How to backtrack on a decision and keep your dignity

Is it possible to make a U-turn without feeling a little silly? (Picture: Rex/Getty)

We all sat and watched with bated breath as the first season of HBO’s And Just Like That… came out in 2021.

Would the iconic Samantha Jones, played by Kim Cattrall, be returning to our screens for the Sex and the City sequel we didn’t know we needed? 

Cattrall made the decision to step back from her role as Samantha in 2016, when she declined to take part in a third SATC movie, the aftermath of which was a public fallout with her co-star Sarah Jessica Parker.

While everyone wanted Samantha back, most of us knew it was unlikely. Cattrall had been very vocal about her decision not to return to the show.

Speaking to Variety last year, Cattrall said: ‘It’s a great wisdom to know when enough is enough.

‘I also didn’t want to compromise what the show was to me. 

‘The way forward seemed clear.’

This week, however, it was revealed that Cattrall would come back to the SATC universe with a one off cameo in the final episode of the second season of And Just Like That… .

Fans, of course, are thrilled – but after being so open about her decision not to continue in her role, we wonder how Kim feels about her U-turn. 

Of course, life is full of surprises, and it’s unlikely you’re going to hold the same belief for a whole year, let alone five, or 10, but that doesn’t make backstepping on a decision you were extremely sure feel any less… undignifying – and that’s totally normal.

‘It’s human nature to want to stick to our guns once we’ve made a decision,’ hypnotherapist Dipti Tait tells Metro.co.uk.

‘After all, we’ve put our thoughts, energy, and even social reputation on the line. 

‘Admitting that we were wrong or that circumstances have changed can feel like a blow to our ego. 

‘We fear judgement, criticism, and the possibility of being labelled as indecisive.’

That said, Dipti continues: ‘It’s important to remember that life is an ever-evolving journey, and sometimes our initial choices no longer align with our values or circumstances.’

How to backtrack with dignity

‘Integrity and dignity serve as guiding principles when navigating the challenging terrain of changing our minds,’ says Dipti.

Maintaining integrity, then, involves having an honest conversation with yourself and others about why you’re making any decision.

‘Dignity comes into play by treating ourselves and those affected by our decision with respect and empathy,’ Dipti adds.

‘It’s crucial to communicate our revised stance with grace, compassion, and humility, fostering understanding and connection.’

Get clear on your reasons 

It’s important to self-reflect before reversing a big decision, especially one you felt so strongly about.

‘Understand the reasons behind your change of heart and ensure that it aligns with your authentic self,’ says Dipti. 

‘Clarity within yourself will help you communicate your revised decision more confidently, leading to a smoother transition.’

Be open and honest

When revisiting a decision, says Dipti, communication is key. 

‘Be open and honest with those who will be affected by your change,’ she says.

‘Choose a suitable setting to have conversations that allow for genuine dialogue. 

‘Express your thought process, emphasising the factors that influenced your decision revision. 

‘By sharing your rationale in a respectful manner, you create a space for understanding and empathy.’

Embrace growth

Going back on a decision, after a lot of self-reflection, is often a sign of personal growth and an opportunity for learning. 

Embrace this.

‘Celebrate the fact that you have the courage and humility to adapt and make choices that better align with your values and aspirations,’ says Dipti. 

‘Remember, life is a continuous journey of self-discovery, and it’s okay to course-correct or change lanes sometimes.’

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It’s all about self-awareness.