The world’s largest social fundraising platform, GoFundMe, said it has seen an increase in the number of campaigns relating to the cost of living crisis (Pictures: Supplied)

‘I hate having to ask people for money, but I don’t know what else to do.’

‘We can’t afford to have the heating on.’

‘It’s a difficult time but we know others are also struggling.’

These are just some of the kinds of things people are writing on personal fundraising pages seen across the internet this Christmas.

GoFundMe – the world’s largest social fundraising platform – said it has seen an increase in the number of campaigns launched relating to the cost of living this year, with the amount expected to grow as the UK faces a difficult winter ahead.

‘I had to turn to crowdfunding because there was no other option,’ Melanie More, 28, told Metro.co.uk.

‘I got Covid in September when I was teaching at a school in Glasgow, and I got steadily sicker – and never recovered.’

Melanie, who lives in Stonehouse, South Lanarkshire, was diagnosed with Long Covid and ME – also known as chronic fatigue syndrome – a few months later.

She has now reached the point where she requires a power wheelchair, as she’s no longer able to push herself along on a manual chair or control a mobility scooter.

Melanie More, 28, would love to be able to walk her beloved golden retriever, Jura, again (Picture: Supplied)

‘I’ve gone from teaching languages to I now can’t read a book anymore in English, or anything longer than an email,’ she said.

‘I can’t process instructions, I can’t drive, I can’t cook, I can’t shower standing up, I can’t regulate my own temperature, I have chronic pain and really intense fatigue, and I can’t walk or stand for more than a few minutes.’

Having previously been healthy and able-bodied with a love of yoga, swimming and dog walking, Melanie said she ‘never realised how expensive mobility aids were’ until she needed one.

Despite only being able to walk for a very short time, Melanie is considered an ‘ambulatory’ user and can therefore only get a very limited wheelchair on the NHS.

There was no way we could afford it ourselves

A sole reliance on her husband and now-carer Magnus for their household income, combined with the cost of living crisis, left her turning to GoFundMe to help her ‘get her independence back’ and defeat what she calls ‘a disability tax’.

‘There was no way we could afford it ourselves, the price of mobility equipment is horrendous,’ she said. ‘This wheelchair costs more money than we’ve ever spent on a car.

‘I’m so isolated, stuck in the house, I cannot use this mobility scooter anymore because of the pain. I can’t walk for more than two or three minutes at a time – I’m trapped.’

Melanie, pictured here with husband Magnus, wants to get some of her independence back through the use of a power wheelchair (Picture: Supplied)

Although her target initially felt ‘so unreachable’, within a few days Melanie’s fundraising total shot up to more than £12,500. She has now ordered her power wheelchair and expects it to be delivered from Denmark by the end of January.

‘The generosity of people absolutely blew us away, especially when they’re going through a difficult time,’ Melanie added, sounding choked up. ‘It makes me so emotional to think about.’

She said she felt ‘guilty’ that other people may have ‘a much more worthy cause’ than her own.

People are choosing between heating and eating

‘I was really hesitant to do it because we’re in a cost of living crisis and I know how worried people are about finances, including people in my life,’ Melanie said. ‘People are choosing between eating and heating their homes.

‘It’s also just a very vulnerable thing to do. It took a lot of encouragement… but I did it and I never expected it to go the way it did.

‘I’m fortunate that it worked out for me, but so many people’s stories don’t turn out like mine.’

And it seems many others also feel vulnerable speaking about their situations. Metro.co.uk reached out to dozens of other people who have set up fundraising campaigns, with the help of communications officers at GoFundMe, yet mostly never heard back or lost contact after a few emails.

Within a few days Melanie’s fundraising total reached more than £12,500 and she has now bought the perfect wheelchair she so desperately needs (Picture: Supplied)

Emma Moseley set up a GoFundMe page on behalf of her work colleague Allison Wharam, 48, who has recently been diagnosed with likely incurable secondary cancer but is ‘a very private person’.

