Explain why elopement was a meaningful choice and why you kept it intimate (Picture: Getty)
Dear Alison,
Last week, my partner of 10 years and I eloped. It was just us and two close friends. We got married at our local registry office, the two of us went out for dinner at our favourite restaurant, and splurged on a fancy hotel for the night.
It was perfection.
We did not, however, tell the rest of our friends and family that we were getting married. We’ve been engaged for a couple of years, so they’ve all got a bit fed up of asking when it’s going to happen – which is why we felt like it was the right time to commit to eloping, something we’ve both always wanted.
It’s not like we don’t love our friends and family, we just wanted it to be about us.
Do you have any suggestions for how we should tell them without burning bridges? I’m particularly worried about our parents’ reactions.
Thanks,
Poppy
We have seen a surge in elopements and tiny intimate weddings (Picture: AKP Branding Stories)
Dear Poppy,
Congratulations on your marriage.
Everybody has a different idea about what they want for their wedding day.
Your wedding day sounds lovely, and it must have given you time to focus and celebrate your love for each other more intimately.
Sharing the news with your friends and family can be a delicate process, but remember that your feelings and choices are valid.
Take time to reflect on why you chose to elope. Understand and articulate the reasons behind your decision, so you can explain it thoughtfully to others.
Being honest and sensitive in how you announce your news is so important.
It might be a good idea to arrange to meet up with the parents first and tell them. This way, they are the first to know and can give you a chance to explain.
Then choose a time to sit down with close family and friends to share your news. Express you appreciate their understanding as you share something personal and important.
Let them know how much you love and value them and how vital their support is to you. Please acknowledge that you understand they may have been looking forward to a more traditional wedding but emphasise the personal significance of your elopement.
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Describe your elopement experience. Explain why it was a meaningful choice and why you kept it intimate. Help them understand the reasons behind your decision and how you celebrated your relationship in a way that felt authentic to you.
Covid changed the landscape of all weddings, and now anything goes as far as weddings are concerned. Big or small, weekends, midweek, twilight, and elopements mean that for many, it will not be a surprise to hear your news.
At our venue, particularly over the last three years, we have seen a surge in elopements and tiny intimate weddings. All take place for various reasons, but most importantly, it is what the couple wants for their special day.
Consider planning a separate celebration or reception where you can gather with your friends and family to celebrate your marriage, like an evening party.
This can allow them to share your happiness in a less formal setting and help create new memories. Consider roping in your parents if you are concerned about their reaction. It will help them feel involved in some part of your celebrations.
The ultimate point is to approach any conversation with love, respect, and a genuine desire to maintain strong relationships with your family and friends. While some might need time to adjust, your sincerity and thoughtfulness will go a long way to preventing any bridges from being burned.
People will have a range of emotions when they hear your news. Some may be excited, others surprised, or some hurt. Allow them the space to process their feelings and express their thoughts.
It may take time for some of your loved ones to understand your news. You have to be patient and give them the space to process the information.
Your happiness and commitment to each other truly matters, and genuine relationships will find a way to endure and grow stronger.
Best wishes as you share your special news and start your new adventure as a married couple.
Alison
Do you have a wedding problem you need some advice on?
Weddings are joyful occasions – but they’re also incredibly stressful. Whether you’re a bride or groom, best woman or man, family member or friend of the couple, the run up to the big day can be very tense.
If you need a bit of help with your quandary, Alison, who has run a venue for 10 years and helps couples plan weddings, is here to offer a helping hand.
Email [email protected] to share your issue anonymously with Alison and get it solved.
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Last week, my partner of 10 years and I eloped. It was just us and two close friends.
