Ninety-one percent of survey respondents believe an STI diagnosis would impact them negatively (Picture: Getty Images)

Asking For A Friend is the series where we answer the questions you’ve always wanted to ask.

Testing positive for a sexually transmitted infection (STI) can feel earth-shattering.

The connotations that surround STIs, like promiscuity or a lack of hygiene, add to the stigma that causes so many people to feel shame after getting a diagnosis. 

In fact, in a recent survey of 2,000 sexually active Brits, by Superdrug, 91% believed that an STI diagnosis would negatively impact their life in some form or another.

More than half said an STI would negatively affect their love life, which makes sense considering the fact that nobody ever talks about them.

In Superdrug’s survey, 63% said they wouldn’t feel comfortable going to their friends and almost one in two wouldn’t even speak to their long-term partner about it, let alone someone they just met. 

STIs are extremely common (Picture: Getty Images/iStockphoto)

It’s understandable: ‘The fear of judgement from a potential sexual partner is a big problem, as well as the possibility of rumours being spread,’ Rachel Worthington, a sex expert and writer, tells Metro.co.uk.

‘Since STIs are often linked in our society to ideas of promiscuity, many of us fear what people will think of us if we tell them we have an STI.’

However, it’s vital for anyone with an STI to disclose their condition to all new sexual partners. 

‘Disclosing your STI status is an important part of being transparent with your sexual partners,’ Rachel says. 

‘Having an STI is not shameful, but it is something that could affect any sexual partners if they engage in sex with you. 

‘By disclosing if you have an STI, your partner can make an informed decision about whether or not they want to have sex with you, as well as what kind of sex you’ll be having, and what precautions to take.’

When is the best time to tell a new partner you have an STI?

So, you know you’re going to have to tell a new love (or sex) interest about your STI eventually – that is, before you do the deed. 

But how soon is too soon? What you get up to in the bedroom, and whether or not you have an STI, is hardly first-date friendly.

But leaving it too late can also be tricky, as it may put your potential partner in an awkward position.

‘Personally, I’m of the opinion that you should not wait until the last minute to disclose that you have an STI,’ says Rachel.  

‘If you’re just about to get it on and you tell them, it can be hard for them to not feel pressure to continue, even if they don’t feel comfortable.’

She says that when you choose to disclose will be a very individual process, and will totally depend on the vibe you’re getting from a partner. 

Essentially: when you know, you’ll know. 

Don’t leave it until the last minute to disclose an STI (Picture: Getty Images/iStockphoto)

How should I tell a partner about my STI?

When you’ve finally plucked up the courage to tell your partner – again, before the deed has even begun – it can be hard to know how exactly to put it.

Do you need to tell them about your symptoms? Who you got it from? How common it is?

‘You don’t have to get into all the gory details,’ says Rachel. ‘Simply saying that you’ve been diagnosed with X STI should be enough.’

You can also let them know if or how it’s being treated, how long you expect to be infectious or anything else that might directly affect them, she adds. 

‘They might have some questions, but you can decide how detailed you want to be.’

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