What would you do? (Picture: Getty/Metro.co.uk)
We all know that Christmas parties can lead to all kinds of wild antics – some with far greater repercussions than others.
This week, we hear from a reader who begged his wife to go to his Christmas party, but the event took a very unexpected twist when he went looking for her later in the evening.
Now he’s in a very sticky situation.
Before you go read last week’s dilemma, from a man who struggled with his wife’s low sex drive, so pursued an affair with a much younger colleague.
The problem
I’m barely speaking to my wife after she hooked up with my boss at our company’s Christmas party. I feel completely humiliated as it’s gone all round the office, and everyone seems to be having a laugh at my expense.
The annoying thing is that she didn’t want to go in the first place, and I not only persuaded her to come, I also made her dress up to the nines to create a good impression.
I felt very proud, but because she felt uncomfortable surrounded by all these strangers, so she had a couple of drinks to relax a bit. After a few glasses of wine, she seemed quite happy talking to different colleagues, so I went off and mingled.
I checked frequently to make sure she was okay, and she seemed fine. Although I noticed my boss paying her quite a bit of attention, I wasn’t too worried as he’s a fair bit older, married with children, and it never occurred to me that he would make a move on her.
Eventually, there came a point when she had disappeared, and I went looking. I finally found her on the fire escape stairs, passionately kissing my boss, who had his hand up her skirt. I pulled him off her, completely lost it with him, and immediately called a cab home.
She’s now full of remorse, but I just can’t get over it. It’s been two weeks since we had a proper conversation and the atmosphere at work has been terrible.
Laura says…
I can imagine how devastated you feel, but if your wife is genuinely apologetic, don’t let this drunken mistake ruin your marriage.
It might help if you acknowledged your responsibility, instead of just blaming your wife and boss. You were clearly using her to boost your own image, sending a ‘look what I’ve got’ message to your colleagues. Maybe this was going against the grain for her, and having one drink after another is hardly going to help someone who feels uncomfortable to begin with.
Yes, she behaved badly, and so did your boss, who frankly ought to be ashamed of himself. But alcohol loosens inhibitions, and more booze than you are used to plus an unusual amount of attention, is often a recipe for disaster at parties.
Your pride may be hurt but your boss probably feels as awkward as you do. If you really want to take things further you can try raising a workplace grievance, though you might prefer to adopt a ‘least said, soonest mended’ approach. Take your boss to one side and try to clear the air between you, before taking the nuclear option.
Although you were wronged, you share some responsibility, so sit down with your wife and have an honest talk. Both of you need to explain how you feel and apologise for your part in what happened.
We all make mistakes, so if you really love one another, use this festive period as a time to kiss and make up.
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‘The annoying thing is that she didn’t want to go in the first place.’