Why can’t I pass on unwanted presents to another couple who may appreciate them more? (Picture: GETTY)
Wedding planner and venue owner Alison Rios McCrone helps solve your dilemmas, no matter how big or small, in a weekly agony aunt column.
Hi Alison,
Last year, my husband and I were married and it was the best day of my life. I have a large family and was the first of my equally big friendship group to get married.
Everyone was so generous, and we received so many gifts, from vouchers for meals out to hotel stays to champagne. Almost 18 months on from my big day, we’ve barely made a dent in what we received.
Now, however, so many of my friends are following my lead in tying the knot, with several weddings in the next few months and I’m getting worried about the amount of money on present I’ll have to spend.
But I need your advice on what I think is the perfect solution, but which others have considered unacceptable – regifting!
I’m not much of a drinker and my husband works away, so hotel stays, restaurant vouchers and alcohol aren’t much used to us. But with so many weddings upcoming and a cost-of-living crisis, I think it is an ideal chance to pass them on to happy couples while making a saving.
I’ll make sure no-one gets their own gift back, and I think it does seem more personal than money.
However when I mentioned it to my mum and some other friends, they accused me of being a cheapskate, not caring about other people’s weddings, and said I would offend the bride and groom with my regifted presents rather than put a smile on their faces.
I was taken aback, as I thought regifting was pretty normal and it would be a great way to ensure no presents go to waste.
Am I in the right? Or should I just bite the bullet and buy more presents?
Thanks,
Ruth
Do you have a wedding problem you need some advice on?
Weddings are joyful occasions – but they can also be incredibly stressful. Whether you’re a bride or groom, best woman or man, family member or friend of the couple, the run up to the big day can be tense.
Alison, who has run a venue for 10 years and assists couples with wedding planning, is here to offer a helping hand.
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Dear Ruth,
Getting married really is the best day of your life. But these events can be costly too so I completely understand your concern about the number of upcoming weddings and the financial strain it might put you under.
As such, the idea of regifting is not uncommon. But it is essential to acknowledge that not everyone sees regifting the same way.
While some may appreciate the practicality and thoughtfulness, as you have seen by your mum and friends’ reactions, others may feel differently. And sadly it’s up to you to gauge that.
Gift giving should always be more about the thought and consideration that suits each couple, than the present itself.
If a couple specifically asks for something or requests cash donations towards a life experience, I would suit their needs rather than choose to regift.
Just be sure you’re always passing the present on for the right reasons (Picture: AKP Branding Stories)
However, for those with no specific wishlist it can be difficult to know where to start – especially if they have already set up a home together and have everything they need. In this instance, regifting could be a good option and when done with care, it can be a practical solution all round.
If you decide to regift, be selective. Hotel stays, restaurant vouchers, and alcohol can be great choices, but be cautious with more personal gifts that may carry sentimental value.
Your idea of passing on gifts that do not quite suit your lifestyle to couples who may appreciate them more, for example, is definitely a consideration.
Though I would argue that, as your husband works away, using the hotel vouchers and restaurant vouchers for yourselves as a special treat will be a much better use than regifting.
Just be sure you’re always passing the present on for the right reasons and not just to rid yourself of the clutter.
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Tailor the regifted items to suit their preferences as much as possible and take the time to repackage the gifts nicely. A well-wrapped present can make a significant difference in how it is received. Perhaps include a heartfelt note of why you chose that particular gift for them for an extra personal touch.
And always ensure the items are still in good condition and, more importantly, take care not to give someone their own gift back while making sure the chosen present aligns with the happy couple’s preferences and needs.
Ultimately, your intentions are good, and you want to ensure that no gift goes to waste. However, it is essential to be mindful of how others might perceive regifting, and you really want to avoid offending anyone, especially on their wedding day.
If you sense some friends might not appreciate it, buying a more modest but thoughtful gift that will not strain your budget could be worth considering. Purchase something during sales and special events like Black Friday and you could find a great gift at a bargain price.
Remember, every couple is different, and what matters most is the thought and care you put into your gesture.
Best wishes,
Alison
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Make sure no-one gets their own gift back.