Love Island has returned to screens for its ninth series and, honestly, I could have told you what was going to happen in the opening episode before I’d even watched it.

Airing just five months after Ekin-Su Cülcüloğlu and Davide Sanclimenti were crowned winners of the last season, a brand new bunch of 10 sexy singletons have entered the villa, giving us their best chat in their colourful VTs – and even the bathtub full of plastic balls has returned from last summer’s outing.

Once the boys had sussed out the competition, they lined themselves up for the first coupling up of the series, with beautiful girl after beautiful girl deciding which handsome hunk they would like to start the game with.

The big difference here isn’t the brand new villa or the fact that it’s airing in January, with me watching with the literal heating on, but it’s the show’s new host, Maya Jama.

The 28-year-old is the show’s third host, replacing Laura Whitmore who stepped down from hosting duties last year. Laura, 37, took over hosting duties from the show’s original presenter Caroline Flack, who died at the age of 40 midway through Laura’s first series in 2020.

Maya might just be the saving grace of this show, the only exciting thing about this series which, so far, feels completely pointless.

Love Island has returned with a pretty predictable season premiere (Picture: ITV/Vincent Dolman/REX/Shutterstock)

In fact, as day turned to night and the South African winds attacked the shivering Islanders, they looked more like they were standing around in the smoking area of a British club in the middle of winter rather than sunning it up in Cape Town.

Although, it seemed like the impact the bad weather had on the show reached the Islanders’ family and friends back home – with many viewers reporting glitches on ITV2 so bad they switched over.

There was one slight flutter of excitement from the series’ premiere in the form of hunky teacher Kai Fagan coupling up with not one, not two, but three girls before he’d even picked his bed.

The 24-year-old initially coupled up with Anna-May Robey, 20, before he was stolen from her by Olivia Hawkins, 27.

New host Maya Jama is the saving grace of this show (Picture: ITV/REX/Shutterstock)

Kai Fagan coupled up with three girls during the first episode (Picture: ITV/Shutterstock)

But, in his best audition for Destiny’s Chaldish, Kai decided he wanted to try again, stepping forward for – and eventually coupling up with – Tanyel Revan, 26.

Although the Islanders looked shocked when Maya returned to the villa for the second time in one day, telling them to ‘expect the unexpected’, viewers were less than surprised.

As Maya announced that a bombshell would be entering the villa, I couldn’t help but recall this ‘twist’ has been wheeled out at the end of the show’s opening episode every year since Tommy Fury and Curtis Pritchard made their way into the villa in 2019.

Maya was left competing with the wind as she addressed the Islanders (Picture: ITV)

In fact, viewers were able to vote for this year’s first bombshell – having the option of footballer Tom Clare or business development executive Ellie Spence.

But in yet another predictable turn of events, the public picked the footballer.

Poor Ellie didn’t get as far as having her VT shown on air before she was sent packing. Or are we supposed to act surprised when she inevitably shows up in a couple of days, too?

Tom Clare was revealed as the series’ first bombshell (Picture: Shutterstock)

Of course, I am being quite harsh towards the show and had to make a mental note to myself as I watched one contestant admit they don’t know their own star sign that it takes a few days for the Islanders to warm up.

And do you know what’s even more predictable? How hooked on this series I already am.

I’m sure it’ll only be a number of days before I’m biting my nails at tense discussions by the firepit, dropping my jaw at the Casa Amor bombshells and begging somebody to crawl across the terrace.

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Love Island, I’m always happy to see you, but I’m just not sure we need you yet.

Love Island airs nightly at 9pm on ITV2 and ITVX

It may be predictable, but we’re already hooked.