‘She’s a person who always helps others, and given she’s had some quite serious health conditions from a very young age that have affected her financially, she does deserve this support right now,’ Emma, who is 43 and lives in the Midlands, told Metro.co.uk.

‘The idea of this was just to help her through a really difficult time and give her one less thing to worry about.

She has had an outpouring of love

‘GoFundMe is a really good vehicle to allow people to offer help without Allison having to accept it. It takes away all of the difficult feelings that arise when we accept help from other people, especially when we’ve fought to be independent throughout our lives despite the adversity we’ve experienced.’

Allison, who also has angina, heart failure and diabetes, returned to work earlier this year after she was deemed to be in remission from breast cancer. But doctors have since found a cancerous tumour on her spine, and she is worried about her statutory sick pay coming to an end.

Emma Moseley, 43, set up a GoFundMe page to help her work colleague through a difficult time (Picture: Supplied)

‘It’s really upsetting we have someone who is professional, has worked her whole life despite everything that’s happened to her, yet may not be able to heat her home without this support,’ Emma added.

But she said the fundraiser has brought a number of positives, with the target of £5,000 being beaten by more than £1,000.

‘She’s had an outpouring of love – not just financially, people have offered lots of support and care that has meant the world to Allison,’ said Emma.

‘The impact of the help has been phenomenal actually, so when we first got some quite big donations, we were tearful, happy and laughing all rolled into one.

People should reach out if they need to

‘We weren’t expecting such a response, and what’s telling is she said she “won’t have to worry about having her heating on”.

‘I would encourage people who are experiencing difficulties to reach out. People do care, and people do want to help even if someone isn’t part of their close network. And I think that people will help where they can.’

John Coventry, who is vice president of international for GoFundMe, said the fundraising platform often ‘holds up a mirror to what’s going on more widely in society’.

‘I think it’s heart-breaking to see some of these stories but also quite powerful to see people standing up and helping, and something that is important to hang on to,’ he told Metro.co.uk.

Allison Wharam, 48, has angina, heart failure and diabetes and has recently been diagnosed with secondary cancer, which is likely to be incurable (Picture: Supplied)

‘Naturally when we have busy periods of intense need, like in the pandemic, there’s a desire for people to give, but there are a lot of people who are desperate to help, which is where GoFundMe comes into its own.

‘I think there’s a key point here about the psychology of giving – with this kind of giving it’s as much about the emotional support and solidarity as the utility of the money.

‘The emotional benefit to both the beneficiary and the donor is really high, you’re giving as much with your heart as you are with your head sometimes.’

There is power in asking for help

He explained how safety teams and software rigorously check the campaigns are legitimate. The money is sent straight to the person the page is set up on behalf of, and photo ID must be provided to withdraw any money.

John, who has worked for GoFundMe for almost six years, added the platform guarantees it will refund any misuse of money from its own pocket – which happens ‘in less than 1% of cases’.

He said there is ‘power’ in asking for help, adding: ‘There’s shame at first but then this shame turns into this incredible transfer – not just financially but emotionally.

‘Someone was desperate and took that step, mostly for their families, but what that person considers weakness turns into incredible strength and you can see that journey happen.’

Crispin Flintoff, from Oxford, told of how he set up a fundraiser for someone he met online who was ‘at rock bottom’ after the death of a close relative, the loss of his job and the break-up of his relationship in close succession.

‘There was no other way around this, there was no other way of helping him,’ said the 52-year-old events promoter.

People would rather kill themselves than ask for help

‘He can’t go out with a hat and ask for money. He said he doesn’t like asking for help, so you kind of have to do it for him. There are people who don’t want to accept help and would kill themselves rather than do so.

‘If someone hasn’t got the spirit to just say “I need help” they will either die because they’ve got no food, or they’re cold, or they’ll kill themselves.

