For the next few weeks, Metro.co.uk will be speaking to reality TV fan favourites about what time on their show was like – and how things have changed now they’re Back to Reality. First up… Kieran Tompsett from The Traitors

In November, going to lunch with my boss was a normal experience. We’d chat business, eat, and then head back to the office. 

Within a month, that had all changed.

Leaving a meeting with him in December, a bunch of school girls ran across the road to ask me for a photo. 

My boss thought it was mad – and I was right there with him. My life has drastically changed over the past year and it still feels very surreal. 

I suppose I should have expected it after my ‘parting gift’.

Until last year, I’d never imagined being on reality TV. I definitely thought I was too old at 42, and too married, for the big ones, like Love Island. 

However, the premise of The Traitors – a murder mystery type show based on people betraying each other –  definitely caught my attention. 

And the more I found out – especially when it came to their passion for diverse lineup – I knew I wanted in. 

The whole casting process took months. I had no idea if I was definitely going to be on the show. They were constantly whittling down the numbers until they reached that final 22. 

During that time, I couldn’t tell anyone except close family members and friends. In that way, it felt like the mission started before Claudia Winkelman announced it. 

My wife was supportive, and aside from a few friends saying things like ‘at your age?’, the reactions were positive. 

I only had two concerns. One, that I’d look like a fool – which I ultimately did at the beginning of the show but that then came good. Two, my job. 

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In those four months between submitting my application and being picked, I was headhunted for a new job as a consultant for a document management company. 

It was partly why I thought I’d be good for  The Traitors: I’m pretty good at solving issues on the company level, why not a murder mystery? 

I got the casting green light around the same time I accepted the job offer – but I couldn’t tell my new boss that I was going to be on TV. 

The Traitors was a life-changing experience (Picture: BBC/Studio Lambert Associates/Mark Mainz)

It was like a military operation. I had to lie, say I had annual leave booked, and ask to push back my start date by a week. I didn’t think I’d win, so I assumed that would be enough time. 

They were fine with it, which was a relief.

Work worries aside, I was feeling every emotion. I’d only found out I’d been selected a matter of days before flying to Scotland where they filmed the show, so I didn’t really have time to consider how it had the potential to change my life. 

And what a life-changing experience it was – even though I had a shocking start! 

I’d literally had eight minutes at the castle before I was banished by Claudia for predicting that I was unlikely to win. And booted off. Walking down that driveway, I was absolutely devastated. 

Amos and I were brought back in episode during the church challenge (Picture: BBC/Studio Lambert Associates/Llara Plaza)

It was the most embarrassing moment of my entire life. Worse, I knew I was going to have to relive it when it aired. 

I made sure to take the day after the first episode off work. I’m glad I did because I was busy that day: busy being ripped to shreds. 

I had so many people message me to say: ‘You’ve been giving it the big I am about being on TV and you were only on it for eight minutes.’ 

The worst part is that fellow contestant Amos, who was also banished in the first episode, and I had to go along with it because we couldn’t spoil the surprise – that we were going to return a week later.

The last challenge was one of my absolute favourites (Picture: PA)

During that time, I got very used to saying things like: ‘Yeah, it was disappointing’, ‘I was gutted’, ‘We tried our best’. 

Thankfully, producers told Amos and I half an hour after our exit that we were being brought back. I couldn’t contain my excitement. The car was shaking from side to side, with us in the back seat celebrating and jumping up and down.

But being sent back into the fray days later wasn’t so easy. Amos and I had no idea what had happened in between. When we’d left, everyone had been all happy families, but now things had kicked up a gear. 

Viewers thought we had an advantage, but we really didn’t. The rest of the group had built bonds and got to know each other; they’d been able to get used to the castle, cameras and mics. 

At least three people are a lot richer – even if I’m not one of them (Picture: BBC/Studio Lambert Associates/Paul Chappells)

Worst of all, they thought at least one of us was a traitor. We could hear them whispering about it. I’m glad the show kept us safe for 24 hours by exempting us from being banished or eliminated. 

After that first day, things went well for me. I was never mentioned at the roundtable and the traitors never thought about killing me. I was the first to clock Amanda after she’d spent so long under the radar. 

It honestly felt like I was on track to take home the money with the other faithfuls at my side. I was so close to changing my life. 

And then Wilf decided to convert me into a traitor to work alongside him. It was a gut punch, but I had no choice. 

But he had played such a blinder of a game that I thought we could maybe win this thing together – until he backstabbed me, by convincing the others to banish me. 

I wasn’t just going to take that lying down. I could have walked away and let them go to the wolves, but you can’t have a goodie without a baddie (it’s up to you to decide who I am). 

We all know what happens next. 

