Charlotte, right, with Gail Porter (Picture: Single Homeless Project)
I opened the kitchen cupboard and couldn’t believe my eyes. There were mice eating our food.
I immediately screamed in shock – initially because these rodents were in our shared accommodation, but then because I realised, they were eating the last little bit of food I had left for my baby boy and I.
I just felt devastated, helpless and completely alone.
I was 20 years old at the time and my son was only 10 months.
I was working as a dental nurse, but with childcare costs, I was losing money every month. Then my relationship with my son’s dad ended badly and I had nowhere else to go.
We were placed in emergency accommodation alongside people struggling with alcohol and substance use issues so there were empty beer cans – and worse – all around where I was trying to cook for my small son. He had just started to learn how to walk, so he could reach all the dangerous items.
At first, we managed to stay with family and sofa-surf for a while but eventually, we had nowhere left to turn.
The council stepped in and we started bouncing around temporary housing and hostels across London. I struggle to remember how many emergency and short-term hostels we were in, but there were some that still stick in my mind today.
The first, a room, was extremely isolating. I was the only woman in the hostel and our room didn’t have a bathroom. Alone in a house full of men. I felt completely vulnerable and unsafe. ‘At least it’s a roof over my head,’ I’d remind myself.
The second was the rodent-infested one.
This time of the year is always hard for single parents
After that incident, I stormed straight down to the housing office carrying all of our stuff. ‘I’m not going back there,’ I told them, planting myself outside. At first, they looked at me like I was mad, but in the following days I was moved on to more appropriate housing with other parents. After about 18 months, I was able to get a council flat.
It was small (with two bedrooms) but it was just me and my son. A place where we could start to build a life together. Slowly decorating and collecting furniture, we stayed there for over a decade.
During this time, I retrained as a hairdresser, met a new man, had another baby, and moved into a bigger council flat – life settled down. I started a second job working as a chef supporting struggling families around healthy eating.
But in 2018, my life took a dark turn again. I had been struggling for a couple of years, but then everything just spiralled.
My relationship with my partner deteriorated dramatically. We split up, and I had to give up my chef job, as my children needed more time and support because they were struggling with everything going on.
This meant I was struggling financially – I was working hard trying to keep it together, but I was in rent arrears and was drowning in bills that I knew I couldn’t pay.
The pressure built up and it felt like the walls were closing in on me. I was at an all-time low, with undiagnosed mental health issues.
I was eventually let go by the hairdresser, so my income plummeted even further. My children moved away – with my youngest moving in with his father. I only got to see him on the weekends and our relationship struggled. I felt heartbroken.
I just burst into tears. Finally, someone was helping me
At this point, I just felt alone and worthless and I didn’t like the person I was. In the run-up to Christmas, I couldn’t see a way out and made a serious attempt at ending my life.
When you’re going through something like that, you think you’re the only one and you feel so alone. But I know now that many Londoners feel the pressure build up, particularly around Christmas time.
Thankfully, I was unsuccessful in ending my life. I found the courage to go to the council about my arrears and I just blurted everything out about what I was going through.
They put me in touch with the Single Homeless Project, a registered charity that helps Londoners who are facing homelessness. But after everything I’d gone through, I felt I couldn’t trust anyone. I ignored all their attempts to contact me.
Luckily for me, they didn’t give up. Just before Christmas Day, my new support worker, Mark, turned up on my doorstep dressed in a Christmas jumper with an armful of presents, food and Christmas crackers for me and my youngest son, who was spending that Christmas with me.
I couldn’t believe it. I just burst into tears. Finally, someone was helping me.
In the new year, Mark and Jay from Single Homeless Project made sure I got the financial support I was entitled to and found a housing association property that was right for me and my son. The property was further away from my ex-partner and nearer my brother, who was supporting me as well.
But they didn’t just sort out my life financially, they reminded me of who I was and what I could achieve. They gave me my power back. My son moved back in with me permanently. I wouldn’t be where I am today without them.
As well as helping me find a stable home, I was supported to take the next steps into independence, funding my training. Today, I’m a Level 3 qualified personal trainer and well-being coach.
I view what happened to me as a blessing now (Picture: Single Homeless Project)
I also run a women’s group, volunteer as a peer buddy and teach boxing and self-defence classes to people on the same path as me, as well as offer free haircuts at a drop-in service for people experiencing homelessness.
This time of the year is always hard for single parents. Christmas is all about the kids, so I would go without to ensure they had something. I wanted that happy family scene, but I was alone and struggling to get by.
When you’re pushed into debt, facing eviction, and making survival choices like whether to stay warm or have a meal, you feel there’s no escape. Things are tough in this expensive city.
I’m not surprised that one Londoner is forced into homelessness every 10 minutes. I feel so strongly for people going through what I went through. No one should have to live like that.
I view what happened to me as a blessing now. I can use my experiences to support and inspire others. If I can get through it, you can too. Sometimes you just need to be reminded you are strong, and that’s what I do for others now.
I’ll be spreading that message this Christmas too, volunteering to give Christmas dinners for people experiencing homelessness at Islington Town Hall. I want to make the day special for other people. Everyone deserves to have a nice time.
My advice to anyone struggling is, don’t be alone at this time of year. Use the services available, go to places where you can talk or have dinner. You’re not the only one going through these difficulties. Help is out there for you.
And if anyone reading this is keen to help someone that could be facing homelessness this winter, I’d really recommend checking out Single Homeless Project’s guide.
It has tips on everything from how to help someone in an emergency to volunteering to what to do if you’re asked for money to helping people struggling with the cost-of-living crisis.
I can’t thank them enough for what they did for me.
Find out more about the Single Homeless Project’s ‘A Home For Good’ campaign on their website here.
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