Announcing a pregnancy can often change family dynamics (Picture: Getty Images)

Pregnancy announcements, baby showers and gender reveals are all becoming huge milestones in a couple’s pregnancy journey.

But while sharing this special news with loved ones can be a magical experience, it can invite a lot of stress.

Once people know there’s a bun in the oven, they’re often keen to give their opinions on what type of birth to have, how to parent, what to eat, and so on.

Mother-in-laws can become overbearing, thinking they know what’s best for your child during (and after) pregnancy, and relatives can inadvertently invade your privacy with a misguided desire to ‘help out’.

These experiences can make carrying your baby more stressful than enjoyable, so we spoke to Dr Belynder Walia, psychotherapist for Serene Lifestyles about how to deal with any issues.

Take things with a pinch of salt

A lot of people – whether they’ve experienced motherhood or not – will want to give you advice.

Belynder tells Metro.co.uk: ‘Most people want to share their advice when they hear of pregnancy news, even though they know that pregnancy is an individual and unique experience.

‘The best way to deal with people who force opinions of how to parent or cope with the pregnancy is to, first and foremost, be calm. Don’t feel you have to defend yourself or your beliefs.’

She also recommends not taking unasked-for opinions personally, as it’s often just part of certain people’s nature to offer unsolicited ‘advice’.

‘Take their opinions with a pinch of salt and pick out the valuable parts of the conversation,’ says Belynder.

‘Also, learn not to listen. Zoning out of other people’s views that serve no purpose is essential, especially if you feel sensitive and know from previous experience that their words trigger you with anxiety. Avoid them.’

Defer to the experts

You never ever have to justify how you are managing and experiencing your pregnancy. Even if it’s your first baby.

Belynder says: ‘By nature, human beings are a curious species, and when there is a physical change in a person’s body, they invite themselves to assess, share their thoughts and even judge.

‘And when pregnant, they question your judgement, especially if you are pregnant for the first time.

‘If you decide to do things your way during pregnancy and as a newbie parent or even an experienced one, allow people to have their opinions and do things the way you feel comfortable anyway.’

Sharing the news should be a happy experience and not a stressful one (Picture: Getty Images)

For moment when you feel pressured to defend why you’re doing things a certain way, though, here’s some advice.

‘If you must justify your actions, thoughts and beliefs, then blame the experts,’ says Belynder. ‘Using words such as, “an expert advised me to….” is sometimes enough.’

She continues: ‘Be frank with those you know you can cope and deal with the pregnancy or parenting, and send those who don’t really know you packing.

‘It’s important to be firm about things that are important to you. Your mental, emotional and physical health is your priority, not the words and judgement of others. The only person whose words should matter is your own.’

Set healthy boundaries

‘Setting healthy boundaries is essential,’ says Belynder.

‘However, other people can make themselves quite overbearing when they think they are only trying to help – and when a person has to deal with family matters and extended family dynamics, things can become complicated.

‘But this is where you should take a firm stance.’

Although someone breaking a boundary you’ve set creates awkwardness, you have to power through any tension and stand your ground.

Additionally, if you’ve become so used to behaviour like this because it’s a regular occurrence, don’t just opt for saying nothing ‘for a quiet life.’

What you and your partner want for the baby is the most important thing (Picture: Getty Images)

Do, however, positively reinforce the parts of their role you are excited for so they feel valued.

Belynder adds: ‘Focus on the good parts, remind them of their role and what you will expect of them if they want to be a part of [your child’s] life and the joy they will gain for being a part of their life.

‘Put the attention on them, without asking for any favours, but just taking on what is relevant. Of course, if their judgement is critical, be firm and let them know it is up to you and your partner to do things the way you feel is best.’

It’s all about communication

‘Everyone loves the news of a new arrival in a family, community or friendship group, and most have the courtesy to give the baby’s family time to adjust to the new arrival,’ says Belynder.

‘But unfortunately, some people occasionally show up unannounced, making the mother feel quite stressed as she may feel guilty for not managing entertaining her guest or again judgement of her lifestyle or motherhood.’

Unambiguous communication is a must here, so loved ones are directly told if you’re too tired for visitors or worried the house is in disarray.

And, while your pregnancy is about you first and foremost, you must remember to be kind with people’s feelings.

Remember that you can’t please everyone (Picture: Getty Images/EyeEm)

Belynder adds: ‘Always speak to people the way you wish to be spoken to when expressing your thoughts if you are unhappy with something.

‘If you’re relaxed about how you represent yourself or your lifestyle, remain optimistic by not giving notice or attention to what they may think about your hosting skills…

‘Navigate yourself by practising setting boundaries, especially if you find this type of communication challenging. The only way you’ll get good at doing this is through practice.’

You can’t please everyone

‘Family dynamics vary, and from a cultural perspective, it can be quite a contest when the mother doesn’t have a say in who she wants by her side during the birth of her baby,’ says Belynder.

‘In some countries, this can also be challenging; for example, it is unacceptable to have males present when a woman is to give birth.

Try to stay confident in your choices and express them honestly. Then, if people are still unhappy, it’s quite frankly not your problem.

Belynder explains: ‘If you understand, in life, generally, we can’t please everyone; some are bound to be disappointed, then know that you have to please yourself.

‘You’re the one doing all the hard work! If you don’t give people a choice, those around you will have to respect your wishes because that is exactly what you deserve during the process. Respect!’

Prioritise your baby

The wellbeing of your baby and yourself is key to having a positive pregnancy and birth experience, so do your best to keep this in mind.

Belynder says: ‘Being judged can negatively impact nurturing and care for your baby if you allow it to affect you.

‘If you are tired, stressed, or anxious due to what others will say or think, your performance in breastfeeding and other daily chores will become more of a challenge.

‘Stress and anxiety can make a new mother exhausted. Any emotional ailment can.’

Remind your family of the roles your excited for them to have (Picture: Getty Images/RooM RF)

Her advice to any mother is to ‘avoid toxic people.’

‘If you are in an extended family dynamic, do what feels right for you and in the baby’s interest,’ says Beynder. ‘Remember the analogy “put the oxygen mask on yourself first”.’

Joining a support group or community can also provide a positive space for expressing your feelings away from family dynamics and guilt.

‘When you voice out concerns, you’ll be surprised how many people have been in similar situations and have great advice to share on managing the issue,’ adds Belynder.

‘Talk to friends you know will support you, or any professional you know will best guide you on handling anything negatively affecting you.’

Do you have a story to share?

Get in touch by emailing [email protected].

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From overbearing mother-in-laws to invasions of your privacy – being pregnant can be stressful.