Shane MacGowan’s wife is marking her first Christmas without him this year (Picture: X)
Shane MacGowan’s wife is struggling amid her first Christmas without The Pogues frontman.
His widow has said it ‘physically hurts’ to be marking the festive season without him, having been together for several decades and married since 2018.
The musician, who died weeks before he was due to celebrate his 66th birthday on Christmas Day, was best known for co-writing and singing the gritty festive song Fairytale Of New York, which climbed its way up the charts this year.
MacGowan suffered from a series of health issues in recent years and had been in hospital for months after contracting encephalitis, a condition affecting the brain.
He was then discharged from hospital in November and celebrated his wedding anniversary at home, sadly dying ‘peacefully’ days later.
On Monday, Victoria Mary Clarke wrote that Christmas Day this year was ‘really, really hard’ and ‘much harder than I expected it to be.’
Victoria Mary Clarke has said she ‘can’t stop crying’ (Picture: Instagram)
‘I just can’t stop crying and I want to be with him so much it physically hurts,’ she shared in a heartbreaking Instagram post.
Victoria continued: ‘I don’t know how people get through this but I do know that they do and people do feel joy even after they lose their person.
‘Shane always said that even though he was born on Christmas Day he was much more focused on it being Jesus’s birthday and he felt like that was the most important thing about Christmas so I am asking for Jesus and the angels to help me today.’
In a follow-up post, the journalist said she had a ‘transcendent experience’ after she went to Mass.
Victoria added that it felt ‘warm and welcoming’ to be back in West Cork.
MacGowan died weeks before his 66th birthday (Picture: Marc O’sullivan/REX/Shutterstock)
The Fairytale of New York hitmaker experienced a series of health woes over recent years (Picture: Instagram)
‘I was feeling really desolate this morning but I was lucky enough to be able to get to Mass in Cuil Aodha home of the famous choir led by Peadar O Riada.
‘It was a transcendent experience to feel the joy and love in the church and in the congregation and in the healing voices of the choir.
‘Shane always loved to take Holy Communion and he could really get a buzz from it and I definitely found a level of peace that had been feeling out of reach.
‘Just the sound of the beautiful voices and the incense and the beauty of the Irish language being spoken was glorious and healing.’
She added: ‘It feels so warm and welcoming and supportive to back in West Cork where none of the roads are signposted and you have to learn to see in the dark.’
MacGowan’s life was celebrated at a funeral service on December 8 (Picture: Stuart Wallace/Shutterstock)
The public was invited to pay their respects in Tipperary, Ireland (Picture: Reuters)
Clarke had previously campaigned to make Fairytale Of New York land this year’s Christmas number one but it lost out to Wham!’s Last Christmas.
She supported the British band claiming the top spot, saying she ‘loved’ George Michael, who died on Christmas Day in 2016 aged 53, and his band Wham!, which also included Andrew Ridgeley.
Originally released in 1987, MacGowan’s track has never reached the top of the UK charts, peaking at number two and beaten to the Christmas number one the year it was released by the Pet Shop Boys’s cover of Always On My Mind.
He wrote the song with fellow founder of The Pogues, Jem Finer, and he sang it alongside English singer Kirsty MacColl, who died in December 2000.
MacGowan’s funeral was held in Co Tipperary and featured performances from Australian musician Nick Cave, as well as dancing in the aisles of Saint Mary of the Rosary Church in Nenagh.
MacGowan’s loved ones campaigned for his Christmas tune to be number one this year (Picture: Alamy Stock Photo)
It also featured celebrity guests including Hollywood actor Johnny Depp and Game Of Thrones star Aidan Gillen, along with politicians such as former Sinn Fein leader Gerry Adams and Irish president Michael D Higgins.
The ceremony’s date of December 8, which also saw hundreds gathered in Dublin as his funeral cortege passed the streets before travelling to the funeral, also coincided with what would have marked Sinead O’Connor’s 57th birthday.
The Irish singer, who died in July, was a close friend of MacGowan.
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‘I want to be with him so much it physically hurts.’
