This reader got herself into quite the sticky situation (Picture: Getty/Metro.co.uk)
It’s easy to lash out when your partner does something to upset you, but this reader took some rather extreme revenge.
After her boyfriend turned up drunk at a family event, she was consoled by her cousin and his girlfriend, who invited her back to their hotel. One thing lead to another – and they ended up having a threesome.
Now, after confiding in a friend, the woman is terrified her boyfriend will find out about her, erm, family affair.
Before you go, read last week’s dilemma, where a woman was excited to get engaged – until her fiancé changed his mind.
The problem…
I’ve known my best friend since nursery school, and I really thought I could trust her with anything. But now she has told her fiancé about a wild threesome I had, and I’m terrified my boyfriend will find out.
I was on a break from my partner because he turned up drunk at my parents’ 30th anniversary party, and I was so mortified I threw him out. Everyone was very sweet and said I’d done the right thing, especially my cousin and his girlfriend, who I’ve always got on well with.
They live at the other end of the country, so had booked somewhere to stay. I felt miserable all evening, so when they invited me back to their hotel, of course I said yes. We were all drunk when we got there and carried on drinking, until I fell asleep on their double bed.
I came to because they were having noisy sex right next to me, which is something I’ve never seen before and to be honest, it turned me on. I didn’t need much persuading to join in with them, and we had a wild night of sex, which we all enjoyed.
Next morning, they had to check out by 10am. After we’d said our goodbyes, I went straight to my best friend’s flat and still buzzing with excitement, blurted it all out.
A few days later, my boyfriend came round, full of remorse for his poor behaviour. Everything had calmed down by then; I accepted his apology, and it was as though nothing had happened.
But now my friend has admitted she told her fiancé about the threesome, and said he’ll tell my boyfriend if I don’t. I’m so upset because I really thought I could trust her.
Laura says…
So, essentially, you’re saying you have two problems. You’re hurt that your best friend has broken your trust, and you’re scared your partner will find out about your three-in-a-bed.
I wonder if the taboo around this being your cousin is also contributing towards your panic. Don’t worry, it’s totally legal.
Since you hope to continue your romance, let’s deal with the boyfriend first. It seems there’s a real risk of him finding out anyway, so it looks like you’ll have to confess.
Just tell him why it happened and explain that at the point of your threesome, you felt you were unattached. Things unfolded in an unexpected way because you were drunk and vulnerable, and because you felt especially close to your cousin and his girlfriend at that time.
If you volunteer the information now, there’s a chance he may be willing to forgive you. If he doesn’t, try to be philosophical and put this episode down to experience; you had fun, don’t beat yourself up. Such quick and drastic ‘revenge’ is something of a red flag anyway. Is he really your forever partner?
Regarding your friend, let this be a lesson; if you want something to remain secret, best keep it to yourself.
Nothing stays the same forever, and don’t cling to the wreckage of either relationship. Everyone needs to forgive and forget, or move on.
Laura is a counsellor and columnist.
Got a sex and dating dilemma? To get expert advice, send your problem to Laura.Collins@metro.co.uk
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‘I didn’t need much persuading to join in with them.’