Do you feel like you ‘know’ public figures you’ve never met? (Picture: Backgrid / Getty
The first instalment of the long-awaited Netflix documentary, Harry and Meghan, dropped today – sparking strong reactions.
Even before the intimate docuseries was announced, the couple have long drawn criticism, most notably from commentators who disapprove of their choice to step down from royal life.
Piers Morgan, one of the pair’s most vocal detractors, called them ‘Princess Pinocchio and Prince Hypocrite’ in recent tweets, while royal biographer Angela Levin accused them of lying about racism claims in an interview with TMZ.
The vitriol has spread to the general public, too. At a New York Awards show this week, hecklers shouted at Meghan Markle, claiming she was ‘destroying the Royal Family,’ and polls indicate that over half of the British public dislike the former Suits actress.
Of course there’s no requirement to like anyone, famous or otherwise. But when your emotions are so strong for someone you’ve never met that you feel the need to throw out insults, that represents an issue.
A parasocial relationship is a one-sided one, whereby somebody becomes attached to (and invested in) a media figure. Arguably worse than infatuation is when this fascination is solely negative, which we’re calling an anti-parasocial relationship.
Dr Tara Quinn-Cirillo, The Adversity Psychologist, says there are a number of reasons we might feel like we ‘know’ a celebrity, including to retreat from traumatic life or world events.
Others may use a parasocial relationship as an ‘escape from reality,’ but according to Dr Tara, ‘the boundary between healthy and enjoyable can become blurred and even detrimental.’
Social media, and the ease in which we can interact with public figures, likely also plays a part, with readily accessible information on their lives and values making us feel more connected to those we’ve never met.
‘There is evidence that those who find everyday social interactions more difficult may be more drawn to online following of people’s lives,’ says Dr Tara. ‘There may be less anxiety and comfort in this.’
She adds: ‘Those who are vulnerable to suggestion or who suffer low self-esteem may also be more likely to form parasocial relationships.’
If your dislike of a famous person is impacting your ‘real’ life, it may be time to change your habits (Picture: Getty Images/iStockphoto)
So when does general antipathy towards a media personality become an anti-parasocial relationship?
Dr Tara says that signs to look out for include spending more time online, talking a lot about a certain famous person, changing plans to follow or watch them, and ‘even observing signs of irritation and anger at the behaviour or opinion of the said celebrity – or people in their life – if they do not concur with our own view or expectations.’
Additionally, an obsession like this may interfere with ‘real life’ activities and relationships, as time, money, and energy is directed elsewhere.
When we believe information on a media personality’s life is our ‘right’, the ‘balance’ of the perceived relationship can therefore be wrong.
‘We may treat it like a real life relationship with expectations of how the relationship should function,’ says Dr Tara.
Hatred and jealousy could potentially bubble up as a result of not receiving the updates we crave, and we may then feel a sense of rejection, anger, and even low self-esteem and self worth.
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But animosity isn’t the only path – after all, the grass is greenest where you water it.
Dr Tara says: ‘Firstly we need to recognise our inappropriate disproportionate emotional responses and resulting behaviours; work on increasing valued living for ourselves…
‘We may need to re-evaluate our relationships, jobs, hobbies and interests to create more purposeful engagement in our everyday life again.’
She also recommends setting boundaries on social media to avoid temptation, such as turning off tech at nighttime and using ‘targeted time out’ each day to engage in self care rather than scrolling.
When you’re stuck in a rut, switching up your routine is always a good idea.
When was the last time you did something spontaneous or that you’d never done before? If you can’t remember, it may be time to give a new hobby a go, to ‘divert your attention in to the “now” and your own life.’
‘Move your body – walk in the fresh air,’ adds Dr Tara. ‘As simple as it may sound, it can help your overall mental health and wellbeing and reduce the likelihood of “escaping” your own life.’
While it’s natural to want to share your opinions, venomous public posts may appear unprofessional to employers and just plain nasty to some who follow you.
Harry and Meghan won’t see your catty tweets, but others will – and they’ll make their judgements on your attitude accordingly.
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When fan culture turns nasty.
