Every family has its own dynamic (Picture: Getty)
We often argue with our parents about having their ‘favourite’ child and the chaos this can cause.
But, as much as we hate to admit it, lots of us are guilty of this favouritism in a slightly different way.
If truth be told, we are often closer to certain siblings more than others – and even have ones we prefer.
Kylie Jenner recently admitted this herself, saying that Kim is her ‘favourite’ sister.
When quizzed on the topic for Vanity Fair, the mum-of-two said: ‘It changes over time. Right now it’s Kim.’
But these bonds and alliances can often leave one sibling, or more, feeling left out.
So what happens when your siblings are closer with one another and you’re not the favourite sibling?
What’s the best way to deal with this?
Experts share some things to keep in mind.
Give yourself a break
Firstly, it’s important to be kind to yourself and validate how you’re feeling.
After all, feeling left out is never nice.
Dr Elena Touroni, a consultant psychologist and co-founder of The Chelsea Psychology Clinic, says: ‘Family dynamics can be complex at the best of times. It’s only natural that some siblings will be closer than others, depending on their own unique personalities and interests. That said, it doesn’t make it any easier if you’re feeling left out.’
It’s also important to remind yourself that it says nothing about your own value as a person.
Ultimately, just like friendships, it might come down to compatibility and more shared interests.
Psychologist Emma Kenny says: ‘It’s actually really normal for a group of siblings to have preferences for particular siblings – and that comes down to the same as it does for all relationships. Some people have a higher level of compatibility, the same core values and the same interests. And, because of this, it lends itself to a more connected relationship.
‘So if your siblings expresses a preference for another (that isn’t you), acknowledge that it’s not personal, it’s about selection.
‘It’s not about you “not being good enough”, it’s more that the other person reflects a similarity and synergy that the other sibling finds easier to align themselves them.
‘It’s not that you’re not loved or cherished – it’s simply that, on a personality level, they connect more freely and more easily.’
Know things change over time
Kylie says Kim is her ‘favourite’ sister (Picture: Phillip Faraone/Getty Images)
As we get older, we change – and this can affect our various relationships.
The friends we are close with at school are not always the ones we cherish as adults.
While we can’t pick our family, these relationships work in a similar way, explains Emma.
She says: ‘Everything changes over time – so a sibling you might be really close to when you’re young, can actually move through life and start to create connections with other siblings in the family.
‘It’s transitional. What can be strong now as a connection can become weak as people move through life.
‘So the reality is that your turn may well come and vice versa.’
More: Lifestyle
Make a change
If you want to build a better connection with your siblings, talk to them and let them know how you’re feeling, explains Dr Elena.
She says: ‘Suggest spending quality time together and try getting to know them on a deeper level. You may even discover that they feel the same.’
Also Emma adds it might be time to take a closer look at your relationship and hold yourself accountable, if necessary.
She explains: ‘Often people have alliances and allegiances with people who make an effort with them. So, as opposed to seeing as a detriment, it might just be that other siblings put in more effort.’
If you think you might be guilty of this, make an extra effort to be involved in the activities your siblings enjoy. Also, find out what’s important to them to try and connect long-term.
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Just like Kylie Jenner, lots of us have a ‘favourite’ sibling.
