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    Woman forced to pick between her partner or her dog

    Picture of by David Spangler
    by David Spangler
    • October 24, 2023

    The dog has to go (Picture: Getty)

    It’s me or the dog.

    A punchline at the end the rubbish jokes perhaps, but this is the reality for one woman posting on Mumsnet.

    She’s shares how her cat-owning boyfriend was fine with her getting a puppy to add to their shared home, but now the two pets aren’t getting along, he’s blaming her.

    Posting anonymously, she said: ‘He always knew I wanted a dog the moment I had a garden though and was never against it, he just admitted he will always be a cat person and his cat will probably stay favourite.

    ‘He was on board during the whole process, etc. we ended up adopting a puppy that had been in foster here after living in a Spanish rescue.

    ‘Lovely dog who is now 10 months and only 6kg, so very small. He used to sleep with the cat and now does nothing but chase it and if he grabs her, takes fur out, etc. he’s blaming me, saying I never did training around cats but yet there was 0 issues until this last month where I’m trying but not sure what to do.

    ‘His cat now hides almost all the time but does come out when it needs food, etc. he wants me to have the dog on a lead at all times and I’ve explained that’s completely not feasible at this stage and he said I should have done that from day 1.’

    Now he’s given an ultimatum, that he’ll move out if the difficult rescue pup isn’t on a lead all of the time.

    ‘We have only just quite recently bought, so it’s going to be a nightmare,’ she added.

    ‘I’m not entirely sure what I can do, I’m trying to train him the leave it command (he’s fine when it’s good or things, but not so effective with the cat but I’m obviously working on it) I always try to get his engagement when he sees the cat but he doesn’t engage until he is done chasing it, etc.

    ‘I do feel it’s just a bit of a natural behaviour and there’s nothing more I can do really, which is winding him up the most but then is only offering solutions that would be cruel to the rescue.’

    People in the comments thread think both parties are in the wrong – but agree that the cat needs to be protected.

    One person wrote: ‘In my view you are

    Please view this post in your web browser to complete the quiz.

    , the cat was there first. [I] would be looking at rehoming the dog to keep the cat safe.’

    Another said: ‘You’ve both got an animal and if the animals can’t live together and you won’t rehome them then you’ll have to live separately. He’s right that the cat shouldn’t live being constantly attacked and traumatised. You have to keep them separate if you can’t manage the behaviour.’

    Others agreed ‘the current situation sounds intolerable’ and many suggest they either live separately, or rehome the dog.

    ‘You need to either limit the dog to a couple of rooms and let the cat have the rest of its house back, or you need to move out,’ someone added.

    ‘TBH I think you are both being unreasonable. Unreasonable in that you have made 2 pets the centre of your separate worlds,’ another comment reads.

    ‘There is not room in the relationship for everything and your work/careers.
    Get rid of the pets and concentrate on each other because that is what really matters. Sort out the priorities between 2 people first.’

    Can cats and dogs live together?

    Dogs Trust says: ‘Many dogs can live peacefully with cats, often forming a close relationship where they can even sleep together and clean each other. But this is not always the case – not all dogs and cats can live together.

    Some cats may be very nervous of dogs, and even a calm dog may scare your cat so much that their welfare is compromised. Likewise, there are some dogs whose predatory drive is so strong they cannot safely be left with cats at all.’

    To try and make it work, they suggest:

    do scent swapping
    create individual areas
    use physical barriers
    go at the cat’s pace

    Do you have a story to share?

    Get in touch by emailing MetroLifestyleTeam@Metro.co.uk.


    MORE : You’re not a cat lover if you’re encouraging this disgusting trend

    One has to go. 

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