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    Toxic masculinity is so rife I’m terrified for my son’s future

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    By News Desk on April 28, 2023 Lifestyle, News Briefing, UK News
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    Since the rise of Andrew Tate on social media, I’ve seen a noticeable increase in everyday misogyny in the classroom (Picture: Getty Images)

    This week, Labour announced plans to step up the education of young boys about violence against women and girls if they get into office: 

    As the mother of a son and a teacher who sees the epidemic of misogyny spreading through our schools, I think it can’t come soon enough.

    Leader Keir Starmer plans to ultimately halve violence against women within a decade, and given my experience, I was pleased to see Starmer recognise that hearing from victims would help boys call out misogynistic friends. 

    Since the rise of Andrew Tate on social media, I’ve seen a noticeable increase in everyday misogyny in the classroom. 

    From derogatory references to girls as ‘females’ or even ‘whores’ to boys idolising Tate’s ideas of a ‘high value man’ (which seems to turn women into objects to collect and control rather than equal partners). 

    Recently, I’ve even known of multiple male students wanting to use Tate as an inspirational figure for GCSE speeches – and his accusations of trafficking and sexual assault have not stemmed this trend.

    So Labour’s approach is not only welcome, it’s essential.

    Violence against women and girls is quite literally a case of life and death. 

    It is estimated that, on average, a woman is killed by a man every 2.6 days in the UK and statistics tell us that the perpetrator is most likely to be their current or ex partner. 

    We know that domestic abuse soared during the pandemic. Calls to Refuge’s domestic abuse helpline rose by 61% between 2020 and 2021. 

    And with the ongoing investigations into misogyny in the Metropolitan Police, and officers being found to be serial rapists hiding in plain sight (or in uniform), it can often feel like there is nowhere women are truly safe. 

    If any other phenomenon was murdering citizens at this rate, wouldn’t there be an urgent national effort to curb it? A taskforce to battle against it?

    Too often, it has seemed to me that misogyny is so ingrained in our society that the safety of women is not prioritised. 

    Either that or it is rendered nothing but a political football by politicians with other agendas, like the Home Secretary’s recent comments about ‘Pakistani men’ 

    Keir Starmer has announced plans to tackle misogyny (Picture: Getty Images)

    That’s why Labour’s plans are so vital, and why it’s crucial that Shadow Home Secretary Yvette Cooper recognised the power of online algorithms in fuelling this crisis. 

    Social media influencers like Tate have tapped into an alarming generational identity crisis, which sees young boys, especially those from vulnerable backgrounds, desperate for male role models in a society where more positive outlets (like youth centres or extracurricular opportunities at school) have been cut to the bone under the Tories. 

    Recently, Tate shared a thread on Twitter about his mother, telling an anecdote about his domineering father, who was worried about him being raised ‘like a bitch’ and outlining how she was nothing but an overly emotional ‘female’ for wanting to restrict their relationship.

    When I read it, I couldn’t help but be struck by how easily misogyny is learned and passed on. From fathers to sons, from screens to minds, and peer to peer.

    When I first found out that my first child was a boy, I couldn’t help but feel slightly apprehensive. In an age where misogyny is accessible at the tip of our fingertips, in the things we read and watch and the evidence of its violent outcomes on the news everyday, I knew I needed to protect him. 

    I knew I had to make sure he doesn’t view women as inferior or feels entitled to control and demean his peers simply because of their gender.

    And I know that we, as a society, should teach boys from childhood that violence against women and girls is a deadly epidemic that needs to be stopped

    Labour’s plans are not perfect, but they’re a start.

    Of course, during a teaching recruitment crisis and when funding is tighter than ever, it may feel hard to condone adding something like gender equality lessons or anti-toxic masculinity classes to the curriculum. 

    There will be concerns over how they will fit, what they will cost and who will even teach them.

    But for me, that’s exactly the point. Isn’t that what caused this epidemic to run rampant in the first place? 

    More: Trending

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    If we continue to see the safety of women as an optional add-on to our society then it’s too easy for it to be slashed or deprioritised when other things get in the way. 

    Whether it’s discussing feminism in English lessons or adding female self defence to PE, showing boys positive male role models in assemblies and actively incorporating gender equality lessons into the existing syllabus, it can be done if we, as a society, make it a priority. 

    There’s no time to lose to make sure women and girls of the next generation don’t have to feel unsafe at the hands of men – and Labour’s plans offer a start in the right direction. 

    Do you have a story you’d like to share? Get in touch by emailing jess.austin@metro.co.uk. 

    Share your views in the comments below.


    MORE : EastEnders’ Danny Dyer tackles toxic masculinity to see if UK men have ‘lost their identity’


    MORE : ‘It’s important for my boys to see me cry’: Actor Jason Flemyng on why we need to tackle toxic masculinity


    MORE : Three women to sue Andrew Tate over allegations of physical abuse and rape

    As a teacher, I’ve known of multiple male students wanting to use Tate as an inspirational figure for GCSE speeches. 

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