Paul Foot dispels myth behind depression fuelling a comedian’s work

Paul Foot’s new Edinburgh Fringe show delves into the comedian’s biggest epiphany (Picture: Jonathan Birch)

Paul Foot is a new man. The transformation goes deeper than the cropping of his mullet-esque hairdo, stand-up’s most distinctive barnet. Far more importantly, after 29 years of severe mental health problems, he’s happy.

As he details in Dissolve, his new Edinburgh Fringe show, Paul experienced a momentous event on March 20, 2022, on the outskirts of Lancaster, where, he says, the secrets of life were revealed to him. ‘I’ve never done a show like this before that’s in any way personal,’ he tells me.

‘I’ve had shows that make people laugh and are a bit silly, but this show makes people laugh and has something deeper to it.’

What the life-changing ‘event’ was is a mystery to be revealed in the show. I take a few guesses.

Did he become a Scientologist? ‘It’s definitely not religious. But I do mention Jesus in the show, as I wonder what Jesus might have achieved if he’d been a plumber.’

Did someone buy him a Keep Calm And Carry On mug? ‘They did not.’ Did he experience the perfect kiss? ‘I don’t know what the perfect kiss is. Sometimes when you’re doing a kiss, it’s a bit boring. You want to do something else, like watch a TV programme.’

Prior to the ‘mental event’ Paul couldn’t remember a time he was happy (Picture: Jonathan Birch)

It was a ‘mental event’, rather than a physical one, he says. ‘All my problems disappeared, just like that. Now, I feel full of joy all the time. I’m not worrying about the past and future, as I was before – a constant state of anxiety. I can enjoy my life. I realise that this is what life is meant to be like.’

Prior to the event, Paul can’t remember a time when he was happy. ‘I went through traumas in the past… From the age of 19, for 29 years I had terrible anxiety and depression.

‘I was at university, and there wasn’t much empathy or sympathy. My teenage years were quite difficult, too – lots of bullying at school. There were very tough times all through my adult life. I was having a successful career but I felt cut off from it.’

He recalls: ‘In 2017, I was in Melbourne in Australia, at The Famous Spiegeltent venue. It was my show. Everyone was there for me. But getting ready for that show, I didn’t feel any joy or like it was happening to me. I felt like I was inside glass, watching from outside.

‘That was the feeling I had for a long time, a sort of disconnect from the simple joys of life. I’d be going along, and suddenly a small thing would happen and I’d plunge into a terrible anxiety that would affect the day and my relationships, which would make me depressed.’ Over decades, he says, ‘I tried everything. I tried therapy, which sort of worked but sort of didn’t – you either have forgiven someone or you haven’t. I tried medication, which did work but had side effects.

‘I tried talking to friends and support networks, having cognitive behavioural therapy, breathing exercises… In the end, I felt, I’m 47, these traumas from the past are still affecting my life, and I’m getting nowhere.’

For Paul depression made him unempathetic to others (Picture: Jonathan Birch)

The newly happy Paul Foot faced a conundrum. ‘One of my first questions after my whole state of mind changed was: Will there still be comedy? The answer was “Yes.” The idea that artists’ inspiration comes from a place of depression, particularly comedians, is a myth.

‘I came up with comedy ideas when I was in a happier place. When I was in a dark, depressive space, there were no ideas. There was silence. There was nothing.

‘When I had depression, I didn’t have time to worry about other people. I was particularly unempathetic to other people with mental health problems. Now, I’m concerned for others. It’s a totally different existence.’

Born in Amersham, Buckinghamshire, Paul got into stand-up comedy ‘almost by chance’ in 1993, while studying maths at Merton College, Oxford.

‘I was planning to become an actuary or accountant. I thought it’d be a nice little anecdote: “I went on-stage once…” But I performed at the university club and I knew immediately it was going to be my career.’

He has written and performed more than a dozen stand-up shows, won best show at the Sydney Comedy Festival and been on TV’s Never Mind The Buzzcocks, 8 Out Of 10 Cats Does Countdown and Would I Lie To You?

His wry observations and angry rants can win over mainstream crowds but his quirky mannerisms, distinctive hair, sartorial elegance (bomber jacket, white shirt, tie…) and surrealist moments show a comic who enjoys standing apart. He doesn’t have fans – he has the ‘Guild of Paul Foot Connoisseurs’.

Paul’s comedy ideas always came when he was in a happier place (Picture: Jonathan Birch)

‘I never set out to be different or alternative,’ he says. ‘It came naturally. Even doing open slots in London in the mid-1990s, all the other comedians started saying “You’re not doing anything that’s like anyone else. You’re different.”’

His latest show covers subjects from Tory MP Jacob Rees-Mogg (‘a posh thug…’) to Tutankhamun. But he hopes the central personal narrative will inspire people.

‘The secret of happiness is to know that there is hope around the corner. To find out other people have had very bad depression and come out of it, is uplifting. We’re all on the path of life. I hope people seeing my show, if they’re on one particular path, it might knock them slightly into another path towards something more positive.’

Dissolve is at Underbelly’s Belly Dancer, Edinburgh Fringe, Aug 3-27, then touring, information on upcoming dates can be found: Here.

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‘When I was in a dark, depressive space, there were no ideas. There was silence. There was nothing.’