Meet Mental Elf, who doesn’t want you to leave your emotions on the shelf (Picture: Roxy)
Forget Elf on the Shelf. Roxy McCarthy – otherwise known as Mental Elf – is truly doing her bit for the festive spirit.
As the clever play on words would have you believe, Roxy, 30, dresses up as a Mental Health Elf to encourage whoever she can to open up about their feelings and emotions.
Her mission to break down the stigma around mental health was inspired by her own mental health struggles after losing her friend Jess to suicide in 2020.
And, when the annual MIND Mental Elf run was called off due to Covid that same year, Roxy thought she would dress as an elf for 12 days to encourage open conversation.
But, it was so wildly successful and made such an impact at her workplace, she ended up wearing her elf costume for the entire month – everywhere she went.
Roxy tells Metro.co.uk: ‘People take part in the Mental Elf campaign by donning an elf hat and having a conversation.
Roxy began Mental Elf in 2020 after she’d lost her friend Jess to suicide (Picture: Roxy)
‘Then people ask “why are you wearing your elf hat?”, and you say “because we’re talking about our mental health”.
‘It’s like a direct opening because you don’t just naturally ask somebody “how was your mental health today?”, or “have you struggled with mental health in the past?” – you wouldn’t normally have an opportunity to ask that question.’
Now, this Christmas Mental Elf has made a comeback and Roxy is running through the streets of London dressed in her costume and getting ready to run the London Marathon in 2024 for Samaritans.
She’s also heading into different businesses to open up conversations around mental health – like NatWest and Bupa – as well as her own workplace JAAQ, a mental health platform.
Roxy will even be volunteering for Samaritans on Christmas Day to listen to those who need it most.
Every one of her colleagues at JAAQ have also donned a mental elf hat as a result and have shared their own experiences about mental health and have told Roxy it’s been really ‘therapeutic’.
But Roxy doesn’t just wear her elf costume to work – she wears it everywhere. She says: ‘I wear Mental Elf everywhere – from shopping and work to video calls, walks, and even while riding my horse.
‘It brought so many smiles to people’s faces but I couldn’t help but notice the funny looks I received when filling up my car with fuel.
Roxy dressed as Mental Elf with her horse who recently passed away (picture: Roxy)
‘The festive elf attire in everyday situations added some humour and light-heartedness.’
Roxy shares the story of a chance encounter with a banker at an investors event, which encapsulates the true spirit of Mental Elf.
She says: ‘I was dressed head to toe in my elf outfit at the investors event because I was doing some filming for Mental Elf. I got talking to a man at the bar, who said “can I ask why you’re dressed as an elf?”.’
Roxy explained the purpose of Mental Elf before saying to the man: ‘If you were an elf, what would you say to me now?
‘He just looked at me and said, “I’ve been depressed for a year and I didn’t know I was depressed until six months ago”.’
The banker explained he hadn’t left the house so he went to the doctor and they diagnosed him with depression.
He said to Roxy: ‘I’ve never told anybody that. It actually felt quite nice to tell you that.’
Roxy asked him if he’d told friends and family and he hadn’t, but he told her that, after their conversation, he was going to tell his friends because ‘it felt quite nice to speak about it’.
Roxy dons the Mental Elf costume everywhere she goes (picture: Roxy)
Roxy loves being Mental Elf because she realises ‘the impact and even just the smiles, people can’t not smile if they see an elf’.
She says: ‘Everyone has their own story and it’s fascinating. That’s what I’m trying to encourage more. I’m not asking everyone to dress as elves – I mean, that’d be amazing – but even just putting the hat on and opening up, if you could just get a few people doing it, it’ll break down mental health barriers.’
Mental health can get worse around Christmas time because people can feel loneliness more acutely – something Roxy is all too aware of.
‘I know, all too well, how difficult Christmas is when you’ve lost people and there’s changing circumstances,’ she says. ‘But I think we’ve just got to do what is right for us. Step away from what other people might be doing.’
This is why Roxy is so keen to volunteer for Samaritans on Christmas day this year, despite having needed the last few months off from answering the phone for her own mental health.
Roxy, who has volunteered for three years, in her Samaritans vest (picture: Roxy)
As a Samaritan with three years volunteering experience, Roxy says: ‘I always like to give back at Christmas because it helps me to get some perspective on my own life.
‘That’s why I do a lot of my work at Samaritans because it makes giving back makes me feel good. I’m helping them but it also makes me really quite grateful for what I’ve got, because there’s a lot of people in the world that are struggling in a lot of different ways.
‘We always say you’re not alone. But you’re really not alone. There’s always someone like the 23,000 volunteers that will have dedicated their time around Christmas to be there for people.
‘So people don’t need to be on their own at a time when they might feel the most lonely, especially around Christmas.’
Need support?
For emotional support you can call the Samaritans 24-hour helpline on 116 123, email jo@samaritans.org, visit a Samaritans branch in person or go to the Samaritans website.
If you’re a young person, or concerned about a young person, you can also contact PAPYRUS Prevention of Young Suicide UK. Their HOPELINK digital support platform is open 24/7, or you can call 0800 068 4141, text 07860039967 or email: pat@papyrus-uk.org between the hours of 9am and midnight.
Do you have a story to share?
Get in touch by emailing MetroLifestyleTeam@Metro.co.uk.
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She wears her elf costume everywhere, from the supermarket to riding her horse.