My fiance died a month before our wedding — I’m on our honeymoon alone
Laura Murphy spent the first few months of this year looking forward to her wedding with her fiance Devon O’Grady.
But her life changed in an instant when he passed away, just a month before their big day at 31 years old, following a cardiac event.
Following the tragedy in May, the Canadian lawyer decided to embark on a solo honeymoon – taking the trip she was meant to be sharing with her new husband alone – ‘to see if life is worth living’.
Laura felt incredibly isolated in her grief so she decided to document her journey on TikTok in a series of videos which immediately garnered millions of views.
‘It’s very lonely and isolating because I knew no one my age who had lost a partner,’ she told The Washington Post. ‘I needed to find people who could relate because I wanted to know how to go on.’
‘I also felt I needed to remove myself from my hometown and our house. I was just sort of sitting there for months not knowing what to do with myself.’
So, she packed up and headed from Newfoundland to London for a few days and she’s currently in France.
From solo dinners to crying in restaurants and feeling the grief of losing her fiance every time she checks into somewhere alone – Laura is sharing the raw unfiltered sadness she’s feeling, in hopes she’ll connect with someone else going through the same thing.
Laura said on TikTok: ‘Very early on after this happened, I remember asking my dad “I need you to find somebody who has been through this because I need to see evidence that it’s possible to survive it”.
‘I didn’t think that I would, and some days I still don’t. There was just no part of me that could understand that this had happened to him – I just refused to accept it.’
Now she’s on her journey four months since losing Devon and she explained why she’s on this trip alone.
‘I do feel guilty at times being on this trip but when I was at home I was also feeling guilty that I was just sitting at home when he didn’t get a chance to live, so I should be living my life for the both of us,’ she explained.
Before his death, she and Devon lived together in Newfoundland with their Bernedoodles Leni and Chewy. The pair met at work and sadly, when he died, it was in the office across from hers.
Now, Murphy describes being ‘triggered’ by the sound of an ambulance siren.
In one TikTok, having ventured to Nice, Laura explains how she’d previously had a trip there with her maid of honour and her fiance, so revisiting was painfully familiar.
But she’s made some new friends on her trip, exploring Camden Market and Hyde Park, while discovering Daunt books and staying at the Hoxton.
Others in the comments shared their experiences. Sarah Hoch wrote: ‘My husband died of Covid. I took our well planned 30th anniversary trip back to Italy…alone. But, I realised it was important for me to do that to move forward. I felt Ernesto every day.’
Another said: ‘It’s been six years this August since losing my soulmate. I promise you it will get better. I’m proud of you for getting out of bed today.’
‘Watch your videos has had me crying. I’m so proud of you for going on your travels. I lost my husband in 2021,’ wrote another.