The more time you get to know each other helps deepen your connection (Picture: Getty Images/Westend61)
Dear Alison,
I’m pretty sure I’ve met the girl of my dreams and she also calls me her soulmate. We met on a dating app and are a perfect match. I honestly can’t wait to spend the rest of my life with her. I’ve been ring shopping and I’ve got my eye on one I know she’ll love.
The thing is – we’ve only been a couple for three months. My friends and family are calling me crazy and are saying I need to pump the brakes but I couldn’t be more certain that this woman is my future.
So what do you think, should I do it?
James
Do you have a wedding problem you need some advice on?
Weddings are joyful occasions – but they can also be incredibly stressful. Whether you’re a bride or groom, best woman or man, family member or friend of the couple, the run up to the big day can be tense.
Alison, who has run a venue for 10 years and assists couples with wedding planning, is here to offer a helping hand.
Email [email protected] to share your issue anonymously with Alison and get it solved.
Dear James,
It is wonderful that you have found someone who makes you feel so happy, and that you are sure she is your life partner.
Love is an incredible force of nature, and when you find someone who resonates with you on such a deep level, it is entirely natural to start thinking about a lifelong commitment.
Not to mention, meeting the person of your dreams through a dating app is very common. We have held many weddings at our venue where couples have met this way.
But, while strong feelings can be an indicator of a happy, long-term relationship, it is vital to consider a few factors before making a significant commitment and rushing out to buy an engagement ring.
Three months is a relatively short period to truly get to know someone, especially when considering a lifelong partnership with them.
The early stage of any relationship is very euphoric, and the more time you get to know each other helps deepen your connection and understand each other on a deeper level.
Your decision to propose should be a well-considered one (Picture: AKP Branding Stories)
Plus, it’s vital to check whether you’re on the same page – both about your relationship, and the lives you each want to live.
Have you and your partner discussed your future plans? Do you have the same expectations about the relationship? Do both of your life goals align to support each other?
It is essential to be on the same page about children, family, goals, and aspirations.
Are you both emotionally ready for such a big commitment?
Having an open and honest conversation with your partner about your intentions and expectations will give you a clearer idea if you are both in the same place and fully ready for the next step.
Marriage is a big undertaking, and both of you must be prepared for the responsibilities and challenges that come with it.
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While this is very much your life and your decision, it can be helpful to listen to your family and friends about their concerns and any advice they may have. They may see things from a different perspective and can offer valuable insights you have yet to consider.
Proceeding with patience and careful consideration can help you make the most informed decision about your future together.
Taking your time does not mean that you are doubting your love. It is about ensuring that your decision is well-informed and that you build a strong foundation for a lasting relationship.
If you are sure your partner is your life partner, then there is no rush to become engaged or commit to marriage, as this will naturally happen over time.
If you do want to propose now (and assuming she says yes!), engagements are typically 12 to 18 months before the wedding – so it may be two years before your wedding from when you first met if you decide to pop the question. During that time, this will help build the foundation for your life together.
Perhaps before proposing, you could take some other steps first – like moving in together or spending the holidays with each other’s families.
You know when you have met your soulmate, and taking the time to develop your relationship on a deeper level will strengthen the bond you both share.
Ultimately, the choice is yours, and your decision to propose – and when – should be a well-considered one that aligns with both you and your partner’s goals.
I wish you all the best for your future together.
Best wishes
Alison
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Taking your time does not mean that you are doubting your love.