Love Island’s back again – already (Picture: ITV)
Yes, it’s already that time of year again – tonight we were introduced to the latest batch of contestants enjoying the Mallorca sun in the famous Love Island villa.
If you’ve got whiplash, you’re not the only one as between now and Ekin-Su Cülcüloğlu’s masterful crawl across the decking last summer we also squeezed in the return of Winter Love Island in January – you know, the series that Kai Fagan and Sanam Harrinanan won?
Yeah, me neither.
Anyway, we’re here to talk about tonight’s opening action, as little of it as there was, as Molly Marsh, Tyrique Hyde, Ella Thomas, Mitchel Taylor, Ruchee Gurung, Mehdi Edno, Jess Harding, George Fensom, Catherine Agbaje and André Furtado all made their debuts on the show.
Much was made of the coupling up ‘twist’ this time around, as a few of the guys and girls were allowed some free mingling time in the villa, apparently leaving them ‘confused’, before host Maya Jama arrived (thank God) to inject a little warmth and vibrancy into proceedings.
Literally in exactly the same move as last year, it was the public who were in charge of coupling up the contestants, and we proved that we can’t be trusted, as ever, to vote in any way other than a hideously (and uncomfortably) predictable manner.
The girls got to meet with some of the guys straight away in a not very exciting small change (Picture: ITV/Shutterstock)
Host Maya Jama was back and proving her worth thougth (Picture: ITV/Shutterstock)
Some viewers were also struck by the superficial similarities to previous Islanders, with Jess a ringer for past winner Mille Court, Mitchel giving big Luca Bish vibes and André rocking a nose piercing just like Dami Hope’s.
It was all very copy and paste unfortunately – it seems Love Island needs that overdue format shake-up right about now.
The drama was dry and lacking in this opening episode, with a few bright comedic spots offered via the usual declarations, such as aesthetics practitioner Jess assuring us her boobs were real and thanking her mum (she must be so proud) and business development executive George admitting he thought a ‘Casanova’ was a car.
As ever, these are the unscripted moments that can’t really be forced, and we can only hope that there will be more gems heading our way over the next – potentially very long – eight weeks.
Jess Harding is an early standout (Picture: ITV/Shutterstock)
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While the new Islanders settle down and start to show their cards, it appeared Jess was the one getting a fair amount of screen time as a naturally louder personality – and especially after she shared her disappointment in coupling up with George.
Molly and Mitchel on the other hand were oh so happy with each other (and themselves) thanks to their couple, with some Love Island fans already labelling them this year’s winners. Could it be that simple? Yes, it’s quite likely…
Everyone loves a cringey moment, and Monday night’s best was probably provided by Ella when she revealed that she and Tyrique had already met on a night out in London during the seconds immediately after they were paired up.
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Sadly, it fizzled into nothing quite quickly after it turned out she’d been blonde at that point and a visibly relieved Tyrique could latch onto that as his excuse for not recognising her…
Love Island fans were certainly delighted to get two doses of Maya tonight though, who remains the most promising talent onscreen. She returned to offer any disgruntled girls a little bit of a reprieve – they could step forward if they felt they weren’t with the right boy.
To no one’s surprise considering earlier comments (and no matter how much dramatic music you play), Jess and Ruchee did – and George and Mehdi were both chill over the rejection.
Molly Marsh and Mitchel Taylor are very pleased with being in a couple (Picture: ITV)
A bog0standard kissing challenge got underway (Picture: ITV)
Maya did wanted needed to be done with another incredible dress and some much-needed extra drama for the Islanders (Picture: ITV)
In a desperately needed dose of… something, bombshell Zachariah Noble then entered the villa, offering the usual 24-hour window to get to know Jess and Ruchee before he could ‘steal’ one of them in a standard recoupling.
It’s just nothing we haven’t seen before, although Zachariah’s extremely confident wink suggests he’s ready to ruffle feathers. But what happened to the drama of Shannon Singh lasting one day in the villa before her shock elimination? Even if that were to happen again, it would be a rehashed move though.
It’s hard to tell yet who might provide the most promising slice of TV entertainment this summer, but Jess appears to not have much of a filter, while Ruchee says it like it is too and Catherine has that calmer confidence that can go a long way.
Will bombshell Zachariah rescue us? (Picture: ITV)
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Boys-wise, Mitchel is taking up a fair amount of oxygen, but André looks like no push over.
Early days it may be but having already inserted an extra series of Love Island into 2023, the show needs to work harder now to keep its viewers hooked. The guys chatted about ‘movin’ loose’ – whatever that means, yes please?
Maya also declared that ‘things are about to get interesting’ – we can but hope. Fans are going to need a lot more than we’ve been shown already to avoid feeling involuntarily marooned on this Love Island.
Love Island continues on ITV2 and ITVX tomorrow night at 9pm.
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Here we go again…