Nick Cannon paid tribute to son Zen on the anniversary of his death (Picture: WireImage)
Nick Cannon has remembered late son Zen on the one-year anniversary of his tragic death.
The Wild ‘N Out host’s son – who he shares with Alyssa Scott – died last December at five months old, following a battle with a rare brain tumor.
Taking to Instagram, the 42-year-old penned a devastating tribute to his late child.
‘Physically I’m definitely on the mend but mentally and spiritually I’m broken,’ the dad-of-11 began, after being hospitalized with pneumonia. ‘Been tossing and turning all night, and as much as I know I need rest, last night I couldn’t sleep at all.
‘I can’t believe it’s been a year already since the toughest day of my life occurred. Such a painful anniversary.
‘Losing a child has to be the heaviest, most dark and depressive experiences that I will never get over. A mixture of guilt, pain, and sorrow is what I suppress daily.
Nick shared his five-month-old son with Alyssa Scott (Picture: Instagram)
‘I am far from perfect and often fall short and make decisions in my life that many question, but anyone who knows me knows my heart.’
‘I love hard, I love big and I love with my entire heart and soul and I just wish my little man could’ve felt more of that love while he was here on Earth,’ he continued.
‘One of my spiritual leaders recently told me that I am in the midst of one of the most challenging seasons of my life, but encouraged me to be steadfast and know that all of this will only make me stronger, and to not lean on my own understanding but to rely on the the peace that surpasses all.
‘But let me tell you, it’s tough… I know a few days ago I wrote a post from my hospital bed saying I will be okay and I just needed rest so don’t waste your prayers on me but I can definitely use those prayers right now… ‘
The pair welcomed their first child together last June (Picture: Instagram)
‘Continue to peacefully rest my son, Zen Scott Cannon,’ he concluded the post. ‘We love you eternally.’
Fans and famous pals flooded Nick’s comments section with love and support on a devastating day.
‘Awe God bless you and your family RIP little Prince,’ Real Housewives of Atlanta star Kenya Moore replied.
‘Sending you love, healing & positive energy..,’ a follower said.
One commented: ‘It’s so hard. I can’t even say it gets easier because it doesn’t. You just find new ways to cope.’
‘Keep up the good work on getting stronger inside,’ another added. ‘That’s the key… Love to you all @nickcannon.’
Nick and Alyssa, who is currently pregnant with their second child together, welcomed Zen last June.
The presenter later confirmed their loss in an emotional segment of the Nick Cannon Show in December of that year, revealing their son’s health issues with Hydrocephalus – a build up of fluid in the brain.
Doctors informed the parents that they had found a malignant tumor, after which he underwent brain surgery – but his condition worsened over Thanksgiving.
Nick and Alyssa are welcoming a second child together (Picture: Getty)
His parents decided not to pursue any further invasive treatments and instead focused on making his remaining time as ‘happy’ as possible.
‘Every month we would celebrate his birthday, just really seeing it as a victory every time he had a milestone that he was still here with us,’ he told People Magazine at the time.
‘I see it as a blessing that I got to be there,’ he added of Zen’s last day. ‘Alyssa says, “I think he was just waiting for you”. We had a short time with a true angel.
‘My heart is shattered. I wish I could have done more, spent more time with him, taken more pictures. I wish I could have hugged him longer.’
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‘He was the most loving baby. I look at being his father as a great privilege.’
Nick is also dad to twins Moroccan and Monroe with Mariah Carey, and Golden, Rise and Powerful with Brittany Bell.
LaNisha Cole welcomed their first child, daughter Onyx, in September, while Bre Tiesi gave birth to son Legendary in July.
Abby De La Rosa introduced baby girl Beautiful Zeppelin Cannon last month, and also has twins Zion and Zillion with the Masked Singer host.
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Heartbreaking.
