Love Island should be educating teens about healthy relationships – not normalising abusive behaviour

The show was rightly called out by viewers and specialist organisations like Refuge and Women’s Aid (Picture: ITV)

Like so many others, I can’t wait for the new season of Love Island to start tonight.

Season after season, I tune in habitually to enjoy the show. From the tense fire pit chats, to the laughs all the islanders give us, it is fantastic entertainment – although perhaps with the exception of the cringeworthy challenges.

It comes as a huge surprise to a lot of people that I’m a huge fan, though, as I am the CEO of England’s largest specialist domestic abuse organisation, Refuge.

If anything, I’ve found watching Love Island to be an excellent way to open conversations about relationships with the young adults in my family. As we watch onscreen relationships blossom, we chat about what we see and what we think of them.

Last summer, there’s no denying that we saw some worrying behaviour from contestants in the villa – gaslighting, manipulation, control issues and double standards, which no one should experience from a partner.

That is of course not to say that anyone in the villa was an abuser – but working in the violence against women and girls (VAWG) sector, the red flags from the behaviour around last year’s ‘movie night’ in particular were evident to me straight away. 

Unfortunately, not every viewer is looking out for behaviour that might amount to abuse, or can identify it easily. Some may think it harmless – but it’s far from it. It’s dangerous.

Thankfully, the show was rightly called out by viewers and specialist organisations like Refuge and Women’s Aid at the time. Now, it’s reassuring to hear that, following pressure placed on them by complaints, ITV has enhanced the training and support it is offering contestants around controlling and coercive behaviour ahead of its winter season.

When relationships are forming in the pressure cooker of the villa, it’s important that producers ensure those taking part in the show understand unhealthy behaviours to look out for in future partners. For example, accusing your partner of ‘cheating’; or overreacting and ‘blowing up’ over small issues are all behaviours that could be part of a pattern of abuse.

But ITV’s duty of care doesn’t just extend to islanders. Viewers tune in night after night to watch these new relationships unfold, and producers need to be mindful that, for many young people, it sets an example of what is and isn’t OK in a relationship.

Producers need to have their audience in mind even when they begin to build the episodes, and should be thinking about how they can make it clear when contestants are experiencing things that could amount to abuse.

This is why, at Refuge, we’ve been supporting the survivor-led Make it Mandatory campaign, which aims to get coercive control and domestic abuse onto the curriculum for every 16 to 19-year-old.

I know from conversations with young people, many of which started with them seeking my views on what they were seeing on Love Island, that a lot of them don’t feel as if they’re being taught enough about what healthy relationships look like. This leads them to seek examples in popular culture, using the behaviour shown on series like Love Island as a model.

While this can be good – island friendships have pushed contestants to call out their partner when they’re not being treated fairly, or contestants have told someone that they’re not being a good partner – there’s a real danger that unchallenged negative behaviour will become normalised. 

Abusive partners will often play mind games to make you doubt your version of events and control who you can speak to. Seeing those behaviours normalised as part of an entertainment programme is deeply dangerous for someone already experiencing abuse, reinforcing everything the abuser is saying and doing.

Online abuse is another big theme over that the show has faced scrutiny for. I welcome the decision by ITV to close contestant social media accounts for the show’s duration.

Research has found that a third of women have experienced abuse online, and this is only magnified for those in the public eye.

Now, producers and welfare teams will be working with contestants once they leave the villa to support them with this sadly all too common experience. I’m relieved that they’ve made positive steps on this but, with the level of hate directed at contestants over the years, solutions should have been developed much sooner.

Despite its obvious challenges, I believe the show has an opportunity to be a force for good. 

Love Island could lead the way in being a valuable resource for its audience by using its platform to educate and empower, while still being entertaining. The show’s producers have already made steps in this direction, and I hope they will step up for viewers and give them the tools they need to help them form healthy relationships.

With the wide appeal of Love Island, I’ve no doubt the intergenerational conversations I’m having with my family will be happening up and down the country – not just on sofas in front of the TV, but in group chats and through social media where people share posts and videos about the show.

This is a huge opportunity for us to have a conversation as a society about what a healthy relationship looks like, as well as to raise awareness of the reality and prevalence of domestic abuse.

Undoubtedly as the ups and downs of life in the villa unfold this winter, we will see comments and actions that don’t feel right. If any of those are reflected in your own relationship, or if you’re concerned about your partner’s actions, my message is that you are not alone.

Refuge is here to support you.

You can get in touch with the National Domestic Abuse Helpline 24/7 for free and confidential support via phone on 0808 2000 247 or via live chat on our website www.nationaldahelpline.org.uk.

MORE : Love Island Australia star Isabelle Green defends disturbing transphobic remarks: ‘It’s like a mental illness’

MORE : Love Island farmer Will Young admits he doesn’t have the musical talent of his namesake

MORE : Paige Thorne clarifies ‘hella b*tchy’ remarks accusing Love Island couple of ‘faking it’

Producers need to make it clear when contestants are experiencing things that could amount to abuse.