‘If you’ve been there where you’ve had a horrible situation happen to you, you empathise and you want to help them get out of the depression.’

At one point Crispin’s friend, who lives in Lincolnshire, only had £10 for heating and feared eviction as he was in rent arrears while he waited for his Universal Credit claim to go through.

Crispin Flintoff, 52, set up a fundraising page for someone he met online who was ‘at rock bottom’ (Picture: Supplied)

But when the fundraiser soared past £5,000, Crispin said his friend’s ‘whole outlook changed’.

‘It wasn’t just the money, but the fact people cared about him enough to do that, he was in a much better place,’ he added.

‘The fundraiser has been as good for his spirit of mind as for his finances. There is a sense of solidarity among people which isn’t expected at the present moment.

‘I think the society we’ve got is seen as if we’re all out for ourselves – or only care about ourselves – but in reality, there’s a lot of love and compassion which isn’t being expressed enough by politicians, and people who could do better, like councils and so on.

He’s going to become a stronger person for it

‘It’s sad that the system is so unhelpful but normal people are actually very generous and supportive.

‘I think he’s going to become a stronger person for it, and hopefully this will save him from a bleak existence.’

Donations made through GoFundMe are usually considered to be personal gifts which aren’t generally taxed as income.

The government said it provided £37 billion of support in 2022 targeted at those most in need, with the most vulnerable households receiving at least £1,200 to help with the cost of living. Every household in the UK is also entitled to £400 towards energy bills.

John from GoFundMe added: ‘You’ve got politicians on one end making grand statements, but we’re seeing is the real, “hard yards” of what people are putting up with.

‘People are saying they need to put food on the table for their kids, making sure they have school uniforms, need to make sure they can heat their homes, and afford basic Christmas presents and something for lunch.’

Asked if people are experiencing ‘giving fatigue’ at this time of year, he said: ‘Because of the way GoFundMe works – it’s very specifically about giving money to one person, it’s very immediate, very story-based, very needs-based – my hypothesis is that people are giving in a different way to say, charity.

‘They are giving to someone they either know or is a friend of friend, or a friend of a colleague or their auntie’s neighbour, and they know their £10 will have an immediate impact on that person’s life.’

Jonathan Cook, who has worked in the charity sector for 25 years and runs leading specialist consultancy Insight-ful, said people turning to platforms like GoFundMe is a ‘reasonably logical destination looking at the market’.

‘People in the UK have become a bit more demanding about where their money goes, they like to know it’s going to have a real impact,’ he explained. ‘I wonder if this is a way of making sure their donation goes specifically to somebody in real need.’

He said donating to people in need often tends to be anonymous, for example, to food banks, but more recently those struggling are ‘prepared to name themselves publicly’.

But he warned people like the elderly who are less able to use the internet may be left behind, with the huge number of fundraising pages creating a ‘beauty contest of poverty – as terrible as that may sound’.

Melanie previously told Metro.co.uk of her ‘guilt’ and said she was worried someone else would be more worthy of receiving money than her (Picture: Supplied)

‘What makes a person more of less worthy of receiving donations than anyone else?’ he asked.

‘The idea that this is something we really need to do in 2022 in a western country is absolutely shocking.

‘The only comparison I can make, and this is a horrible comparison, that this is potentially as humiliating as begging on the streets.

It’s going to be a tough winter, but people do want to help

‘I wonder if people will view online fundraising that way – I think psychologically it is the same thing – it’s basically digital begging. I don’t want to belittle anyone when I say that, but it’s just heart-breaking.’

John from GoFundMe concluded that although he would prefer people ‘didn’t have to come to our platform to raise money for energy bills, we will work tirelessly to help people when they need it’.

‘It’s going to be a tough winter for a lot of people, but there are also a lot of people who are willing to help, and I think that will be the thing in the darker times that adds a little bit of light,’ he said.

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‘I don’t want to have to ask people for money. People are choosing between eating and heating their homes.’