From differing values to not listening to advice (Picture: Getty Images)
Like any relationship, friendships have their ups and downs.
No matter how much you love your bestie and they you, you’re bound to do things that drive each other crazy now and then — nobody’s perfect after all.
That’s why we asked some counsellors to weigh in on what things their clients most often hate about their pals, so that maybe, if you spot anything you recognise, it can be amended for the benefit of the friendship…
Political opinions
Further to the above, politics can be divisive no matter who you talk to about it.
Therapist Jenny Warwick says: ‘Politics and current affairs can be polarising issues, particularly at present, with so much media input. However, discussing differing political opinions with friends respectfully and sensitively is essential for maintaining a healthy and constructive relationship.
‘Actively listening to your friend’s perspective is a good start. Aim to understand their point of view before you respond.’
Lack of reciprocity
Counsellor Donna Morgan puts lack of reciprocity of feelings at the top of her list.
‘A friendship where one person constantly feels they are putting more into the relationship, whether emotionally or in terms of effort, can lead to feelings of resentment and being undervalued,’ she says.
‘Over time, as individuals evolve, so do their belief systems’ (Picture: Getty Images)
Unreliability
Next on Donna’s list is flakiness.
She says: ‘Friends who are known for last-minute cancellations, failing to keep promises or general unpredictability erode the foundation of trust which is crucial in any relationship.
‘Closely related to this is the challenge of dealing with self-centredness. When one party consistently dominates conversations, focusing primarily on their own experiences and showing little interest in others, it can leave friends feeling unheard and unimportant.’
Communication styles
Communication is key, which is why having different habits in this regard can cause trouble in platonic and romantic relationships alike.
Jenny explains: ‘For example, you may prefer [to be] direct, while your friend likes a subtle approach. The best start is to initiate an open and candid conversation with your friend about your different communication methods. Explain your preferences and ask them about theirs.
‘Give them your full attention when speaking to show them you respect their communication style. Keep in mind that everyone has their unique ways of expressing themselves, and these differences can add richness to your friendship.’
Not listening to advice
Counselling Directory member Abigail Holman tells Metro.co.uk that a common problem friendships face is when one person relies a lot on the other for emotional support but doesn’t listen to their advice.
She says: ‘This dynamic can create a sense of being in a constant rescue role for one friend, while the other may feel like a helpless victim, which can be emotionally draining for both.
‘This situation can result in frustration and even resentment, negatively affecting both friends. The friend seeking help may struggle to trust themselves if they constantly seek external advice, while the friend offering it may feel overwhelmed and unheard.’
Differing values
Sometimes people change over the years, and not always in ways their friends agree with.
Donna says: ‘Over time, as individuals evolve, so do their belief systems.
‘When friends find themselves on divergent paths in terms of core values or ethical stances, it can create friction and sometimes an insurmountable barrier in maintaining a healthy friendship.’
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‘This situation can result in frustration and even resentment.’