Are these traits ringing any bells? (Picture: HBO/Getty)
Every family has its own drama – but some have more than others.
With Succession back on our screens today, we’re reunited with one of TV’s most chaotic families.
With so many different personalities in one tight-knit group, it can be hard to know how to navigate various situations.
Perhaps you can relate to having a distant or frosty parental figure? Or a Shiv-like sibling who puts their career and ambition above everything else?
Alternatively, maybe you have a Roman-style ‘hot mess’ relative who makes poor life choices, or a cocky Kendall-type in the family who always makes things difficult.
If some of these traits feel all-too-familiar to you, counsellor Georgina Sturmer from Counselling Directory has offered up some tips on how to deal with ‘the Roys’ in your own family.
Logan Roy, the cold parent
Is your parental figure stand-offish? (Picture: Home Box Office)
It’s only natural to want to seek love and affection from our parents or caregivers – so how do we cope when this isn’t given to us?
Georgina says it’s important to notice how you behave around them. Are you trying to please them in the hope they’ll show you love? Or do you act cold and distant to protect yourself from rejection?
She suggests three things that may help you cope with a cold parent better.
Georgina says: ‘Acknowledge that people show affection in different ways. Look for more subtle cues that indicate how they feel about you.
‘Be realistic – if we expect other people to change then we may end up feeling disappointed.
‘Also, be curious and compassionate towards them. If someone comes across as “cold” it’s likely that they don’t have the tools to show or share their emotions.’
Kendall Roy, the one you can’t trust
Sketchy (Picture: HBO)
‘We might hope that we can trust our family members, but this isn’t always the case,’ says Georgina.
‘And it has an impact in our wider relationships. If someone in our immediate family breaks our trust, this can make us feel wary of trusting others.’
The first step is to notice how you’re feeling around this family member, explains Georgina. Then to act on this.
She adds: ‘Consider what boundaries you need to put in place. Now that you’ve recognised that someone isn’t trustworthy, how do you want to respond next time?
‘Then manage your boundaries. When they are tested, how can you feel strong enough to say “no” to a family member. Are there particular issues that might trigger you or make you feel guilty for not trusting them?’
Siobhan Roy, the family member whose ambition comes first
Success looks different to everyone (Picture: Home Box Office)
Ambition is certainly not a bad thing – but the lengths people go to achieve it can sometimes be problematic.
Georgina says: ‘Ambition can be a powerful driver for success, but it’s tough when you feel like someone would tread on your toes to get where they want to be.’
Firstly, she suggests noticing whether their ambition has an impact on how you see yourself – and if you’re comparing your life choices to theirs. If so, remind yourself that success means different things for different people.
She says: ‘Be curious about whether their ambition and achievements are making them happy.
‘Sometimes when we see people who are ambitious to the detriment of everything else in their lives, it’s worth wondering what they might be trying to prove, and whether they will ever feel satisfied.’
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Roman Roy, the ‘hot mess’
Do you have a sibling that makes poor life choices? (Picture: HBO)
Georgina points out that when we see someone who is all over the place, or making poor life choices, we don’t all react in the same way.
For some, the instinct is to ‘rescue them’ – while others may simply want to avoid them.
Georgina adds that if you feel yourself wanting to ‘rescue’ them, ask yourself some key questions: what is it that I’m trying to achieve? Am I just rushing in to fix everything for them?
Instead, it might be more helpful to step back and offer them support to find their own solutions.
She adds: ‘If their behaviour is pushing you away, notice why you are feeling uncomfortable. Maybe you’re frustrated, angry, or perhaps embarrassed. See if you can look at them from a compassionate angle, it sounds like they need support.
‘It also might be a good idea to help them to seek support if they need it – but encourage them to take the first steps if they can.’
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This fictional chaos is a reality for many.
