In her early 20s, “in the village” in the far west of Kenya, Jacinta Nafula became pregnant by her boyfriend. The father of her son, named Richard, went to work in the capital. She joined him there and they got married. Then, one day, he disappeared.
It wasn’t that he died; he just moved on. “He married another woman,” said this humble hair braider at a salon, who, due to unpaid rent, found herself homeless for a time. In the same tone, she added, “They live here, in Nairobi.” Once, just once, Nafula went to him for a little help, despite the “embarrassment.” “When he saw me, he ran off,” she said. Richard is now 13 and hasn’t seen his father since.
Single mother crisis
During Covid-19, a dark time for informal workers, Nafula met a church musician. “He was a man of God who didn’t drink and wasn’t going to bother me,” she said, alluding discreetly to the scourge of domestic violence. He promised her a family and a comfortable life.
He even flew her to Mombasa on the Indian Ocean. “It was when I got pregnant that I saw his true colors,” she said. Their baby, Prince, was 3 months old when the musician disappeared. Lately, he occasionally shows up at the hair salon, bringing a piece of cake and a soda to the delight of her 3-year-old son. There’s never anything more.
“Today’s men no longer want responsibility,” said Nafula, as a neighbour nodded in agreement, as she helped to translate from Swahili. In Umoja, their modest neighborhood, “there are many single mothers,” said Peninah Nguli. “Especially in her generation,” added the older woman, herself a single mother to an 18-year-old son. “Most men aren’t around.”
‘Hijacking’ patriarchy
Kenya is facing a “single parenthood crisis,” as The Standard wrote as long as seven years ago (a gender-neutral term, whose hypocrisy the article exposed, given the negligible proportion of single fathers).
In 2022, the former president of this Christian country had himself expressed alarm at the fact that single-parent families had risen from 25% to 38% in 10 years. “If unchecked, this trend shall destroy the fundamental character of Kenya and reap untold harm onto our most vulnerable and precious members of society, our children,” Uhuru Kenyatta declared in an address to the nation.
Evangelical churches have a growing influence
The phenomenon is fueled by many factors, starting with changing social norms. In Kenya 40 or 50 years ago, the father was the pillar of family life, often with multiple wives and many children. As the head of a clan, extending beyond blood ties, he represented order and ensured financial support.
In today’s more fluid, urban and liberal society, some fathers are no longer present. Sociologist Kathleen Ayako Anangwe sees this casualness as a “hijacking” of patriarchy: It’s still intact, but stripped of some responsibilities. “That’s what patriarchy does for them,” she said. “Puts them on a pedestal, even when they behave badly.”