Caption: How to tell friends and family you love them – when you don’t usually say it
(Picture: Getty)
Three words. Eight letters.
Not so intimidating when you think of it in such simple terms, but saying ‘I love you’ can be tough.
With a romantic partner, it might come a little easier – an expected milestone at some point in the relationship.
But how does it work with family and friends?
Some people band around the phrase like it’s nothing – a sign off at the end of a phone call, for example.
But if you’re not one of those types of families or friendship groups, when do you say it? You don’t want it to seem awkward or, well, a bit weird, but you do feel it.
Well, today might just be the perfect chance to give it a go.
Psychologist, Emma Kenny tells Metro.co.uk: ‘There’s more of an expectation of intimacy with the close bonds you have at Christmas, so you could reframe the situation and say to yourself: “It’s a time for giving, so I’m going to give emotionally this year.”
‘Maybe while raising a glass of wine or sherry, you can remind the person that you care deeply for them. Say “I love you” during a toast, and bring it into the actual occasion.’
If saying the phrase aloud feels a bit much, you still have options.
‘Another option is to write it down,’ says Emma. ‘If you find it difficult to actually say it, you could put it in a card and express your sentiments that way.’
You could also use Christmas Day and the emotions that come with it as an opportunity for change.
‘If you want to start confidentially expressing yourself emotionally, you need to own your feelings,’ says Emma. ‘We’re coming up for New Year after all, so instead of holding back, just step into that reality.’
And Emma says you should try not to concern yourself with the response you might receive.
‘Don’t expect anything in return,’ says Emma. ‘Sometimes it takes people by surprise. But just allow yourself to express how you truly feel.’
You could also practice. Emma explains: ‘Practice with people that you have close relationships with and that you feel a little bit more able to express yourself to.
‘Just practice how to make it sound natural. Sometimes it’s just giving someone a hug and a kiss as you say it, or maybe when you leave as you walk out the door.
‘That’s more natural, less formal and less frightening.’
And if it feels daunting, just remember that saying ‘I love you’ is a lovely thing to do.
Emma says, ‘You’re reminding someone that they have meaning in your life.
‘You don’t always get to say ‘I love you.’ We don’t always get tomorrows. So if you do love someone, and you want to say, just remember that this might not be something that you always have the opportunity to do. Use that reality to temper those nerves.
‘Let someone know that they mean the world to you.’
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Express yourself.
