My mate’s ditched me from her close friends on Instagram. Do I confront her?

Metro’s agony aunt Em Clarkson has her work cut out for her this week (Picture: Getty / metro.co.uk)

Metro’s agony aunt Em Clarkson is here to solve all your problems – this week she tackles friendship woes in the social media age, and how to navigate body confidence while celebrating Christmas with the family.

Dear Em, my friend has removed me from her close friends list on Instagram, do I confront her? What should I do?

Yeah ouch. This is a bit of a move on her part and it’s hard not to read into it, so I’m sorry.

But what I will say is, as petty as it feels, this is her boundary and you do need to respect it. I personally am a coward and when this happened to me (cos yes, it’s happened… twice), I’ve ignored it.

If you are braver than me (not hard), then yeah, it might be worth mentioning it. But work out what you want first. Do you want to be back in there, and if so, why? Is it because you’re really missing out on the exciting and dramatic content she uploads in there? (Unlikely.) Or is it because your feelings and ego are a bit hurt that for whatever reason you’ve been demoted, and you want to get back into a position where you’re liked by your friend again?

If it’s the latter, which it defo has been for me, then I’ve found introspection is more important than confrontation. There will have been a reason for this, most likely it’s nothing more sinister than the fact that you’ve grown apart. And that’s okay. Friendships do evolve. But if you feel it’s anything other than that and that she’s done this with the intention of hurting you, then it may well be her problem rather than yours and I wouldn’t take it personally.

When it comes to social media woes, Em Clarkson has been there (Picture: Metro.couk/Natasha Pszenicki)

It’s not your problem that she can’t communicate like a grownup, so respect the boundary, get outside, touch some grass, and see if you can get this all back into perspective again.

Dear Em, I’ve gained a lot of weight since my second baby and to be honest, I’m ok with it – it’s everyone else who seems to think I’m not. My sister-in-law makes a lot of comments which could be taken as a dig – how do I stay body confident around family members this Christmas?

I think the language in your question is SO important here… “makes a lot of comments which COULD be taken as a dig”. They could be taken as a dig, they could also NOT be. And that’s how you stay body confident this Christmas.

Judgements are a confession of character at the end of the day and all we really do is hold mirrors up to each other. Remember that every single comment someone makes about your body is simply a reflection of how they are feeling about themselves. Your happiness in your body is confronting to someone who isn’t happy in their own. Particularly given that you’ve gained weight.

I think it’s wonderful you feel good in your body and AS YOU SHOULD, you made and sustained life and that’s stunning, but that is hard for a lot of people to wrap their heads around, especially those who just aren’t as lucky as to feel as good in their own skin.

So please try not to make her comments about you. They aren’t. They are about her. They always are. And so rather than feel frustrated or angry with her for being rude, pity her instead for her the hurt in her that’s causing her to make these comments.

Sadness for someone is an easier pill to swallow than anger. And you’ve got to save some room for all the mince pies you’ve got to eat this week.

‘What should I do?’