Woman reveals devastating impact of little-known disorder

While some may feel irritable or moody around their menstrual cycle, Kim Cormack, 36, feels like a totally different person

Usually, she is bubbly and chatty with a zest for living life, but in the days and weeks leading up to her period, she struggled to recognise the person she was becoming.

“I’d just be so depressed and crying all of the time, and angry,” Kim explains.

It took multiple years of being misunderstood and misdiagnosed before a friend’s search on the internet found the answers she had been looking for.

She has premenstrual dysphoric disorder (PMDD), a complex condition which Kim says almost claimed her life.

“The last time it got really, really bad, I actually snuck out of the house at 10 o’clock at night. It was raining and I went to one of the local parks and just sat in the dark. I had a pocket full of sleeping tablets,” says Kim, describing a time when her PMDD symptoms felt so debilitating, she wanted to end her own life.

“I find it hard to describe how I felt and what was going through my mind, because it didn’t feel like me,” she adds.

One in 20 women affected

PMDD is described as being a severe form of premenstrual syndrome, thought to be linked to heightened sensitivity to hormonal changes which occur during the menstrual cycle.

Despite affecting around one in 20 women in the UK, PMDD was only officially recognised by the World Health Organisation in 2019.

Symptoms can last up to three weeks of the monthly cycle leading up to a period.

The impact of the condition varies, but many will struggle with anger, anxiety and depression, which is so severe, it has a devastating impact on all aspects of their lives.

“So I quit my job,” explains Kim. “I also ended my relationship… it has affected my social life for sure. I don’t go out as much, I have to be around people that I really, really trust.”

“This thing has hijacked my mind and makes these decisions, and it makes you so vulnerable as a person,” adds Kim.

According to a global study commissioned by the International Association for Premenstrual Disorders (IAPMD) and published in BMC Psychiatry, of the 599 people surveyed with PMDD, 72% experienced active suicidal ideation at some point, while 34% had attempted suicide.

Dr Hannah Short, a GP and specialist in menopause and premenstrual disorders, says she has seen “a number of women” who have tried to take their lives “due to their severe PMDD”.

“Sometimes this has been when they’ve not really understood what’s been going on,” Dr Short says.

“It’s important that we do raise awareness of the links to the menstrual cycle and make young girls and women aware that it’s not normal to have those feelings in the build-up to your period,” she adds.

But it is a condition also misunderstood by those in the medical field, meaning support may not always be in reach.

Raising awareness of the misunderstood condition

This, says Phoebe Williams, is why she set up The PMDD project, a charity only created in the last year to raise awareness and train professionals.

“It’s debilitating, it can be classed as a disability, yet there is no awareness out there. Therefore, we are not receiving the support that we deserve. That’s why the stats for suicide are so high,” explains Phoebe.

She says: “The government do need to take this seriously. They need to recognise it as a serious condition.”

Treatment for PMDD varies, but it is usually helped with medicines and talking therapies.

A spokesperson for the Department for Health and Social Care said: “It is totally unacceptable that women are not getting the care they need and that their voices are not being heard.

“That is why we are reforming women’s healthcare, placing women’s equality at the heart of our agenda, and ensuring women’s health is never again neglected.

“This government is also ensuring mental health gets the same focus as physical health by investing £26m in new mental health crisis centres, providing funding for 380,000 additional talking therapy appointments and recruiting 8,500 mental health workers.”

Kim is doing what she can as a trustee of The PMDD project to raise awareness of the condition, in the hope it may save the lives of other women struggling with symptoms.

Since getting a diagnosis, she has seen brighter days and is learning how to live with PMDD with the help of medical professionals.

Her treatment includes undergoing a chemically induced menopause with side effects that need to be managed with daily doses of medication.

Thinking about womb removal

For now, she is managing, but in future she may have to consider an even more difficult decision: living life without a womb.

“It’s always been on the cards that I might need to have a hysterectomy,” explains Kim, but says it is not a decision she would be taking lightly.

She admits: “There have been thoughts in my head, where I am like, ‘am I going to be a full woman? How am I going to feel? Am I going to hate myself further down the line for making this choice?’

“But I know it has to come back to: ‘I am alive’, that’s what it has to be.”

“It is a difficult decision, but I am looking forward to my life without this; maybe I can start enjoying my life again,” she concludes.

Anyone feeling emotionally distressed should seek professional medical advice