John Lydon’s wife Nora Foster died this spring following an Alzheimer’s diagnosis (Picture: Noam Galai/Getty Images for Tribeca Film Festival)
John Lydon has been sleeping next to his late wife’s ashes since her death earlier this year.
The Sex Pistols star, 67, announced in April that his long-time partner Nora Foster had died at the age of 80 after being diagnosed with Alzheimer’s in 2018.
John was married to his wife for over five decades and had recently become her full-time carer.
Following his tragic loss, the punk legend has admitted it’s been ‘much harder than he thought’ to come to terms with.
In a new interview, the singer opened up, telling The Times: ‘I thought I would be able to handle this side of it, but it is, if anything, worse.
‘I like to sleep with Nora’s ashes in the cupboard next to the bed because there is no expectancy of meeting her in this life again. And if there is a hereafter…’
The couple were married for 46 years (Picture: Fin Costello/Redferns)
He added: ‘Some of them rules I haven’t been following could prove a problem. It doesn’t bode well!’
However, John insists he doesn’t want people to ‘pity’ him, as his mum and dad ‘wouldn’t tolerate it.’
He also pointed out that many other people ‘go through far worse’.
On his relationship with his late wife, John continued: ‘Nora and I argued a great deal but the arguments were so stunning that they made life worthwhile, and we were always honest and open about everything.’
He added heartbreakingly: ‘Now I don’t have anyone to share my life with.’
John insists he doesn’t want ‘pity’ (Picture: Jon Furniss/WireImage)
The Public Image Ltd. frontman got to play the band’s new album for Foster before he died, recalling how she ‘used to squeal and bounce her hand up and down the whole way through’ as she listened.
But, there was one tune she wasn’t so fond of.
‘The only song she didn’t like was the one he wrote for her, a heartfelt ballad called Hawaii.
‘Hawaii was a precursor to death and she wasn’t accepting that. She fought to the bitter end.’
This was the song John entered the Eurovision Song Contest with this year in the hopes of representing Ireland.
The punk rocker got to play his new album for his wife before she died, including a song written for her (Picture: Catherine McGann/Getty Images)
He described the ballad as a ‘love letter’ to his wife but, unfortunately, didn’t qualify, with Wild Youth making it to the semi-finals instead.
In the thick of the competition, John admitted it was difficult for him to leave his wife to go and rehearse.
‘Leaving Nora disturbs me. It’s a rock and a hard place. But what do I do?’, he said.
He proceeded to explain how tough it was to go from giving ’24/7′ care to his wife to suddenly fronting a punk band.
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‘[My manager’s] thrown me in the deep end and I don’t know if I can survive. Will my ego come back? It’s hard to go from 24/7 care to this. I’m unprepared,’ he told The Times.
In the interview, John also offered up some advice for other carers, saying: ‘The best advice is that no matter what they do, it’s all your fault.’
More information about Alzheimer’s disease
More information about Alzheimer’s disease and dementia can be found at the Alzheimer’s Society website: alzheimers.org.uk.
You can contact their support line on 0333 150 3456.
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He said it’s been ‘much harder’ to cope with his loss than he expected.