I thought we’d have more sex this way, but it backfired (Picture: Getty/Metro.co.uk)
Welcome to How I Do It, the series in which we give you a seven-day sneak peek into the sex life of a stranger.
This week we hear from Rose*, a 24-year-old writer who has been in a heterosexual relationship for just over a year but describes her sex life as ‘up and down’.
Rose says: ‘My partner Jack* can be quite affected by a lack of sleep or exercise and when he’s not feeling it, I find that our bedroom antics can suffer massively.
‘I’d like my sex life to be, honestly, more frequent. I’m a 24-year-old woman and feel like I’m more often in the mood than my 31-year-old boyfriend.
‘I can find this difficult a lot of the time – being an emotional person as it is – because it can leave me feeling insecure or unwanted if I find we haven’t been intimate for some time or less than usual.’
When Rose’s parents decided to go away on a trip, Jack moved in with her temporarily to house sit for a week, and Rose was keen to see if this would result in them having more sex – but it seemed to backfire, especially when an uninvited guest arrived.
So without further ado here’s how she got on this week…
The following sex diary is, as you might imagine, not safe for work.
Monday
Jack has moved in with me to keep me company. I’ve been excited but also nervous about this as it means we have more time to be intimate, but also more opportunities to argue.
I’m hoping there is more sex but it seems to be up and down at the moment. If we’re going through a ‘bad time’ in our relationship, sex drops on his list of priorities, but maybe living together will be a positive thing for us.
Saying that, today is a sexless day. I can’t say I’m surprised as we wake up together. He never gives himself long to get ready for work, which means definitely no time to pay attention to me.
I work from home so I greet him when he comes back from his day on the job, but his gym schedule, making dinner and sorting the pets out means there is no time for sex today.
Tuesday
Jack works four day weeks while I work six days and it’s affected our relationship due to me being so stressed and tired. So, when he’s off and I’m working it really frustrates me.
Today he’s off while I’m sitting at the kitchen table typing, and I can’t help but resent him slightly. I find myself snapping at him because there’s so much housework to do and I know he’ll sit on the sofa and leave it for me to do after working an eight-hour shift.
Despite this, I still find him immensely attractive and hope he gives me the signal at any point with heated eyes. I even say I’m really in the mood but nothing happens.
I feel rejected in a way, even though he explains to me that sometimes his ‘head is all over the place’ and sex is the last thing on his mind. But still, I’m sure I’m not the only girl to feel insecure when our partners aren’t all over us.
Wednesday
After a quick cuddle in bed, Jack goes to work while I have a lie in. I already can’t wait for him to get back home.
We text back and forth throughout the day about how much I want him and I say I want to have sex tonight. He doesn’t object joking: ‘I’ve probably got it in me.’
I finish work earlier than Jack and head to the gym, skipping cardio because I’ll be doing that later.
I expect to have sex once we’re ready for bed that evening, but as I carry some washing up the stairs I see he’s on the bed and he only has to look at me for me to know what’s happening.
We haven’t had sex that passionately in a few weeks and there are plenty of positions and moaning involved. I thoroughly enjoy myself and finish myself off with my vibrator out while he helps.
Thursday
Despite having sex yesterday, I wake up as horny as ever and remind Jack today is our last evening living in my house together, meaning it’s our last chance to have loud sex. He raises his eyebrows when I tell him but I hold out hope for later.
At lunch I sneak off to sort myself out with my vibrator but as soon as Jack returns home I can’t help but be all over him. He doesn’t seem to be in the mood, so I worry we won’t repeat last night.
But once we’re in bed having a snuggle, he turns over to me, grabs my face and starts kissing me passionately. That’s what I love about having sex with him – I feel a strong emotional connection, which is important to me.
It doesn’t take long for his hands to wander down to more intimate parts and before I know it I’m on top of him. I catch him looking at us in the mirror behind which just turns me on even more.
Friday
This morning is our last chance to be alone together before Jack moves back to his house tomorrow, but both of us have work early which leaves no time for a quickie.
I’m disappointed but know that, tomorrow being my birthday, I will inevitably have birthday sex.
Jack stays at his this evening so I pull my vibrator out the drawer and play with myself. I picture him in my mind, imagining the great sex we’ve had over the last week.
Saturday
I’m officially 24 today, and I find birthdays stressful but I already know Jack has booked us a night away – which is what he did last year too. I love having sex in a hotel room and like to pretend I’m in one of those rom coms where everything is so much sexier when you’re away in a different city.
But this morning isn’t going to plan. Jack is late getting to my house and 30 minutes after setting off, a warning light comes up on his dashboard so we find ourselves pulled over on the M6. We carry on before stopping at a service station more than an hour away from home because Jack doesn’t feel safe driving the car.
We don’t have a clue how to fix the car so we head home and I cry on the way about how much I hate birthdays – whilst trying my hardest to not sound like a spoiled brat.
In an attempt to save my birthday we go out for a meal and meet some friends for drinks, before walking home in -3°C temperatures. Instead of having hot drunk sex together, I get upset when I reflect on this disaster of a day, ruining any chances of getting it on before my birthday is over.
Sunday
I have beer fear waking up today and quickly tell Jack how sorry I am for freaking out. He reassures me it’s okay and we will rearrange our night away which puts my mind at ease.
I bring up the subject that we didn’t have birthday sex and that I’d like to ‘book in’ with him later on and he doesn’t object.
We decide to head to the shop for ingredients to make breakfast so I hop out of bed but the sight of my naked body is enough to get him in the mood. He wastes no time telling me how turned on he is, saying we should ‘have a quickie’ before heading out.
It is passionate, sweaty and sexy. Thank God we don’t have a marathon session though because Jack gets a text from his mum who is bringing my birthday present round. At this point we are still naked and catching our breath.
He asks if she can come later but she’s en-route and I’m half-dressed when I hear a knock at the door. Jack dives into the bathroom and asks me to answer it. I open the door and see my mother-in-law there, gift bag in hand – I just hope she didn’t notice my rosy cheeks and bird’s nest on my head.
Overall this week hasn’t made much difference to our sex life. We actually have more sex when we aren’t living together – probably because we don’t get on each others’ nerves as much. Maybe having sex two or three times a week is our norm.
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I want my sex life to be more frequent.
