‘If I can do it, you can’: What it’s like to travel solo as a Black woman

‘Travelling alone made me feel liberated’: (Picture: Supplied/Getty)

‘Wow, I can’t believe you’re going alone.’ 

A very common response when people find out you’re planning on travelling solo. For years, going abroad alone was seen as one of the scariest leaps a person could take, especially for Black women, who would often add it to our bucket list as a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity that felt more like a pipedream.

In recent years, though, solo travel has become more popular and gained significant traction due to the rise of online travel influencers. The term itself has garnered more than 400 million views on TikTok alone. 

To ensure no one misses out, the Black Travel movement has emerged over the last decade for those who don’t have the same access and safety requirements as their non-Black counterparts.

Taking the shape of Facebook groups, Instagram pages, podcasts and blogs, the social community for Black adventurers provides a space for travellers to share their experiences and inspire others to explore the world.

Black travellers have to be more cautious when going abroad and must make considerations for the levels of discrimination at any given destination. For Black women in particular, travelling unaccompanied to countries where we may be hypervisible and hypersexualised puts us at further risk of harm.

These concerns weighed heavily on me before my first international solo trip. At 24, I travelled alone to Asia. I convinced myself it was a ‘journey of self-discovery,’ when in reality, I grew tired of travelling with others. More often than not, planned holidays with friends and family fell through. I used to feel so dependent on others that I would cancel my travel plans if someone dropped out. I eventually realised that if I ever wanted to do the things I’ve always wanted to do, I might have to do them alone.

Travelling alone made me feel liberated. I was able to make my own decisions, plan my own itinerary, and sleep in if I wanted to. I tried different foods, met new people, but above all, learned to enjoy my own company. Although this experience brought a euphoric thrill, it also presented its own set of challenges. One of them was when my suitcase fell apart on my way to the airport. I had to scramble to buy a new one just before my flight, which wasn’t ideal.

Kumba Kpakima: ‘I learned that I don’t need others to have a good time.’ (Supplied)

Despite the obstacles I faced, I returned from my trip feeling empowered by my ability to make things happen for myself. I learned that I don’t need others to have a good time and this made me feel more confident to try new things alone.

Prior to my trip, I stumbled upon forums where women candidly shared their experiences of travelling across the world by themselves. It was comforting to know that I wasn’t the only one who felt apprehensive about this journey and that there were others who had successfully done it before me.

The excitement of venturing out on your own is what gave Ashlee Moss, a 32-year-old interior designer from London, the courage to travel solo to Asia for seven months.

‘Before I went on my first solo trip, I started doing little things by myself like going to the cinema alone, eating out on my own because I realised I wasn’t really doing anything by myself at that point in my life,’ she says. ‘I was doing everything with friends, or my partner at the time.’

Ashlee tells Metro.co.uk that although travelling alone can be a transformative experience, it can also be very challenging, especially when you have to deal with constant stares from people who have never encountered someone like you before. 

‘I think people in cities rarely ever stare at you because they’re used to expats, whereas, in the more rural places I visited, they were not used to seeing Black people, there were a lot of stares and I had this big curly hair. I wasn’t used to the stares and I think that trip put me back a few years. I didn’t travel solo again for three years after that.’ 

Ashlee Moss: ‘What we may consider problematic is simply intrigue.’ (Supplied)

Every so often a video of a Black woman in a foreign country goes viral. In these clips, the women are often approached by strangers to take a photo with them or being viewed as ‘mythical creatures’ that are only ever seen on television or in movies.

‘I remember I was in this little village buying a mimosa,’ recalls Ashlee, ‘and I felt something on my back. I turned around and this man had my braids in his hands. The girl who was serving me explained that he had never seen anyone like me before and he was admiring how beautiful my hair is.

‘I realised in that moment what we may consider problematic is simply intrigue a lot of the time. I started to reframe my mind and going forward tried to view people’s stares and people’s reactions as pure curiosity. I think this helped change my experience with travel.’ 

Despite the unsettling feeling that comes with travelling to new environments, many Black women are determined not to let their worries hold them back. Instead, they choose to embrace the excitement and adventure that comes with travelling alone.

‘It is an amazing experience, it has its ups and downs as anything would, but it has more ups than downs,’ Sarah Toyin, a London-based travel content creator, says.

‘Being able to solo travel has actually given me the confidence to do other things in my life. You’re putting yourself in a whole new culture, halfway across the world. You learn so much, you get to meet a lot of people and when you come back, you feel a sense of accomplishment like, “I did that”, it is definitely some sort of confidence booster.’ 

The sense of independence and the freedom to explore at your own pace does wonders for self-esteem. However, even seasoned travellers who have been venturing around the world on their own for a long time get nervous before embarking on a new journey.

Sarah Toyin: ‘It has more ups than downs’ (Picture: Supplied)

Sarah has six years of solo travel experience and knows the feeling of pre-flight anxiety all too well. She recommends managing this anxiety by ensuring safety and conducting thorough research before your trip. 

‘Before I embark on any solo trip, I ask myself, “if anything were to happen, will I have internet? How will I contact people? How will people know where I am?” Since you are by yourself, people may not know where you are, so I make sure to share my location with someone.

She adds: ‘I have a portable door lock and a portable door wedge that I bring with me to put in my hotel room for safety. I never tell anyone I’m travelling alone and I always make sure I’m sharing my location with people back home. If I can do it, other people can definitely do it.’

As with anything in life, there are always going to be concerns and worries that come with it, but the joys of discovering new places on your own are unforgettable. Through solo travel you can gain a new perspective on life and new approaches to problem-solving you never thought you were capable of.

‘I still often feel an overwhelming sense of peace, tranquility and joy when I travel,’ Ashlee says. ‘I never really expected to have those moments or experience them so far from home. It makes me feel very fortunate even now.’

So, if you’re feeling the urge to explore and discover, don’t let fear hold you back. Take that leap of faith and go on an adventure of a lifetime.

MORE : Yoga by day, party by night: This is Kala, the boutique festival attempting to rebrand Albania

MORE : From Oprah to deep-dish pizza, Chicago has it all: Why America’s ‘second city’ deserves a promotion

‘I realised in that moment what we may consider problematic is simply intrigue a lot of the time.’