Amanda* has sex three times a week on average (Picture: Getty)
Welcome to How I Do It, the series in which we give you a seven-day sneak peek into the sex life of a stranger.
This week we hear from Amanda*, a 51-year-old personal trainer who turned to Tinder and began having the best sex of her life following a sexless decade-long relationship.
After meeting her partner of five years, James, on the dating app, Amanda says her ‘life was transformed’ and she’s got a pretty high sex drive – she loves the sex she’s having, she just wants more.
But with two children each from previous relationships and living apart, finding the time for it isn’t easy – although Amanda does have sex three times a week on average.
Amanda says: ‘We schedule weekends together and during that time sex is the number one priority. During the week, my partner works hard and has a lot of early starts so we’ll maybe only spend one or two nights together.
‘If we’re too tired for sex, we don’t stress, but when we’re together we’ll always be in bed by 9pm for a chat and a cuddle that often leads to more.’
So without further ado, here’s how she got on this week…
The following sex diary is, as you might imagine, not safe for work.
Monday
I wake up tired after the weekend and get the kids to school, then I head to the gym for a weights class. My mind tends to wander towards sex when the boredom of counting reps kicks in.
The weekend was amazing. Although James and I have been together for five years, we don’t live together and I think that’s what keeps things exciting. We met on Tinder and found out we were compatible pretty quickly.
At first I was worried that although the sex was good, it might be too vanilla for me, but we talked about it and he mentioned there were some things he’d like to try – so I bought him some ropes and a spanking paddle. He got the hang of it very quickly and now we’re up for anything, as long as it’s just between the two of us.
At the weekend, James gave me a surprise present, which turned out to be nipple clamps and a collar. I was happy to give them a go and was very surprised to find out I loved the feel of them– and it led to some very hot sex, bent over the sofa.
Tonight couldn’t be more different: it’s just me at home with a hot water bottle and I fall asleep after catching up on The Traitors.
Tuesday
I’m booked in for a bikini wax today and I love the feeling afterwards. It would be a shame to waste it, so I Whatsapp James to let him know. This always works, and despite him having to be up at 5am tomorrow, he suggests coming over and bringing dinner.
We love to do little things like bring each other a cup of tea in the morning and share batch cook dinners – it’s a really good way to show you care, so I find it surprisingly sexy.
After dinner we can’t wait to get into bed and both my teenagers are watching Netflix in their rooms so we sneak upstairs at 8.30. He starts to go down on me, but I’m not relaxed enough so we end up falling asleep.
Wednesday
We wake up at 5.30am, both still horny and I can feel James is hard when he moves in for a cuddle. We start touching each other and end up having sex lying side-by-side.
Morning sex is something we both love and although I don’t have an orgasm it gives me something to think about all day.
By lunchtime, it’s still on my mind, so when I have a spare half hour I get my vibrator out and watch porn on my phone so I can have a quick orgasm. Watching porn together has helped us open up about what we like and I’ve been watching it on my own for years.
I go through stages where I need a lot of sex, usually when I’m seeing James more often, but when he goes away on a work trip I don’t think about it so much – except when I start looking forward to him coming home.
It’s another early night for me and I’m already looking forward to the weekend when we’ll have more time together as my kids are at their dad’s. We try to plan our diaries so we can spend as much time together as we can.
Thursday
Thursdays are pretty much the start of the weekend for us – we have a takeaway round at mine and always end up getting a bit horny.
We’re in bed by 10pm and James suggests watching Netflix, so I know he’s tired after a week of early starts. But then he tells me he’s working from home tomorrow.
I’ve got plans for the day, but we realise we have 45 minutes in the morning, so I decide to go round to his flat. Sometimes we have to schedule things down to the minute, but we always make the effort to get together.
Friday
I’m still in my gym gear when I get round to James’ flat and he’s made me a cup of tea and put it by my side of the bed. Instant horn! We’re kissing and I don’t even have time to get undressed when I get on top of him.
It’s my favourite position and I haven’t had an orgasm all week, so it doesn’t take me long. I feel completely different afterwards – so relaxed and relieved – and he gets so turned on he comes too.
Lots of things make me feel sexy and I want sex more than I did 10 years ago. I think it’s a combination of getting the right balance of HRT, making time for exercise and being with someone who I trust enough to ask for anything I need.
If we’ve had sex in the day we’re often too tired to do it again at night and we’re both fine with that. Sometimes sleep is more important, and after a few glasses of wine on a Friday night we drop off straightaway.
Saturday
We wake up at James’ flat after sleeping until 10.30. I’m heading out to lunch with some friends later and he’s going to pick up his son, so we spend an hour chatting in bed, drinking tea and kissing.
I love this time and I feel very lucky to have it. Meeting someone on Tinder at this age seemed unlikely and I think we were both looking to see who was out there, but after our first date we were surprised at how much we have in common.
I’ve had a lot of therapy over the last few years to get rid of my bad relationship patterns and it works – this one is totally different. We’re honest about what we want, we’re happy to do things like separate holidays (I’ll have a long weekend in Barcelona while he goes skiing) and we’re planning our future together.
My married friends think I’m brave to start a new relationship over 50, but why not? I think having our own lives – and houses – gives us the space we need.
I spend the evening with James and his teenage son and we share a pizza and talk about gaming (which I know nothing about) before falling asleep watching Match of the Day. Not the most exciting evening, but I love it.
Sunday
I wake up early to go to the gym but neither of us feels like getting out of bed, so we have slow sex instead. We know we’ll be too busy to see each other over the next few days, so we make the most of it.
James knows I like it rough sometimes and he always senses when I’m feeling a bit kinky, so there’s some Sunday morning spanking and then I hold him down while we both climax.
We’re tempted to fall asleep straight afterwards, but rather boringly I’ve got to go and do the weekly food shop before my kids come home from their dad’s, so I’m out the door and back to my very non-sexy daily life.
I don’t mind though, because I know we’ll get together in the week and it’ll be amazing.
How I Do It:
In Metro.co.uk’s How I Do It you get a sneak peek into a week of a person’s sex and love life – from vanilla love-making to fetishes, threesomes and polyamorous relationships, they reveal it all.
Fancy taking part yourself? Email [email protected] for more information.
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I bought him some ropes and a spanking paddle.