I only decided I was going to plant a seed about Wilf’s true identity 30 minutes before the roundtable, and those words only came to me as I was sitting there. I had to be really careful what I said within the parameters of the rules.

It was like a grenade drop, and the rest was down to them. If they didn’t get it after that, then they were on their own. 

As I left, I could hear them saying: ‘What does he mean by a parting gift?’. That was a great feeling. I felt guilty for throwing Wilf under the bus – but only for a minute. 

Plus, I still didn’t know what happened next until the episode aired. 

Although I didn’t win the money, I think I won in other ways. You have to think of the greater good – and at least three people are a lot richer. It was an epic end to an epic show. 

After the final scenes aired, I actually had Rylan Clark message me on Instagram saying it was one of the best reality TV moments he’d ever seen. I replied saying: ‘Nearly as good as yours’, before he fired back, ‘Nearly’. I loved it. 

But after I left, I was so ready to just walk through my front door and have a cuddle with my wife and two kids, who are two and five. It was hard not having won the money, but it felt good to be home.

I returned on a Thursday and the next day I popped into the office to have a meeting with my boss to talk about my excitement for my role, which started the following Monday. 

My first day was great and getting stuck into a new job was a much-needed distraction. In the evenings and quiet moments, however, things were harder. I would think about what I could have done differently. 

I was mentally and emotionally drained, and it took me three weeks to recover.

Eventually, I got back into the swing of life, all the while waiting six months for the show to come out. All of us were apprehensive and we debated about how well it was actually going to do. 

As much as I knew Traitors was something special, I thought it might just do OK. Maybe, it would gain a niche but cult following. 

I certainly wasn’t expecting overnight success, but I gained 9,000 followers while I slept after the finale. 

Playing the game, thinking about it after, and then watching it back are three different experiences. Now, I got to see what other people said about me. It brought back a lot of raw feelings and emotions. 

But I know now that I played a good game. I kept friends close and a traitor closer and I remained true to who I was. 

I’m glad that’s the Kieran people have seen – and so many people have.

I love how invested viewers have been but don’t get me started on the full blown arguments I see online about ‘parting gift’. Despite what Twitter commentators think, it wasn’t cheating! 

Traitors could accuse other Traitors (like Wilf with Alyssa and Amanda), but you couldn’t say, ‘Wilf is a Traitor and I know this because I am also a Traitor’. That’s breaching the code. 

You can plant seeds. You can use psychological warfare. And that’s what I did. 

Even though the internet is up in arms about it, me and Wilf are absolutely fine. He texted me the day after the show and we’re friends now. He doesn’t hold a grudge, I don’t hold a grudge. 

Offline, things are a lot less tense. 

But I do a lot of presentations and meetings with external clients. That’s when I get a lot of: ‘Are you Kieran from The Traitors?’. It’s a great ice breaker, even if they do grill me afterwards. 

Out and about, I’m asked for selfies – in Tesco, Simmons, garages! If not that, I get a lot of passers by doing double takes. 

The thing is, it’s lovely. I will always give everyone the time of day. It doesn’t take anything for me to stop and have a conversation, and I really relish getting to be able to do that. 

I want to remain grounded and remember exactly where I come from. 

At the moment, I’m taking it day by day but it is a bit crazy. I went to DragCon with Amanda and there were people waiting three and a half hours to meet us. We were getting mobbed just walking through the exhibition. 

All of us on the show are embracing it; we’re all positive people and just really thankful for what we’ve been given. I think it’s made easier as we’re not your Instagram body perfect bunch – we’re just regular people – and that’s what made Traitors so beautiful. 

The whole experience has given me a new lease on life. I used to be a DJ and I’m hoping to perform sets again now that my kids are slightly older, if my wife lets me go and do some of that! 

I’ve always been passionate about martial arts and boxing, so I’m getting back into the swing with those sports, and I’d love to do some acting and presenting. 

A lot of people have said I give off EastEnders villain vibes, which I would love. We could have another soap star in The Traitors family, alongside Maddy.

I could see myself playing a baddie. I think it’s down to my array of coats – I love them – and especially my trench in the finale. It wasn’t intentional, it’s just my favourite jacket, but now I realise I was channelling Columbo. 

I wouldn’t say getting back to reality is a comedown. In fact, I feel like I’ve got a new spring in my step. 

I’m excited for the opportunities that are coming my way, and hopefully you’ll see me on your screens again. 

You can catch up on the Traitors UK on BBC iPlayer. The Traitors US airs on BBC Three and is also available on iPlayer.

Do you have a story you’d like to share? Get in touch by emailing [email protected]. 

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I made sure to take the day after the first episode off work. I’m glad I did because I was busy that day: busy being ripped to shreds.