‘I snogged my best mate’s girlfriend and now I want more’

Is a couple swap on the cards? (Picture: Metro.co.uk)

Cheating on your partner is generally considered bad form. Cheating with your best mate’s girlfriend? Some would say it’s unthinkable.

But that’s the situation one reader has found himself in, after giving in to the undeniable ‘chemistry’ between himself and his friend’s beau.

His own girlfriend is starting to get suspicious, so what should he do next? He gets some straight-talking advice below.

Before you go, read last week’s dilemma, where a woman cheated on her husband and had her fist ever orgasm.

The problem…

I know you’ll say I’m not much of a friend when I tell you I’m mad about my best mate’s girlfriend and have been since the summer. To make matters worse, I’ve been with my own girl for over two years, and we all hang out together as a four.

He never has much luck with the opposite sex, so I was happy for him when he met someone nice at a party last year. It wasn’t long before we all started going out regularly, and we do this at least once a week. We even went on holiday together in July, which is when I started noticing the chemistry between his girlfriend and me.

It was obvious she felt it too, and often when we go out it’s as though we’re the couple and the other two are just making up numbers. We talk and laugh about the same things, and joke about how both our parents forced us to learn the piano, which the pair of us can still play. Recently, we ended up playing a duet and singing at a party, which went down a storm, and that just about sealed it for us.

We’ve only snatched a couple of kisses, but we exchange lots of phone calls and messages. Neither of us really knows what to do as we realise the others will end up getting hurt.

Recently, my girlfriend asked me if something was going on, as she said I always seem to be staring at this other girl. I know we can’t keep it secret much longer, so we are going to have to either own up or split up.

Laura says…

From what you’ve said, it doesn’t sound as though ‘splitting up’ is on the cards. If you have a deep connection with this girl, and it’s not just a passing thrill, then you are both going to have to break up with your respective partners sooner rather than later.

The longer you stay with your present girlfriend (who, in any case, is clearly not your forever partner), the deeper the hurt will be when your deception is uncovered. Those snatched kisses will inevitably lead to something more, so please set the poor girl free before you cheat on her, or betray your mate, any further.

There is no way to do this without causing pain, so you must face the fact that you’re going to hurt two people you care about.

If you genuinely value your future with this girl more than your friendship, just accept that one is likely to replace the other. It’s doubtful your mate will quickly forgive you and people will probably take sides. You may well be seen as the ‘bad guy’, so expect that in the short term, at least, you might lose more support than your friend.

People split up all the time and it’s never nice. But in order to be honest and take your new relationship forward, sometimes it has to be done.

Laura is a counsellor and columnist.

Got a sex and dating dilemma? To get expert advice, send your problem to [email protected]

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