There’s a hack that’s resurfaced, currently doing the rounds on TikTok, where you pour basic vodka through a water filter to eliminate the impurity burn.

Because when it often comes to the spirit, I’m getting notes of…paint stripper, battery acid and razor blades. Ooh, actually, razor blades scribbled over with Sharpie ink, then dipped in battery acid and covered in paint stripper.

For the love of the Bloody Mary, what makes cheap vodka taste so rough? Let’s get into it.

First of all, low-end vodka is usually made from poorer-quality materials like molasses, soya beans, rice or potatoes, while the more expensive stuff comes from wheat, corn or rye.

More importantly though, vodka works on the process of distillation followed by filtration, the more times, the purer the spirit. The price depends on the level of purity, the smoother it goes down, the less offensive it is. And yes, vodka can be over-distilled, making it taste rough and acidic, so it’s a finely balanced art.

What is vodka anyway?

Essentially, it’s water and ethanol, made from fermenting the base ingredient, distilling then filtering it, but there are compounds lurking in it called ‘conjoiners’ that make the end spirit impure.

Many production plants use activated carbon and its micropores to sift out unwanted chemical compounds in vodka, like esters, aldehydes, methanol, acetates and acetic acid, the impurities that give the budget stuff the sensation of something clawing its way down your throat, like swallowing Edward Scissorhands against his will.

Back to the hack, when you consider that a Brita filter is basically a home version of the charcoal-activated industrial filter at the production plant, it starts to make sense.

I mean, the water filter is basically made up of a mesh screen to remove visible particles and a carbon block to get rid of chlorine and other unwanted flavours. Genius.

Or it would be, if it was only the filtration and not the distillation process that actually made vodka taste smoother.

Higher-end vodka brands tend to distil their vodka multiple times, you may have heard the term ‘triple distilled’, with the vodka becoming smoother with each distillation.

Some even distil their vodka over 10 times, even over diamonds at the bougie end of the scale. Not only that, but the size of the still used to distil the vodka has a massive impact on the purity, the larger the still, the more contact between the alcohol and the heat.

Ok, but listen, I’ve tried the Brita hack and the formerly mouth-stabbing spirit tastes like sugar water after going through the filter, so there must be something going on.

There is, and although the flavour can be improved dramatically by removing the contaminants via Brita filtration, just to manage expectations, it’s not going to transform Billy-basic vodka into Grey Goose in the process.

All in the name of science. You’re welcome.