Charlie and Nick’s tender discussion of eating disorders was validating (Picture: Netflix)

‘Sometimes it feels like the only thing I can control in my life.’

That’s how Charlie Spring describes his eating disorder behaviours to boyfriend Nick Nelson in season 2 of Heartstopper and I’ve never heard a truer statement.

The much-loved coming-of-age drama is back and, following the astronomical success of season 1, delves deeper into Charlie (Joe Locke) and Nick’s (Kit Connor) blossoming romance.

Alongside all the cuteness, the second instalment touches on deeper, darker issues – such as Charlie’s struggles with food.

As someone who has lived with an eating disorder since the age of 12, the depiction of Charlie’s experiences was so painfully relatable – and probably one of the best portrayals I’ve seen on TV.

We’ve previously seen eating disorders in the film To The Bone, which was horrifically triggering. I also remember Cassie’s practically aspirational depiction of ED in Skins – we are so used to being traumatised by fictionalised eating disorders – but things are changing.

While it wasn’t mentioned in season 1, the seeds were planted in a ‘if you know, you know’ sort of way. We’d see Charlie staring aimlessly into his cornflakes, swirling them around with a spoon before school, or hiding in his teacher’s classroom at lunchtime to avoid eating with friends.

But season 2 has taken things up a notch and made it clear just how devastating these illnesses can be.

It starts with Charlie making endless excuses not to eat.

‘I’m not hungry, but I’ll have a cup of tea,’ he says to Nick before returning home and refusing dinner from his parents with the lie that he ‘ate at Nick’s’.

‘I’m still full from breakfast,’ he insists as Nick hands him an ice cream, to which he’s reminded that he ‘barely ate any breakfast’.

‘I’m always cold!’, he argues, as Nick comments on the temperature of his hands before lending Charlie his own hoodie while out on a park date.

Things escalate in Paris, when Charlie faints in the Lourve (Picture: Rachel Lightsey/Netflix)

Throughout it all, Charlie remains smiley and bubbly. He jokes with his pals, continues to play rugby, hands in assignments despite struggling to concentrate, he never misses a day of school or makes excuses to avoid parties.

Charlie is on absolute top form, to the point where no one would assume he was falling apart beneath the surface. Beyond that, he continues to go out of his way to make others feel better when they’re down.

But soon enough, the little things escalate and Charlie is reminded that this illness isn’t something he can actually control.

Things come to a head when Charlie and co. venture to Paris on their languages trip, resulting in him fainting in the Louvre, surrounded by the most beautiful art yet unable to take any of it in as his vision becomes blurred and his balance unstable.

Charlie is left with no choice but to address his restrictive eating when Nick gently broaches the subject – with this, Heartstopper provides a masterclass in that oh so terrifying yet important conversation.

‘I’ve noticed you, erm, don’t really eat a lot. It feels like it’s got worse lately… I wanna understand,’ Nick begins, holding Charlie’s hand.

‘I know I don’t eat like normal people,’ Charlie responds, perfectly summing up how ‘abnormal’ an eating disorder can make you feel, even though those behaviours are your own normal.

‘Some days I’m fine, but other days I feel like I need to control it.’

It’s such a tender and emotional moment, especially for those who understand all too well how impossible it feels to put into words what an eating disorder is and how, despite knowing it’s wrong, you’re unable to stop.

It’s not often we see young guys have heartfelt conversations about their mental health on-screen (Picture: Samuel Dore/Netflix)

When I knew Heartstopper would be pursuing this storyline, I was worried, I’ll admit. I was preparing myself for another ‘love can save you’ trope and another glamorised portrayal of these deadly disorders.

Luckily that’s not what we get.

Instead, Nick wholeheartedly admits that he doesn’t understand. He just wants to be there for Charlie, easing the load and making the days more bearable. He doesn’t attempt to cure Charlie’s eating disorder, but he’s by his side as he tries to figure things out.

And as eating disorders often make those suffering feel so lonely and unlovable, to see Nick love Charlie in spite of his struggles means a lot.

What’s more, Nick represents how loved ones can feel totally clueless trying to care for someone with an ED, as we see him Googling the symptoms on his phone.

On a personal note, I can’t articulate how validating it felt for me to watch Charlie’s story unfold, even if it was through tears.

I too visited Paris when I was 15, at the height of my eating disorder. I was with family, all of us so excited to make memories. 

I went up the Eiffel Tower, shopped on the Champs-Élysées, all on an empty stomach and now it breaks my heart to admit that I truly can’t remember any of it and I don’t recognise the girl in my photos.

I was so focused on starving myself that I was incapable of appreciating where I was. My ED was so violent and overpowering that it ruled my life and stole all my joy.

Hopefully one day I’ll be able to have my Parisian adventure again, this time on a full stomach.

But until then, I’ll just be grateful that the likes of Heartstopper is offering young people and their parents a refreshingly honest take on what are such daunting, terrifying diseases.

I won’t pretend that Heartstopper is perfect and yes, it does still feed into stereotypes. Charlie is young, white, of a slim build and engaging in starvation behaviours.

But he’s also a boy, and how often do we see young guys have heartfelt conversations about their mental health on-screen? If you ask me, not often enough.

He’s also gay, offering insight into the stresses of coming out and how they can trigger you to control your eating. As someone who has been deeply in the closet, I know that coming to terms with your sexuality can bea heavy weight, where altering your food intake feels like the only outlet for your anxiety.

Ultimately, Joe Locke does a fantastic job of showing how hidden eating disorders can be and the refusal to admit there’s a problem until everything comes crashing down.

The writing in Heartstopper season 2 is such a breath of fresh air.

It’s also proof that, after years watching of programmes such as 13 Reasons Why – which controversially depicted suicide – mental illness representation doesn’t need to be shocking, graphic or traumatic to raise awareness and help people feel seen.

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As someone who has lived with an eating disorder since the age of 12, the depiction of this character’s experiences was so painfully relatable.