We asked comedians for a one-liner about 2023 in politics – and Joe Lycett is spot on

Joe Lycett has spoken for the people. Do not eat and read (Picture:Richard Martin-Roberts/Getty Images)

Ah, 2023. It’s the end of another year, which means a time of reflection – specifically, Metro.co.uk asked comedians to sum up the political year in a sentence. Which they did, quite brilliantly.

It’s not been quite like 2022 – the year in which Boris Johnson, Liz Truss and Rishi Sunak were all Prime Ministers – but there’s been enough stuff ups to make it worth talking about, that’s for sure.

It’s the year former ‘austerity boy’ Prime Minister David Cameron sensationally returned to politics, a time when migration became the ultimate political football, and the year pints in London were well over £7.

Mr Sunak is hanging on longer than the shelf life of a lettuce, at least. He has managed to avoid the same fate as his predecessor Truss – who plummeted the country into economic doom with her disastrous mini-budget last September.

After Partygate, Mr Johnson, economic ruin, internal party politics and scandal after scandal, it’s safe to say things are looking up for Labour in 2024.

But enough of all that, what do the comedians think?

Joe Lycett

Joe Lycett is always one to hit the nail on the head and say what everyone is thinking but in a much more clever way. And he’s done that.

But if you are queasy at all from a festive hangover, it’s time to stop reading.

‘What links Rishi Sunak’s stint as prime minister and Boris Johnson’s approach to sex? They’re short, horrible to watch, and both end in Labour,’ the comedian told Metro.co.uk.

Oh Joe. Not the floppy-haired disgraced former Prime Minister having sex. Please no. And suddenly all our Christmas chocolates came right back up.

He does have a lot of children though, so we applaud Joe for his very clever – if not gag-inducing – joke.

This comes after the 35-year-old Late Night Lycett star faked his own poo podcast, Turdcast, in the best political stunt he’s pulled off to date.

Andy Parsons

‘Every new Rishi Sunak initiative has led to further poll drops – like resetting your phone and it working worse.’

Thanks, Mock the Week icon Andy Parson, for taking aim at both the government and Apple in one almighty swoop.

Why is it that every time a phone updates its battery life gets worse? And why can’t the government talk about things that… actually matter?

Rishi Sunak must be feeling the heat entering into the New Year (Picture: PA)

Ray Bradshaw

‘Politics this year was such a bin fire that Rishi Sunak is 4 interviews away from saying he can no longer sweat whilst in Pizza Express.’

Here Ray Bradshaw, who is touring his new show Doppelginger next year, is nodding to Prince Andrew’s alleged involvement with the now-deceased Jeffery Epstein.

Ray is harking back to the Duke of York claiming in that infamous interview with Emily Maitlis that he ‘can’t sweat’ after Virginia Roberts Giuffre recalled him perspiring heavily in a club.

During the unforgettable Newsnight interview in November 2019, Andrew also claimed he could not have had sex with Ms Giuffre on March 10, 2001 because he had taken his daughters to a birthday party at Pizza Express in Woking.

In short – Rishi is on his way to public opinion exile, according to Ray.

Emmanuel Sonubi

‌For anyone trying to make and stick to a New Year’s resolution, look away now because Emmanuel Sonubi isn’t convinced they work (and neither is anyone else).

‘Politicians policies are like New Year resolutions… Made with enthusiasm and hope, forgotten by February,’ he said.

Ouch.

Emmanuel will be touring his show Curriculum Vitae next year, FYI.

Jessica Fostekew 

‘2023 – the year that it became easier to escape from prison than it was to renew your mortgage,’ joked Jessica Fostekew, who is also touring her show Mettle next year.

Daniel Abed Khalife escaped Prison HM Wandsworth in September (Picture: Metropolitan Police / SWNS)

Here, Jessica is nodding to the recent incident when former British Army soldier Daniel Abed Khalife escaped from HM Prison Wandsworth and went on the run for four days.

He was on remand awaiting terrorism charges when he strapped himself to the bottom of a food delivery lorry while working in the prison’s kitchen. And off he went!

Jessica is also talking about the diabolical state of the UK’s cost of living crisis, of course.

And there we have it. Happy 2024…

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A little festive treat from Metro.co.uk…