherever I could; watering down the shampoo and shower gel and washing less,’ she adds. ‘I had to cut down drastically on everything. I used to like having two showers a day, and washing my hair every day, but I was only having two or three showers a week. It’s terrible when you can’t have a shower when you want to. You don’t feel fresh. You feel untidy. It made me feel like I wasn’t looking after myself.

‘If it wasn’t for Chance I wouldn’t have any of this stuff. I certainly wouldn’t be buying deodorant and toothpaste. I can’t afford £6 or £7 for washing powder. I would just go without and I would find it so hard. I’m so very grateful to them.’

Hayley Smith founder of FlowAid believes hygiene poverty leads to a vicious cycle of shame, stigma and physical and mental health issues (Picture: Owner supplied)

Lesley’s struggle is compounded by her husband’s diagnosis of interstitial lung disease, emphysema and COPD in April last year which has left him on a transplant list.

‘I’m so worried. I sit here, day after day and I think – how am I going to have a funeral? I’ve got no money,’ she admits. ‘When the inevitable comes, which I know it will, how am I going to bury him?

‘It’s 2023; these are basic things that people should be able to afford to buy. Everybody should be able to afford to buy a bar of soap, some deodorant and shampoo and have a wash. It’s tragic when you look at families that are struggling.’ 

Access to basic hygiene products are essential to maintain good mental and physical health, according to Hayley Smith, founder of FlowAid, which campaigns for free sanitary products for homeless women.

Physical health issues are also a worrying concern when it comes to hygiene poverty. (Picture: Getty Images)

‘There is a shame and stigma attached to hygiene poverty and this embarrassment and fear of being judged can stop people asking for help, meaning that they get stuck in a vicious cycle,’ she says. ‘This can lead to further mental health issues. Physical health issues are also a worrying concern when it comes to hygiene poverty. Women who suffer are at higher risk of infection, and toxic shock syndrome is also prominent amongst homeless and vulnerable women due to prolonged use of tampons. Severe cases of TSS can lead to amputations and can also be fatal.

‘Lack of poor hygiene and access to products can also cause body odour, rashes, itchiness and other diseases, which again can lead to poor mental health and feed into the stigma of embarrassment. It really can be a never ending cycle.’

Happily, Chantel is now back at work and being paid again. Like Lesley, she relied on a food bank – the Breadline in London – to get by. She is now repaying the money she borrowed on credit cards through a difficult three years, and is looking on the bright side. 

‘It was a really difficult time, but it is important that people know that there is support out there,’ she says. ‘And it was important for my daughters to see that mum needed help and that sometimes you have to ask for it. I want people to know that they’re not alone.

‘I’m so grateful for Breadline and InKind Direct’s help. I could have cried the first time I saw that food parcel full food and products – it was such a blessing. We’d been living off beige food – but there were fruit and vegetables! I felt like I could breathe again for the first time in a long time.’ 

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