IVF is a challenging process (Picture: getty / rex)

Last week, Jennifer Aniston revealed she underwent IVF treatment due to ongoing fertility issues and has described the time as being ‘really hard’.

She’s certainly not the only person to find the process challenging, and it’s so powerful to see her discussing this so openly.

‘Jennifer Aniston has talked about her IVF journey for the first time and it’s good that she’s admitted there can be freedom at the end of the process if you don’t manage to have a baby,’ says Meg Thomas, fertility coach and podcast host who helps women navigate the IVF journey.

A yoga and meditation teacher and coach for over eight years, Meg has been trying to conceive for five years with multiple rounds of IVF.

‘I know from personal experience how disempowering the IVF journey can be and how important it is to get the emotional support you need,’ she says.

Here she gives her advice on how to support yourself before, during and after your IVF journey.

Line up your support group

IVF can be gruelling and can take its toll. It’s good to know what the process is beforehand and to take note of when you need people on hand to support you.

For example, there are a couple of waiting periods – one when you wait to see if you have created a healthy embryo and then later, waiting to hear if you’re pregnant.

You need to know who it is you can call with your messiest, most broken-hearted self.

Tell your inner circle what you need

Whether it be a coach, a therapist, or a friend, tell them what you need ahead of time. You may want a friend to be your ‘believing mirror’ to tell you that conceiving a baby is possible in those waiting periods because the more cycles you do, the harder it can be to believe that it’s going to work for you.

When you will be feeling vulnerable and need support, try this sentence: ‘I just need to talk this out and I don’t need you to fix anything, can you just listen to me?’ Then, just allow yourself to vent.

Create an emotional first aid action list

Make a list of 10 things to do when you’re feeling sad or anxious or stressed. Maybe it’s journaling, a float in a floatation tank or a walk in nature?

Prepare ahead because when your hormones are raging, it’s hard to be creative about what you might need to do to make yourself feel better.

Connect with empathetic friends

Jennifer Aniston chose to keep her IVF journey a secret, which is healthy and can protect you but on the other hand it can fuel feelings of shame – feelings that you are not worthy of having a child or that you’re broken. Shame feeds off secrecy, silence and judgement.

Empathy is the antidote. We need to connect with people who have empathy – those who know how it feels to be vulnerable, disappointed or heartbroken.

Empathetic people can make you feel connected to humanity. Shame keeps you disconnected.

Feel your feelings

A wave of strong emotion only lasts for 90 seconds so it’s better to feel your emotions rather than try to numb them with alcohol, food or a Netflix binge.

The first step is to recognise what you’re feeling. Where are you feeling it in your body? Rather than just saying ‘angry’, look for nuances, is it envy, despair, fury? Naming how you feel is very empowering. Feel it all.

Allow the space to acknowledge what it is you’re feeling and then move it through your body. For some this looks like talk therapy, yoga, walking in nature, crying, meditating, running, and so on. Feel it, name it, and move it.

Let IVF teach you

The IVF process will teach you life skills – how to use your voice, how to speak up to a doctor, you will learn how to follow your intuition, how to listen to your body and to advocate for yourself.

Listen to your intuition

Your inner voice will guide you every step of the way if you let it.

If your intuition tells you to stop scrolling on social media because seeing all your friends’ baby pictures are making you sad, then listen to it, stop scrolling. If your intuition tells you to switch fertility clinics, switch. If your intuition tells you to question that super long list of meds, ask your questions.

Create a grieving ceremony

If you decide to end your IVF journey without conceiving a baby, allow yourself to grieve the loss of the dream of how you thought you would become a mother. The only way to move through it is to truly allow yourself to feel it. Create some sort of ceremony, such as writing a letter, and then burning it where you can acknowledge the journey that you’ve been on, and let it go.

Do you have a story to share?

Get in touch by emailing [email protected].

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