‘When we can weave love into all areas of life, we’re opening the doors of what Tantra is’ (Picture: Getty Images/Refinery29 RF)
Ever wanted to try tantric sex?
Well, you’re in luck, because we’ve got some very simple expert tips for the absolute beginner.
In this week’s installment of Metro.co.uk’s podcast Smut Drop, host Miranda Kane gets talking to transformational sex and relationship coach and tantric practitioner Aaron Kleinerman.
During their chat, they dove deep into Tantra.
Aaron says: ‘Tantra is just weaving love through life.
‘And when we can weave love through life – through our finances, through our relationships, through our social world, through our family, through our purpose, work – we’re opening the doors of what Tantra is.’
Sounds dreamy – and how does that apply to sex?
‘Tantric lovemaking,’ explains Aaron, ‘is slowing the f**k down, taking agenda away, not rushing to ejaculation, not rushing to clitoral orgasm – not rushing or trying to get somewhere.
‘It’s simply being in the joy of making love, whether it’s with yourself or with another.’
That doesn’t mean that you can’t also enjoy harder sex at the same time.
‘But,’ Aaron goes on, ‘that also means you can just be soft and gentle and tender. It’s inviting all of it, and it’s saying, “Hey, that’s all welcome here, and we celebrate it.”‘
If that sounds good to you, Aaron has some advice on how you can get started tonight.
Fall in love with yourself
Aaron’s recommendation for the first thing you can do is pretty simple – you just need a mirror and some privacy.
‘Go home, stand in front of the mirror, and I invite you to take off all your clothes, to be in the comfort of your own space,’ he instructs.
‘Look yourself in the eye, and fall in love with who you are.’
‘It’s simply being in the joy of making love, whether it’s with yourself or with another’ (Picture: Getty Images/Refinery29 RF)
Give your body more TLC
Another thing you can do is try to bring a bit more pleasure to your body.
‘Now,’ Aaron clarifies, ‘I’m not saying pleasure that’s agenda based or trying to get to a goal, but bring pleasure in touch to your own body in a way that’s soothing, nourishing, and helps fill your own cup.
‘That can just be simply taking a little bit of your favourite body butter with your doors closed, and just beginning to bring a loving touch to your body.
‘While you’re doing that saying: “I love you, body. Thank you, thank you for carrying me for life.”‘
Give yourself permission to feel
This is another tip that’s simple in principle, but if you’re in the habit of suppressing your emotions, it can be very hard to break.
‘Sometimes people suppress their emotions,’ says Aaron. ‘They’re afraid of their anger, they’re afraid of their sadness.
‘When emotions come up, let yourself feel them. Don’t push them down, don’t stuff them away with too many beers or too much food – really let yourself feel.’
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‘When we can weave love into all areas of life, we’re opening the doors of what Tantra is.’