‘Men’s sexual attractiveness comes from their power, wisdom and experience’ (Picture: Getty/Rex)
Patrick Dempsey has been crowned People Magazine’s Sexiest Man Alive, and we totally get it.
It’s been almost two decades since his Greys Anatomy debut, but his appearance at the Venice Film Festival in August this year was a reminder to us all that, at 57 years old, Patrick is as McDreamy as ever.
With his pinstripe suit and perfectly quaffed grey hair, the vibes were impeccable. And we could happily take a swim in those laughter-lined green eyes.
When he heard he’d won the coveted title, Patrick told People: ‘I’m glad it’s happening at this point in my life. It’s nice to have the recognition.’
And he’s right, it is nice that, in a youth-obsessed society, a man who is ageing like a fine wine has been honoured in a such a way.
In fact, People has bestowed the title to many a man aged 45 plus. Over the years, Paul Rudd (53 at the time), Idris Elba (46), Richard Gere (50) and Harrison Ford (56) have all been crowed Sexiest Man Alive.
But when it comes to the perceived sexiness of female celebs, the picture looks a little different.
While People Magazine scrapped its Sexiest Woman Alive award in 2014 after crowing Kate Upton the one and only winner, since 2000, Maxim has published a similar ranking, naming its Hot 100. Over the years winners include Taylor Swift, Kate Upton, Margot Robbie and Olivia Wilde. Their oldest ever winner was 2023’s Ashley Graham, aged 35.
Ashley Graham is the oldest ever winner of Maxim’s Hot 100, aged 35 (Picture: Dave Benett/Getty Images)
While 2023 was the year that older female celebrities were finally recognised for their achievements – Michelle Yeoh (60), Jennifer Coolidge (62) and Angela Bassett(65) were the darlings of awards season – it was also the year that older men were recognised for their, well, hotness. Pedro Pascal quite rightly became the internet’s Zaddy, and Keanu Reeves has become TikTok’s favourite crush.
But it’s rare that we see a woman who looks her age be celebrated in quite the same way. While it is absolutely the prerogative of each individual to chose whether they want to dye their hair or get wrinkles and fine lines injected away, there’s no denying that for women, youthfulness equals beautiful.
Jane Evans, 61, is the founder of the Uninvisibility Project, which aims to raise the profile of women over 51, and help them thrive in creative industries.
She says that Patrick Dempsey’s award might be deserved – but it’s a harsh reminder of the double standards of male and female ageing.
Pedro Pascal, 48, reached Zaddy status in 2023 (Picture: MICHAEL TRAN/AFP via Getty Images)
She says: ‘According to society, women have no use once we are no longer fertile.
‘Our sexuality is based upon our fertility. The younger you are, the more fertile you are, the more attractive you are.
‘We are basically written off at our halfway point in life.’
Jane says that ageism starts when we’re just children. She says: ‘Little girls are told that once they get to a certain age, they have two options: old witch, or sweet grandma.
‘Meanwhile, men get to be the silver fox. Where is the silver vixen?’
It’s probably not a surprise to hear that the silver fox is ‘yet another sexist trope’. ‘Men’s sexual attractiveness comes from their power, wisdom and experience – traits that come with age, so we celebrate men getting older,’ says Jane.
Jane cites a 2019 study by the University of Copenhagen that analysed the adjectives used to describe men and women in 3.5 million books. The top adjectives for women included ‘beautiful’, ‘lovely’, ‘sexy’ and ‘fertile’. For men, they were ‘brave’, ‘rational’, ‘reliable’ and ‘righteous.’
Jane Evans is the founder of the Univisibility Project (Picture: Supplied)
Jane continues: ‘Men, like Hugh Jackman or Keanu Reeves, face backlash for being with women their own age or older. The narrative is, “why would they want to bewith them, when they could have someone younger?”
‘There can be no doubt that the literary canon has been dominated by men for the last 3,000 years. That’s a lot of narrative to control and a lot of male gaze to counter balance. A gaze that appears to go no further than the way we look.’
The Univisibility Project defines ‘mid-life women’ as between the ages of 45 and 70, and Jane says it’s time we saw more realistic images of women at this stage of life.
‘I’m constantly looking at women in their 40s and beyond, who have perfect skin, without a single wrinkle on their face. Where are the midlife women who look my friends and I?
‘Of course, we have a right to choose how we want to present ourselves, but I object to the pressure women face to represent themselves artificially, rather than naturally.’
It’s a pressure that model Silvina Neder felt for much of her life. After noticing her first grey hair in her 20s, she spent years dying her curls. She says she became obsessed and a ‘slave to the dye’.
‘There was so much pressure,’ says Silvina, 53. ‘I had to dye my hair, go to the gym and be careful of what I ate.
Silvina spent years dying her grey hair (Picture: Rosie Collins)
‘I saw dying my hair as something I simply had to do. It was part and parcel of being a woman.’
But after moving to London, aged 47, Silvina was busy settling into a new job and a new city – and she simply didn’t have time to tend to her hair every two weeks.
‘I started letting it grow out,’ she says. ‘My younger colleagues would say I looked so cool, which gave me confidence.
‘Then, I took some pictures for my website, and the photographer said I should send them to a modelling agent.
‘I had nothing to lose, so I went for it.’
Within four days, Silvina had booked her first job. ‘Thanks to my grey hair and newfound confidence, I’ve done shoots for magazines, fashion brands, and acted in television commercials,’ she says.
But Silvina, who has her own grey haircare line, knows she’s an exception, and wants other women to ‘look the way they want’.
‘We are so often influenced by the eyes of others,’ she says. ‘But we can be beautiful at any age.’
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Where are all the silver vixens?