Dad in mourning claims grim suicide forum ‘thrived on’ son’s death | News UK

As David’s son lay dying, people online were cheering him on.

Tom Parfett, 22, had taken a poison tablet and documented how it felt to users on the same forum in October 2021 in a hotel in Sunbury-on-Thames, Surrey.

He said he was starting to lose feeling in his hand, and commenters only ‘egged him on’.

His dad David told WTX: ‘It was just the sickest thing ever reading those comments. No one thought to call an ambulance or help him in any way.

‘They were getting a kick out of my son dying.’

The website, a notorious suicide forum which disguised itself as a help group, has been investigated by Ofcom, who yesterday fined the operators £950,000.

And it was ‘hiding in plain sight’, even ranking high on Google search.

‘He had struggled with his mental health’

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Tom, an ‘academically brilliant’ A* student, had just moved to St Andrews to read philosophy.

Throughout his childhood, he had struggled with anxiety over his schoolwork which could lead to spirals of low mood which involved child mental health services.

David said: ‘But he was a lovely kid to be around. He had a wicked laugh and a brilliant sense of humour.

‘If Tom had a passion, it would stay with him for years,’ David said. ‘This included philosophy, playing football and supporting Manchester United.’

But moving away from home for the first time during Covid-19 lockdowns proved challenging. The isolation, coupled with his anxiety to academically succeed, became difficult for Tom to handle.

‘He was falling into a black hole’

It was during this time he revealed to David he had suicidal thoughts, but insisted he would never take action on it and just wanted to find the right support which was not easy to get.

‘He seemed to be falling into a big black hole,’ David said. ‘He would speak about his suicidal thoughts quite regularly, but he was somebody who was quite clear who would take no action on them.’

Two months before his death, Tom was sectioned for a night in Scotland.

David was away for the night in Newcastle, barely looking at his phone as he enjoyed his evening when he finally received the call.

David said: ‘He had a breakdown the night before his birthday. It was surprising because things were looking a bit better having started his new academic year.’

Two months later, Tom bought poison from a website for around £50, with what would have been a £40 to the seller.

‘He valued my son’s life at around £40,’ David said ‘No one stopped it, it came like a package on Amazon.’

‘The forum normalised suicide’

It was only after David looked into his son’s death as part of a Times investigation, did he come across the forum.

‘It is an echo chamber, where it was just normal for people to discuss taking their own life and leaving detailed instructions.

‘Tom was insistent he would take no action on his suicidal thoughts. But this normalised it for him.’

Even as David scrolled through, he had to stop himself becoming too drawn into the posts.

‘I was vulnerable at the time,’ he said. ‘And I had to manually remind myself that this is not normal.’

The National Crime Agency has identified 272 people who bought items from the website between April 2021 and April 2023. Of those, 88 died.

Kenneth Law, a former chef, has been charged with 14 counts of assisting suicide in Canada.

Although a package with Law’s details was found next to Tom’s body, Surrey Police say there was no evidence to suggest any communication between the two.

‘A fine alone is not enough’

The website has been linked to 133 deaths across the world and featured in multiple coroners’ reports.

It became the first website to be investigated by Ofcom under the Online Safety Act, with the watchdog announcing yesterday they were fining the operators £950,000.

The regulator is now investigating nearly 100 sites and has issued 17 fines against seven companies – totalling nearly £5 million.

But families of loved ones who have taken their lives after visiting these websites have demanded more, including a public inquiry.

David said: ‘Ofcom itself has been clear that £950,000 is the full extent of what it can do under the Online Safety Act in this case, and that the forum remains operational.

‘We are not going to pretend that this is the end of the story. It is the moment the case for a statutory public inquiry becomes harder, not easier, for the Government to refuse.’

Adele Walton, whose sister Aimee died in October 2022 after engaging with the forum, said: ‘My sister is dead. Tom Parfett is dead. At least 133 other families in this country are living with the same loss. Today’s fine doesn’t bring any of them back.

‘Why did it take so long and why is the Government still refusing the one mechanism, a statutory public inquiry, capable of answering those questions independently?’

A government spokesperson said: ‘Every family devastated by suicide deserves to know that online services are being held to account, and we are unequivocal about the responsibilities platforms have to keep people safe – tackling illegal content and giving users effective routes to report any concerns.

‘That is why we back Ofcom in using the full extent of its powers under the Online Safety Act. The regulator has also confirmed it is preparing a court application for business disruption measures should the provider fail to comply – powers that could ultimately restrict UK user access entirely.’