Ruby juggled her Year 11 prom and GCSE exams while she battled skin cancer and a brain tumour (Picture: Ruby-Jo Sneed)
From an outsider’s perspective, Ruby-Jo Sneed was having a ball at her Year 11 prom.
After posing for pictures with mum Laura and dad Steve, she headed off to St Mary’s College in Hull for the big night.
Ruby-Jo danced, laughed and sang with her mates as she dazzled in a shimmering pink dress. Her biggest problem of the night was the cost of Coke – £3 for a half-pint, no less.
‘I felt like a normal teenager, even if it was just for a few hours,’ Ruby, 17, tells Metro.co.uk
‘But those good memories vanished the next day. All I could think about was the surgery that was coming up in just a few weeks.’
Ruby-Jo, pictured with dad Steve and mum Laura (Picture: Ruby-Jo Sneed)
It was on September 7, 2022, just a few weeks before her Year 11 prom, that Ruby-Jo’s life was turned upside down when she had been called into Leeds Hospital to discuss MRI results.
On a summer holiday, she’d struggled with severe migraines and after being referred by her GP, doctors discovered that the cause was a grade 1 meningioma brain tumour. It was small, at this stage, and it was decided that medical staff would ‘watch and wait’ to see if its size became a problem.
‘I think I was too shocked to cry,’ Ruby-Jo remembers. ‘I was only 15 at the time, it was two weeks before my 16th birthday and the day before my GCSE results as well. I was just thinking “what will my life be like now”.’
‘I sounded like a robot telling my friends at school, I wasn’t crying or anything. It was very surreal, I didn’t know what to think.’
Just a few weeks later, the Sneed family were summoned to hospital again. This time, it was following a small mole removal operation Ruby-Jo had had on her collarbone.
‘When I went for the biopsy results they told me I had melanoma – skin cancer – on top of my brain tumour.
The mole on Ruby-Jo’s collarbone that led to the discovery of her skin cancer(Picture: Ruby-Jo Sneed)
‘I started crying and mum held my hand, I just sobbed to myself in her arms and asked “why is this happening”. I was heartbroken.
‘My dad cried as well, that was the first time I’d seen a man cry. There was nothing he could do to help me, he felt hopeless.
‘For me, I felt fed up with a journey I didn’t ask for. No child should have to know what the word ‘cancer’ means. Looking back, I can’t believe I was so strong. But I had to be, I had no other choice.
‘I did think “am I going to die?” but never asked this question out loud as I didn’t want to scare my parents. I felt like I had to be strong for them so they could be strong for me.
‘The nurse explained that I was going to have surgery to remove the cancer instead of chemotherapy. I knew chemotherapy killed off cancer, but surgery sounded so scary – like the cancer would be ripped out of my body.’
As the family got into their car and began the 60-mile drive to their home in Hull, they sat in silence, with mum Laura ‘quietly crying’ in the front seat.
That was until Ruby-Jo suggested they make a very special pit-stop.
Ruby-Jo credits her mother, Laura, as her ‘rock’ along with dad Steve (Picture: Ruby-Jo Sneed)
‘I asked if we could go to Build-A-Bear. I know it sounds daft, but it really helped me that day,’ she remembers. ‘I got a grey bear and dressed it in a nurse’s outfit.’
That teddy joined Ruby-Jo on subsequent hospital appointments as she prepared for two major surgeries.
First was an operation on October 21 to remove the skin cancer from her neck and a small lump on the back of her head.
Before the procedure Ruby-Jo had been matched up with a support worker called Ashleigh, through the charity Young Lives vs Cancer.
The pair had phone calls to discuss how the teenager was feeling and coping with the mental impact of having cancer.
Ruby-Jo’s surgery was scheduled on the day as a school trip, so while her classmates set out to go to Flamingo Land theme park, she sat nervously outside the theatre room in Leeds Hospital.
Ruby-Jo has been in and out of hospital for blood tests, MRIs and operations (Picture: Ruby-Jo Sneed)
‘I was terrified and shaking like a leaf when I sat on the bed. A nurse was trying her best to calm me down but I just wanted my mum,’ she recalls.
‘Having the cancer removed felt like being branded by a hot iron. The operation itself probably only lasted a couple minutes, but it felt like ten hours.’
A few weeks after the surgery, Ruby-Jo and her family got the welcome news she was cancer free. But there was little time to celebrate as attention then turned to her brain tumour which remained.
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A surgery date on July 11, 2023 – a week after Ruby-Jo’s GCSE exams – was pencilled in.
She adds: ‘Me and my mum stayed in a hotel in Leeds the night before the surgery but I was just tossing and turning. I didn’t get any sleep.
‘We waited hours that morning. I was surrounded by older people, there were no other kids. I was so nervous but tried to make light of the situation and asked my mum if she could get me a McDonald’s after. My mum is my best friend and has always been so strong for me so I wanted to do the same for her.’
10am hit and the reality of the situation set in. Ruby-Jo was wheeled towards the operating theatre, where she had to part ways with her mum.
Doctors decided to ‘watch and wait’ after discovering Ruby-Jo’s brain tumour but, by April, it had grown too much to ignore(Picture: Ruby-Jo Sneed)
‘It was heartbreaking’, she adds. ‘We reached the double doors and the nurses told my mum “you can’t come any further, we’re really sorry.” I broke down and started crying. I told my mum that I loved her.
‘I remember thinking that something was going to go wrong, like they wouldn’t be able to remove the whole tumour.’
Eight hours later, Ruby-Jo woke with a terribly sore neck, a stifling headache and a very dry mouth. But she was okay.
After resting, she was taken to a room to walk, talk and complete simple tasks so nurses and doctors could check if there was any damage caused by the brain surgery.
Thankfully, there was none – and within weeks life was returning to ‘normal’ for her family. Ruby-Jo was visited by friends and returned home, where her siblings had made her a giant welcome banner.
Ruby-Jo had to ease herself back into walking and speaking as she recovered (Picture: Ruby-Jo Sneed)
However, six months on, she is still coming to terms with how her life was completely turned upside down at such a rapid pace.
Even now, she gets some words muddled and struggles with concentration and her energy levels are often low meaning she had to drop her favourite subject – dance.
While her cancer is gone, it will leave a lasting impact.
‘Even if you come back to school after cancer, it can still be difficult,’ Ruby-Jo explains. It’s important that as young people we speak out and get the support we deserve.’
Ruby-Jo hopes to become a nurse and give back in the same way medical staff did for her. She’s raised £400 in a bake sale and will embark on a charity skydive next year. For now, she’s at college studying criminology, health and social care, and psychology.
She also shared her story on Young Lives vs Cancer Instagram in a bid to help others.
(Left-right) Ruby-Jo’s ‘hugely supportive’ friends Chloe and Lucy and Caitlin visiting her in hospital (Picture: Ruby-Jo Sneed)
‘People say I’m nonchalant and mature when I talk about what I went through,but that’s because I spoke to people along the way about how I was feeling,’ she explains.
‘The charity gave me a number to call if I got overwhelmed and a nurse to speak to who specialised with young kids with cancer.’
Ruby-Jo proudly adds: ‘I’m not okay yet but I’m on the road to okay. Young Lives vs Cancer has played a big part in my life, they have supported me in ways that I didn’t think was possible.
‘Ashleigh came to visit me after my brain surgery, she made sure I was comfortable and relaxed and was at my side for help.
‘If I didn’t have the support from Young Lives vs Cancer then I wouldn’t be here today; living my life as a care-free teenager.’
‘I did think “am I going to die?” but never asked out loud as I didn’t want to scare my parents.