I thought my cancer nightmare was over after a double mastectomy at 23 – then I discovered a spot

My little girls were conceived naturally, despite everything I’d been through (Picture: Emma Riley)

I’ve never known fear like being wheeled down for my double mastectomy.

I knew I needed to get the cancer out of my body, but the thought of what was about to happen – having both of my breasts removed – was terrifying.

I’d never been into hospital for anything like that before – I was a healthy 23-year-old.

Until I wasn’t.

I was diagnosed with breast cancer months before. I remember feeling a lump just below the surface of my left breast while I was in the shower. I was concerned, but never thought it was going to be anything bad.

Even up to the moment when the doctors uttered the words ‘cancer’, I didn’t believe it. I was too young. I’d never heard of breast cancer in a woman of my age.

I don’t remember much about my reaction after being diagnosed. Those hours sat with the consultant and breast care nurses are a blur, but once I got home to my parents’ house, I sank onto my childhood bed and sobbed.

I truly thought that cancer was going to kill me. It felt so unfair – my life had barely begun. I was working, living between my boyfriend Liam’s house and my parents’, going out with friends…

A normal 20-something life, shattered by the most frightening news you could ever imagine receiving.

It wasn’t until after I spoke with my breast care nurse after my lumpectomy (surgery to remove the cancer from my breast) that I realised the extent of what I was about to face. 

My lumpectomy showed cancerous cells in the area around the lump, which meant I needed a double mastectomy – to completely remove my breasts.

It was the conversation around my fertility that really stuck in my mind. I knew that I’d probably want kids in the future but Liam and I certainly weren’t planning them any time soon. We had to have some very adult conversations, years before we wanted to, because I was warned that chemo might impact my ability to become pregnant.

Emma has raised money for Prevent Breast Cancer (Picture: Emma Riley/YouTube)

I’d never have made it through without my family and Liam. They were my rock and my escape when I needed it. They were there with me every step of the way, including holding my hand on the day of my double mastectomy in February 2012, six months after I found my lump.

I didn’t know what to expect when I woke up, how it would feel, how it would look. My mind was whirling but my surgeon was incredible and helped settle my nerves once I was down in theatre. 

I’d been able to have my mum and Liam with me on the ward before I went down. They’d kept my spirits up – just as they would continue to do in the months that followed.

I was one of the youngest women in the country to have a double mastectomy. But all I kept thinking about was this being the first step towards fighting back against the cancer.

I was terrified, but equally determined to get it done so I could start getting back to normal.

Once I woke up from the surgery, the only feeling I remember was relief. Relief that the operation was over and that I’d made the best decision I could at the time to reduce my risk of recurrence.

My surgeon was amazing and did such a good job. I was happy with how everything looked once I had healed and I could properly see what I was left with.

But as I was recovering from the surgery, I noticed a small spot just above the scar on my left breast. It was checked and it had cancerous cells in it. I couldn’t believe my bad luck.

I talked everything through with my doctor and we decided I needed to have chemotherapy and radiotherapy. Because I was so young this would give me every chance possible and I readily agreed, but this could badly affect my fertility.

After speaking to Liam, I decided to have my eggs harvested to safeguard our future family – a process that was incredibly difficult, especially at such a young age. 

I had to inject myself with hormones every day and then together we discussed whether to freeze my eggs alone, or to fertilise them with Liam’s sperm first. It was a lot of pressure and there were already so many other things going on, so we chose to freeze my eggs unfertilised.

My treatment was tough, but I knew that the alternative was worse. 

The chemotherapy took its toll for a week after each cycle – making me feel incredibly sick. I had pain in my legs and back, headaches, a sore mouth and extreme exhaustion.

I’d have some relief in-between, and then I was back in for my next one.

The hardest part was watching how the treatment changed my appearance, especially when my hair started falling out. I used the cold-cap to help reduce my hair loss, which made a difference and helped my hair to grow back faster, but it was painful and I found the whole process difficult to bear.

After the chemo, I had radiotherapy, which, although tiring, was easier to manage.

It was strange when the treatment ended in April 2012. My life had been full of hospital appointments and treatment plans for nine months, then suddenly it was over. I wasn’t sure how to move on.

Liam has been by my side throughout it all (Picture: Emma Riley)

My sister suggested I talk to a charity about how I was feeling. That was the start of a long relationship with Prevent Breast Cancer. I’m an ambassador for the charity now, 11 years on, and it has helped me to move on and realise that I am one of the lucky ones who gets to call themselves a survivor.

Liam and I married on New Year’s Eve in 2017, and I feel so lucky that I’ve never had to explain my history to someone new; Liam has been by my side throughout it all.

Now, we have two beautiful little girls, who were conceived naturally, despite everything I’d been through. When I saw the little pink line on the test I couldn’t stop crying tears of joy! I was elated and so was Liam.

My girls drive me to keep raising awareness among young women, so I can help others in this terrible situation.

My oldest daughter, who is now six, knows what I’ve been through and helps me with fundraising for Prevent Breast Cancer. She’s modelled with me at a John Lewis fashion show for the charity and has helped me campaign around the area where we live for the charity’s Paint Your Town Pink initiative.

I want her to know that if the worst ever happens in her future, there is support out there for her and that so many people are fighting to prevent breast cancer for her generation.

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I was one of the youngest women in the country to have a double mastectomy.