What do you think? (Picture: Getty)
There are a few faux pas when it comes to wedding speeches: using an ex’s name, embarrassing the couple with risqué stories, or having a bit too much Dutch courage beforehand and fumbling your lines.
Most people would see a throwaway comment about technology as a harmless addition to a toast. But, apparently not.
Posting to the Am I The Asshole Reddit forum, a woman shared how she was bridesmaid at a close friend’s wedding, and wrote a ‘heartfelt’ speech for the occasion.
Having met the bride in college in an advanced computer science class, she decided to add in a small joke about AI platform ChatGPT – a decision that didn’t go down well with everyone.
As guests began a round of applause, the bridesmaid quipped that her words were all ‘written by ChatGPT’. She had checked with the bride beforehand and they’d laughed about the rise in AI-generated wedding speeches, but the mother-of-the-groom felt otherwise.
The groom later approached the bridesmaid to say his mum didn’t understand the reference because she ‘doesn’t really get technology,’ which was followed by a failed attempt at clarification from the bridesmaid.
The joke caused tension between the bride and her mother-in-law (Picture: Getty Images/iStockphoto)
She explained: ‘The groom’s mother then rounded on me and asked me why the bride would make me a bridesmaid if I was so lazy as not to write my own speech.
‘I was shocked and told her I had written the speech but that it was an inside joke between the bride and me (and other techies in the audience) that ChatGPT was incapable of writing such a personal speech.
‘She got really riled up and told me that she knows AI can now do writing work and that I was just lazy I couldn’t be bothered to do my own writing for a friend’s wedding and it “inappropriate”.’
Although the mother-in-law stated nobody was at fault for the offence caused, she ‘made it a big deal’ to her son’s new wife, calling her friends lazy and souring the atmosphere between them.
Wedding speech expert tips
According to Hitched, these overdone phrases can make a speech seem impersonal:
‘I’m so happy for you two.’
‘You’re perfect for each other.’
‘I’ve never seen two people so in love.’
‘I’m so proud of you both.’
‘I can’t wait to see what the future holds for you.’
‘Make each other laugh.’
‘Never take each other for granted.’
‘Always be there for each other.’
‘Communicate openly and honestly.’
‘Work through your problems together.’
‘Never go to bed angry.’
‘Always remember why you fell in love.’
‘Celebrate your love every day.’
‘Make your marriage a priority.’
‘Never give up on each other.’
‘Your love is an inspiration to us all.’
‘We are so lucky to have you in our lives.’
‘Congratulations on your wedding day!’
‘May your love last a lifetime.’
‘Cheers to the happy couple!’
Wedding speech expert Heidi Ellert-McDermott also recommends keeping your speech to around three minutes (roughly 500 words), including plenty of personal anecdotes, and memorising your lines so you aren’t reading from a phone.
The poster wanted to know if she was in the wrong for making the joke, or for any unintentional issues between the family. However, the vast majority of commenters urged her not to feel guilty.
‘You didn’t make “an offensive joke,” you made an innocuous joke, approved by the bride, that her MIL chose to take offense to,’ said one person, while another wrote: ‘I feel bad for your friend, her MIL sounds exhausting.’
Alongside numerous NTA (not the asshole) judgments, a third Redditor added: ‘MIL’s choice to remove herself from the rest of the world is not the world’s obligation to make sure every word that comes out of our mouths is catering to her willful ignorance.’
Overall, the advice was for the bridesmaid to move on from the drama, but to check in on her newlywed friend to ensure she’s managing amid the awkwardness.
‘Groom is a mama’s boy who didn’t even talk to his new wife about it. Your friend is going to have huge mommy issues with her now husband,’ commented one user.
‘I doubt this marriage will last long. Please be there for your friend.’
Who knew a misunderstanding about intelligent robotics could be so heated?!
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A seemingly-innocuous joke didn’t pay off.