A woman shared how her in-laws think her name isn’t ‘juvenile’ (Picture: Getty Images/iStockphoto)
‘Ever since I first met my in-laws two years ago they have been so weird about my name,’ begins a recent Reddit post.
A 28-year-old young woman took to the website to share that her husband’s parents outright refuse to call her by her legal name – because they think it sounds immature.
‘My legal name is Flora,’ she writes. ‘I always liked my name a lot.’
However, she claims her in-laws think Flora sounds ‘juvenile’ and should just be a ‘nickname’. Instead, they call her Florence as they think it’s more appropriate for a professional woman.
‘They said every time they hear the name they expect a six-year-old and not a 28-year-old woman. My husband has been wonderful about shutting them down and telling them to stop and calling them out on being disrespectful. We have distanced ourselves from his parents due to this.’
Flora’s struggle is one that many people will relate to – but this is especially the case if you have a name that isn’t typically ‘Western’.
Mo’s real name is Mousumi (Picture: Mo Kanjilal Williams)
Mo Kanjilal Williams, 49, has had trouble with her name her entire life, and has even ended up going by a nickname, as people claim they can’t pronounce her real moniker.
Mo, from Brighton, tells Metro.co.uk: ‘My full name is Mousumi (pronounced Mow-Shoo-Me). When I was at school, teachers told me they couldn’t say it so I shortened it to “Mou”.
‘When I was a child I mostly wanted to fit in so I went along with it. But my parents always used my full name and did not like the shortening of it.’
She says the butchering of her name is ‘annoying’ and that it’s a form of ‘discrimination’. As such she regrets not making a bigger deal about people using it properly from the get-go.
‘I wish I had insisted people use it,’ she says. ‘When I started working, I dropped the u and became “Mo”. But people ask if they can call me Maureen. No thanks, it’s not my name. Monica? Also not my name.
‘I think people who can learn to say complicated words like “Tchaikovsky”, “suspicious” and “queue” can learn to say these names. It’s discrimination to not even try to say them. It shows people’s biases when it comes to saying names they perceive as too difficult.’
Adrienne’s family call her a different name (Picture: Adrienne Santos-Longhurst)
Adrienne Santos-Longhurst, a writer from Canada, also has issues with her more unusual name.
She told Metro.co.uk that she’s been called various different names since she was born, which causes ‘much confusion’.
She said: ‘My parents immigrated to Canada from Portugal while my mother was pregnant with me. From what I’ve been told, my father wanted to name me Adriana after his mother.’
However, the nurse joked that her name be “Adrienne” instead, which she said was more Canadian.
‘Due to his poor English he didn’t realise it was just a joke, so I was legally named Adrienne, and he didn’t even bother to give me a middle name to avoid any trouble.
Using nicknames for colleagues at work
Amanda Day, director of people enablement at HR platform Remote, explained: ‘Recognising and respecting preferred names in the workplace isn’t just about identity; it’s about your commitment to inclusivity. Whether someone opts for a shortened version of their name or chooses a name affirming their gender identity, creating an environment where employees feel recognised and validated fosters higher engagement, satisfaction, and motivation at work.
‘Using employees’ preferred names doesn’t take much effort, but it can mean a great deal to the person in question. Avoid imposing your own naming conventions on people, like abbreviating names for ease of pronunciation or assuming preferences. If you aren’t sure what name a person prefers, just ask!
‘If you have trouble pronouncing a name, ask for clarification or search for online pronunciation help. There are plenty of resources, so unfamiliarity with a name is no excuse. When meeting new colleagues, I’d advise kicking off your first meeting by double-checking you’re using their preferred name so you’re on the right track from the get-go.
‘It’s okay to make mistakes and ask if you’re unsure. The key is to make people feel valued and psychologically safe. This simple starting point builds a culture of belonging in your workplace where everyone feels seen, and in the long run, creates ongoing respect and inclusivity in an environment where everyone is comfortable.’
‘You’d think that was the end of my story, but nope!’
She continued: ‘My entire family called me Adriana at home which caused confusion when I started school.
‘There was an exercise in class where our teacher had written our name on large placards and each student had to go find theirs. I looked and looked and didn’t see “Adriana” anywhere so I sat back down. The teacher insisted I take the placard with “Adrienne” and I refused because it wasn’t my name.
‘She called my parents in for a meeting to discuss her concern that I hadn’t yet learned to spell my name as well as my defiance and inability to take instruction!
‘After the meeting she agreed to let me go by Adriana for the rest of the school year.’
Even as an adult, her real name continued to be an issue.
‘People call me “Andrea”, “Audrine”, “Andrienne”…everything but Adrienne. Sigh.’
But even having a more common name doesn’t mean you’re going to escape people’s unwelcome alterations to your first name.
Dr Alexis Willett, a health science writer and consultant, told Metro.co.uk that she’s regularly called “Alex”, despite never referring to herself as that.
Professor Alexis Willett often gets called ‘Alex’ (Picture: Sheona Beach)
She said: ‘People call me “Alex” all the time even though I’ve never gone by that name.
‘It’s often people I meet for the first time, which I find weird as usually people shorten names when familiar with someone.
‘It’s like my last two letters don’t exist!’
So, before you start giving your friends, colleagues and well, anyone, a ‘harmless’ nickname, maybe just call them by their actual name instead.
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‘That’s not my name…’
